The Marrying Man Page #7

You know the odds on that?

You couldn't place the bet.!

- I'm real sorry he

never got to meet you.

- Yeah.

He had a real nice face...

so... gentle.

Well, he was in a coma.

When are we going home?

I've got some business

to take care of.

I am the president

of the company now.

When can we leave?

I don't know.

I'd say in about two years.

After that, we'd only have to spend

seven or eight months a year here.

Two years?

Honey, the company

isn't doing well.

If I don't go to work,

we could lose everything.

Two years!

You've got to give me

at least a year and a half.

If a picture comes up,

you go to L.A. And do it.

Pictures don't

come up in Boston.

You don't get to do

screen tests in Massachusetts...

or meet directors or producers

on Plymouth Rock!

I had a hard enough time getting into

the studios when I was there every day.

- Why was that, Charley?

- It's a tough business.

Especially when you're married

to the guy who dumped Adele Horner.

Right.

And who did I dump her for?

Isn't that worth

two years of your life?

Is it a torture to live

in a place like this?

This is high society.

It doesn't get any higher.

I just want a chance

to do it on my own.

I can understand that.

All I want is

what's coming to me.

- Don't touch me.

- You're good at singing.

I'm very good at

inheriting money.

I may be the best in my field.

I just don't want

to be without you.

I'll leave it up to you.

Whatever you decide is fine.

You know I can't be

without you two years.

Oh, God!

So they stayed...

and Vicki began the pleasant

process of fitting into Boston.

A lot of parties, new clothes,

a lot ofhats.

I recall she mentioned hats.

Meanwhile, Charley became obsessed

with saving the family business.

He was determined

to make the old man proud.

Vicki spent her nights alone

waiting for Charley.

He was very busy.

He was making major

important business decisions.

It needs a little more mint, guys.

Vicki, darling,

how long have you been here?

Vicki, darling?

Oh, ah, two years.

We've been here two years.

Carl and I were

married two years...

when our sex life died.

We had a small funeral.

It was lovely.

- Charles is having an affair

with his secretary.

- What?

Oh, no, no, darling.

My Charles, not your Charles.

Oh!

I didn't think...

Everything is all right

with you two, isn't it?

Oh, absolutely.

We're fine.

He's just a little busy.

- Busy?

- "Just have to finish

these reports, dear."

- Hi.

- Hi.

Whatcha doing?

I gotta get through

these reports.

How much longer?

Couple of hours.

Oh, Charley!

I miss you so much.

I miss you, too, baby.

How does that feel?

That feels great, baby.

Do you know where my hand is?

Not now, okay.

Maybe later.

Not later, Charley.

Now!

Ow!

What are you doing?

What's the matter with you?

What's the matter with us?

What's happening to us?

Nothing's happening.

- Exactly. Nothing.

- What are you talking about?

Where's that crazy feeling

you used to have about me?

Where is it, Charley?

Oh, come on, baby.

- It's gone.

- No, it's not.

Don't lie.

Well, a little,

but it'll come back.

This happens to everybody.

Charley, we don't even

touch each other anymore.

Remember how you used

to love to touch me?

I still do.

No, you don't, Charley.

We've been here two years.

Get us out of here

before it kills us. Please!

You can't expect me to walk away

from such an important part of my life.

I did.

The board of directors

is trying to squeeze me out.

I've put everything we own

into the stock options.

If I leave now,

we'll lose everything.

If you stay, you'll lose me.

I kept my side of the bargain.

What's it gonna be, Charley?

Christmas, 1950,

was not a happy time for Charley Pearl.

They were divorced

for the second time.

Somewhere fate was laughing.

Then spring arrived

and tragedy struck one of our own.

Sammy announced

he was getting married.

So we drove back

to the Pick-A-Daisy Ranch.

Bugsy Siegel

had been bumped off.

We figured Nevada was now safe.

Even Charley made the trip west.

- Boy, was he a load oflaughs.

- Somebody cheer Charley up.

- He's givin' me the creeps.

- Leave the man alone. He's grieving.

I can't believe

I'm getting married.

- Why'd you say "yes"?

- I don't know.

I think she had a hypnotist

over while I was sleeping.

- What do you think about Adele?

- What?

She eloped to Mexico

with her chauffeur.

Lew Horner cut her off

without a cent.

You are kidding me!

They say two out of four

marriages ends in divorce.

The other two are suicides!

But l... Hey!

- I wonder where she is now.

- Adele?

- In Mexico with the chauffeur.

- No, Vicki!

- Haven't played that in years!

- I was crazy about that woman.

- Vicki.

- Right.

Then one day it stopped.

Just like that. Why?

Why? Because you're a man, Charley.

And men are crazy,

f***ed up sons-of-b*tches.

We want what we can't have, and when

we have it we don't want it anymore.

- Look at him.

- Look at me, going to a whorehouse...

so I can get hot for

my wife on our honeymoon...

who I already shtupped

twelve hundred times.

We're all nuts!

- You're not the first.

- What?

- Lots of guys shtupped your wife

twelve hundred times.

- I did.

See? The first person we asked.

- That is not funny.

- What is not?

- Hey, slow up. Just slow up.

- What for?

- Aw, no.

- I don't believe it.

- Are you serious?

- Do you know...

what the odds are on this happening?

Predictable.

- Just one drink.

- No, no.

Every time we stop for a drink,

you gotta get married.

I just want to wish her

good luck.

Tie it on a rock

and throw it through the window.

I'm so glad that

I ain't no fool no more

I'm so glad that

I ain't no fool no more

God, she still

looks great, huh?

Oh, well,

I don't mean that great.

She looks good. Nice. Regular.

My ma wants me to marry

a multimillionaire

But I just want somebody

who can handle me with care

So now you seen her,

don't look anymore.

Remember that story

in the Bible?

You're gonna turn

into a box of salt.

It's a Biblical story.

You can check.

It's over, finito, kaput, huh?

- Fellas, let's go.

- We didn't order no champagne.

- Compliments of Mr. Denaro.

- Who's Mr. Denaro?

Number-one man

at the hotel.

Look at this.

It went from Bugsy to crazy.

Pal, tell Miss Anderson

to join us for a glass of champagne...

Shh!

After this set is over.

Miss Anderson doesn't drink

with guests.

Hey, hey, pal,

this is not a guest.

This is Charley Pearl.

He was both her husbands.

I'm sorry.

Mr. Denaro's orders.

She's taken up with Gus!

I should've known...

that these cheap Vegas punks

were always her style.

Charley, this girl had

a shot at the big leagues...

- but could not hit the fastball.

- He's not wrong.

I don't care if you're young

of if you're old d

- Let's get outta here.

- Smart.

Her face is gettin'

a little puffy, you notice?

On my mother's life, I was gonna

say that, but I was afraid to.

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