The Marrying Kind Page #5

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I may be wrong, but I don't think so!

But if I'm right, we're millionaires!

Florrie, don't talk to me a few minutes.

Give me some pencil and paper.

- Should I make coffee?

- Yeah, I think so.

What's the difference,

I may never sleep again!

That's why we could hardly wait

for you to get back!

Nobody's even so much

as laid eyes on it till today...

except Florence and George and me.

Three eyes, that's all, three pair.

This sort of thing's way out of my line.

You've got to get a patent lawyer.

They figure out

how you can protect yourself.

But that's why we decided to ask you.

See, we frankly need some financing.

With the new kid coming,

we're a little strapped.

And that's why.

Just what sort of a market would there be

for a thing like this?

- The best market there is. It's a kid thing.

- The surest way to get anything over...

- Is to make it a kid thing.

- Look at the Hop-a-Longs...

one of the biggest industries

in the country today.

- Why?

- Because it's a kid thing!

A man will spend, who knows,

anything, if it's for his kid.

He may not even buy himself a shirt.

Let him buy his kid something that

is bigger than anything any other kid...

- It's not only a kid thing.

- It's a sports thing!

And it's healthful!

What if a few kids fall, break a few legs?

Then you've got nothing

but lawsuits on your hands.

- All kinds of skis, skates.

- They're not full of lawsuits!

- But that's something tried and true.

- This is tried and true.

We tried it ourselves.

If you'd ever do it once yourself...

I didn't think much of it myself,

till I tried it myself.

I'm too old for this sort of thing.

Why do you always keep saying

you're too old?

Look, kitten, don't get mad.

Florence herself says it's a kid thing.

- Not only a kid thing.

- Come on, Howard, try it.

Okay.

Now listen, remember

not to mention about this to anybody.

- All right, don't get so wrapped up!

- I'm not wrapped!

Yeah, good, Howard, let's go.

Yeah, wait a minute now, be careful!

Let's go out here.

- Okay, all right.

- You can get the general idea.

Grab both my hands, that's it.

This is the way.

- Say, this is great, kitten!

- See?

Some sensation, huh?

Now, to stop,

just bend the ankle inward. See?

They might have quite a thing here, kitten!

Let go. Let me do it myself.

Water, get some water!

Talk about lawsuits,

you got one on your hands right now.

- Here.

- What's that?

- Pour it on him.

- Pour it on your own husband! You maniac!

Get out of here, I'm telling you,

both of you! Beat it!

Come on, Florence, let's go.

Kitten.

Our thing! That's our thing!

Why did that somebody else have

to wait till now to think of it, too?

What?

So, it's nobody's fault

you could put your finger at.

Just one of those breaks.

You get enough of those breaks,

next thing, you're beyond repair. That's us.

That doggone invention hadn't conked

on us, things would've been different.

We'd have been right on our feet

instead of on our...

Excuse me.

Are you saying that what broke things up

was not getting rich all of a sudden?

No, but...

Be surprised the number of people

with money come through here.

Bless you! It wasn't only that, it was

more like we're hard luck for each other.

- Did you love Florence?

- Yes.

- Sure?

- Sure.

How'd you know?

Well, she told me I did, and she was right.

Let me ask you, Florence,

what did you want out of marriage?

- What I didn't get.

- Such as?

I always thought if I ever got married...

the one thing I'd never be anymore

was lonesome.

But the funny thing, you can be it

even in the same bedroom with a husband.

He seems to be worrying and thinking

about different things except you.

But the different things were always for you.

The kind of love in books

and movies is not for people.

- You got to be more realistic.

- Why?

The one thing, Judge Carroll,

nobody can say I didn't try.

What I'm trying to locate here,

and I wish you'd help me...

is what makes you sure there's no hope?

We already told.

That you were in love, married,

and worked at it...

had a few spats and some bad luck

but what is it makes you incompatible?

Being married to each other.

That's all in the point of view.

What you choose to remember, how.

I remember a time, one summer,

my husband and I went on a holiday.

For some reason I remembered

the full moon and the quiet nights.

He only remembers the mosquitoes.

We went on a vacation once, too.

I don't know

if I remember mosquitoes exactly...

but I remember the two weeks,

Chet talking about how we couldn't afford it.

- We couldn't.

- Okay.

With two kids all of a sudden,

there was enough to worry.

The kids were the two of us, remember?

Not just me.

Somebody had to worry.

It was a whole thing

getting harder and harder to handle.

Stuck to the house all the time, practically.

It seemed like we were working

for the benefit of nothing...

but the obstetrician and the pediatrician.

- Had a lot of fun, though.

- I just know I was worrying all the time.

- Look, Ma, I'm painting, too.

- Look, honey.

- Put him in the playpen.

- Give me the brush.

No, Mom, Daddy, I want to help you paint.

I know you do...

but you're gonna help us better

by playing with Ellen.

You play with your little sister,

like a nice little boy.

You know the first time I knew

I could paint any good?

You got to work it into the corners more.

When I started painting my nails red.

Ma, could I stay up later than her tonight?

Ma, why can't I?

Because you...

Got to fix that. Tube's loose.

And send the bill to your great Mr. Dow.

That set was a lemon to start with.

Okay, folks!

The next big chance

to name the lucky tune goes to...

Mrs. Chester Keefer

of No. 9 Peter Cooper Road...

Gramercy 2-5000.

Oh, boy, lucky Mrs. Keefer.

Operator, are you putting

that call through right away? Thank you.

Ma! It's talking to you.

I do hope Mrs. Keefer is home.

We're just itching to give away $2,600

in behalf of our sponsors...

the makers of Amazing Cream for your skin.

It's ringing. There. Yes.

That our phone, Pop?

Are we the Keefer on the radio?

This will be a big night for the Keefers.

Pick it up!

Hello there. Anybody on the other end?

Say hello, can't you?

Hello.

A good evening to you!

Is this Mrs. Chester Keefer of No. 9...

Peter Cooper Road, Gramercy 2-5000?

- What?

- What do you mean, "what?"

Yes, I am.

Cigarette!

This may be your lucky night to win $2,600.

And I certainly do hope so.

Are you listening to Your Lucky Night?

Mrs. Keefer?

Yes, I am. I did.

I am.

That is fine, Mrs. Keefer.

Now, for $2,600...

we're going to play the lucky tune

for you to guess.

We'll give you 15 seconds to tell us the title.

Okay? Ready! Go!

- I think, I mean, it sounds like...

- What are you going to say?

- The Washington Post March.

- No, I'm telling you, no!

What then?

I'm almost sure, it's... We used to play it.

I'm sure it's Semper Fidelis!

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