The Mayor of Hell Page #3

environment in the world, the city slums.

That's where I come from. There's nothing

the matter with me, is there?

- Oh, well, of course. L...

- Oh, nuts.

Hello.

Hello, this is Thompson

up at the state reformatory.

- Is Sam there?

- Yeah, this is Sam.

Say, who is this Gargan,

this new deputy?

Oh, now don't get excited.

You got nothing to worry about.

He's just a cheap ward heeler.

- Well, how did he get up here?

- Well, it's a reward.

The old man had to do it.

Yeah, they promised him a park department

job but they couldn't take a chance.

All he wants is that little velvet.

You know, side money.

Yeah, that deputy's salary.

All right, goodbye.

How you feel, kid?

It's all finished.

Grab hold. I'll carry you into bed.

No, no. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. I'll get him.

Please be as quiet as possible.

There's some boys asleep in here.

Anything else I could do for you, kid?

What's the matter with these kids?

Mr. Thompson will answer any questions

for you.

- That kid's cut up pretty bad, ain't he?

- Yes, he is.

Say, what's the idea,

all that barbed wire, anyway?

That's another question

Mr. Thompson will have to answer.

Oh, just a minute.

I'm a deputy commissioner.

The reason I'm asking questions is

I wanted to find out about conditions.

- Did you?

- Yeah.

- You got a good picture tonight.

- Yeah. That was tough.

Remember, that kid's plenty hard.

That's nothing to what he'll be

when he leaves.

What are you going to do with a kid?

Show him plenty or he'll run over you.

Bound to wind up in a joint like this.

The reason they don't send him

to the pen is, he's young.

- That's all, ain't it?

- In a sense.

You don't seem to consider...

...that a school is where they're

supposed to be shown the right things.

It's implied that they

can learn that better here.

- Yeah.

- But that's not true.

Not at this school, at any rate.

- Well, what do they teach them here?

- You'll have to find out for yourself.

I've already said much too much.

Well, um...

What I wanna know is, how does a gal

like you get into this racket, anyway?

How did you get the job?

Pull, like everyone else.

But I don't use my position

as a means to line my pockets.

Meaning what?

Those boys aren't fed properly,

that's enough.

- Why don't the kids bellyache?

- To whom?

Lots of people around.

- There's no one interested enough to listen.

- Well, I'd like to do something.

- Would you?

- Mm-hm.

I don't think so.

Come on, now, come on.

Put away that hammer.

You seem to have a lot of ideas.

I've been asking questions,

now tell me your ideas. What's it about?

- What would you do?

- Well...

First of all, I'd give the boys a chance

to be human beings.

I'd let them make an attempt at

self-government. Under supervision.

I'd let them decide that they wanna be

honest and responsible, not force them.

I'd let them have their own court.

I'd let them govern themselves.

I'd let them punish themselves.

That's swell.

- Do you really think so?

- Mm-hm. Yeah, go on. Go ahead.

I like to see you burn up.

I like to see you get excited.

- Do you?

- Sure.

When you start blazing away that way...

...why, you give me ideas.

Oh, now, wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Don't get me wrong.

I didn't mean anything by that.

Open up, will you? Will you, Miss...?

Will you, Miss Griffith?

Hello, Mike. Bring the car over here

and wait for me.

- Is Miss Griffith inside?

- Yeah.

All right. I'll be right with you.

- This is your idea of a weekend?

- What's the matter, don't you like it?

Like it? Why, you rat. I got a notion

to slug you right in the button.

Lay off. Lay off.

You don't see me climbing any trees,

do you?

No, you ain't smart enough.

Oh, hello.

Hey, I just left Jimmy.

He's doing all right.

Sorry about last night,

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

Wait a minute.

Give me a chance to explain.

Now, wait a minute, will you,

Miss Griffith?

Come on, warden.

Well, goodbye, Mr. Gargan.

- Oh, goodbye.

- Yeah, let's hear from you.

You will.

Well, that's that for another year.

I don't agree with you, Mr. Gargan.

And I don't think you are the man

to instigate such reforms.

- Now, listen...

- You know I opposed your appointment.

I opposed it violently.

A political job for services rendered.

- Well, what's that got to do with it?

- I don't know what your object is.

But it seems to me to be very dubious,

to say the least.

All I'm trying to do

is to give the kids a break.

I'm afraid I can't discuss

the matter any further.

Okay.

Send them a night letter?

Yes, it'll save a lot...

Johnson. Who is this Judge Gilbert?

What's he got to do with us?

- I told you what I want. I'm gonna get it.

- Listen.

I've been listening enough. I didn't squawk

when you crossed me on that job.

This is different.

The judge don't want you.

He don't want? I'm telling you what I want.

I'm gonna get it.

- My boy...

- Or else I take my votes elsewhere.

Oh, listen, Pat...

Now, no stalling. I won't stand for it.

It's not so easy. Gonna have to go

to the old man and see the governor.

Go to him. Go to the president.

I don't care where you go.

I want the job

of running that joint my way.

- Why do you want it?

- That's my business. Do I get it or don't I?

All right. Suppose we get it for you.

You think you can hold your voters

in line while you're away?

Leave that to me.

I haven't failed yet, have I?

Now, come on. How about it?

All right, Patsy.

I'll speak to the old man.

Now you're talking, sweetheart.

Report to me every week.

The routine is gonna be the same,

only Joe's in charge. Understand?

Yeah.

- All right.

If McCaskey doesn't come across with

that 10th Street building, let him have it.

No monkey business.

Find me at the school.

- I got a tintype of you playing nursemaid...

- That's enough out of you.

You just go on making those collections

and shut up, see?

You know what to do, Joe. Come on.

Shaw, Mayo...

...Atler, Morgan.

Assigned to the canning factory.

- Go on, take them away.

All right, come on. Let's go.

Well, hello, Mr. Gargan.

Hello.

- How do you do, sir?

Go right ahead. Don't wait for me.

- Yeah.

Our weekly work assignment.

Oh, I see. Yeah.

- Mr. Thompson, sir?

- What is it?

- Can I go to the woodshop instead?

No, boy. Go to the laundry.

Why must he go to the laundry?

Why can't he go where he likes?

Efficiency, Mr. Gargan.

There's work to be done there.

I like the laundry too, sir.

I'll go there if you like.

All right, come on.

Hello, fella.

What do you wanna do?

Well, why don't you answer

when you're spoken to?

What do you wanna do?

I wanna get out of here.

Why don't you smarten up?

You're in now. Make the best of it.

What do you wanna do?

Still tough, huh?

You chump.

I'll take care of him.

Now, I've had about enough

of your insolence.

Listen.

I never wanna see you lay your hand

on a kid again.

That's the last time. Do you hear?

As deputy, you've no right

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