The Marrying Kind Page #6

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I'm practically positive. Semper Fidelis!

Time's up!

Semper Fidelis!

I'm sorry, Mrs. Keefer. Better luck next time.

It was The Washington Post March.

But for your efforts the makers

of Amazing Cream for your face and skin...

"rub it on when your wrinkles begin... "

will send you the large deluxe size

as a gift from the manufacturers.

Thank you and good night.

Thank you.

"Rub it in when the wrinkles begin. "

Don't be surprised I never talk again.

Money you get that way

never does you any good.

Holy jumping! $2,600!

Listen, I bet by the time

they get through with that...

it wouldn't be over half of that.

And what's wrong with half of that?

And another thing,

it could have been Semper Fidelis.

None of that gaggle does me any good.

Me neither.

- You going to take a bath?

- Why? You want to?

- Go out, you'll catch a cold.

- No, I won't.

- What time did you tell Emily and Pat?

- Sure you will.

7:
00.

- We don't want a cold for our anniversary.

- Okay.

How'd I know when to take a bath

before we got married?

Did you?

Maybe we should have splurged

on a regular babysitter.

That sister of mine

can be awful late sometimes.

You know what I hear they have great

at Toffenetti's? Their baked potatoes.

How about wearing a pair of stockings

not got a mend in them for our anniversary?

Like you were my girl, not wife.

If I was your girl, how would you know

if I had a mend in my stockings, Mr. Fresh?

Do you think I should shave?

I did this morning.

Yeah, our anniversary

and wearing your tux and all.

And shave fast.

I don't want to rush through

a Toffenetti dinner the one time I get to go.

Toot-sweet.

I'd have thought Mr. Dow

would have taken you to Toffenetti's...

- A couple of times.

- What?

Clarence F. Dow, your old boyfriend.

I mean, boss.

- Honestly!

- And truly.

If you're so anxious to get jealous,

I'll give you a list.

I'd give you a list, too,

only there's so many, I forgot most of them.

Okay, Don Juan, shave your face.

What time is it?

You think maybe we ought to take a cab?

It's almost 7:
00.

I mean, it's no economy

to eat a swell dinner fast...

- Then ruin the effect of our stomach.

- What did you say?

- I'm treating us to a cab.

- Since when did you get so manly?

What time did you get the table

at the Latin Quarter for?

11:
30. Show starts around midnight or so.

That's them.

Next time, regular babysitters.

Wait a minute. I'm getting in my dress.

Happy New Year!

At your service!

Mr. And Mrs. Pat Bundy. Babysitters, Inc.

Glad to sit on any baby in town!

- You're not kidding, are you?

- Come on, straighten out.

Never been more straighten

in my life, buster.

- Happy birthday!

- Who said anything about a...

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, dear Florence and Chet

Happy birthday to you

That's it.

Quiet!

Just four years ago this minute, at 11:14...

the two of us became one of us.

- Honey.

- What's the matter?

- You sorry you married me?

- I was thinking suppose I never met you.

You couldn't avoid me.

I'd have kept on meeting, till I met you.

We now take you to the Latin Quarter!

Hey, Mom!

Hey, kid, let's go!

The butcher shop was never like this.

I'm coming at you.

- I told you he was a good dancer.

- Yeah, he's great.

You want to bet?

Mom, I thought you and Pop were going out

to get married.

I'll take him.

Anyway, Judge Carroll,

for the next few years there...

everything went along pretty all right,

didn't it?

How should I know?

Between the job and home,

and raising the kids up...

the best I was, was punchy.

I didn't know if things were going good

or going bad.

They were just going, that's all.

Then the next thing came

that Declaration Day.

Yeah, last year.

Declaration Day.

Declaration Day.

Ma, can I wear my bathing suit?

Then I'll be all ready. Could I?

You want to ride home

in a wet bathing suit? Do you?

Could I, Ma? I want to be cool.

I don't care if I freeze to death.

- Can I?

- What happened to the pickles, Chet?

Wear your overalls.

With the salt and pepper

where I'm putting the eggs.

I never get to do one thing I ever want to.

Not one thing!

Miss Misery, get going

or we'll drive away without you.

- You would not!

- And your red sneakers, remember?

My red sneakers?

Come on, fellas! Let's go, fellas!

It's getting late. Come on, let's go!

Look! A squirrel!

I saw it, Ma! I saw a squirrel!

I saw the first squirrel of anybody.

I got a book about a squirrel and I read it...

and the squirrel's name was Squirrel Nutkin.

Ma, would you be scared if you saw a bear?

If he came out and stood in the road,

what would you do, Ma?

- What do you think you would?

- I'd ask him what he's advertising.

Ma, the blanket! Everyone's looking at me!

Do you like ants, Ma?

At home I don't, but aren't they different

out here in the woods?

Ants are all right if they mind

their business, but not in my food.

- I think this one's a father ant.

- Could I have one without dirt in it?

This one's only got pine needles.

Everyone's supposed to eat a peck of dirt.

Brush them off, Joey.

I wish I could live in the woods, Pop.

Why couldn't we?

I know how to light a fire with no matches,

rub two pieces together.

- Want to see me?

- Why does that make a fire?

In a minute it'll start.

Watch for smoke, Ma. Just watch.

- Come on, Joey, let's go swimming!

- I'm coming, too, okay?

Only to the edge, Joey. You just ate!

- Can you make fire, Pa?

- It's too hot for fire. Take a cupcake.

- You know what I bet would be a great idea?

- What?

Flavored postage stamps.

What do you mean "no"?

Just 'cause you didn't think of it,

or that other great mind, George Bastian?

No, because where's the return?

Who likes to lick stamps? Nobody.

But if it's clover, mint, or spearmint,

why not?

Can you charge more for it if it's flavored?

Would you?

I what?

- Pay 4 for a three-cent if it was?

- Gladly.

All right, so even if you did, which I doubt...

- Who'd get the money? The government.

- So?

I like to figure something

how I can get some.

All right, but if not money...

an idea like that could get you someplace

in the Post Office Department.

- Get me canned for being a nut, probably.

- Don't be surprised if I work on it.

You do that, honey.

Where's the mother?

- Joey! In the water!

- He's not there, he's down in the water.

Joey, in the lake, in the water!

Oh, my God! Joey!

Here, Florence.

Come on.

What's the use?

I mean, after all, this is a thing we...

A whole year ago that was,

and I still can't believe it.

I don't know how we lived through it.

Maybe we didn't.

A thousand times we think

we can't live through a thing...

and somehow we do.

- One thing I know is, I can't much more.

- Me neither.

Of course...

that's the easiest thing to do.

Give up.

- We tried, Judge Carroll, like we told you.

- I'm sure you did.

It wouldn't work.

Why not?

It's a thing you got to believe in...

and I guess,

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