The Mayor of Hell Page #4

to interfere with...

Deputy?

You kids are dismissed.

You, you and you, inside.

- Mr. Gargan, I'll not stand for...

- Never mind.

Here. Get a load of this.

So you are going to run the school.

That don't lie and I'm gonna run

this racket my way from now on.

Well, I'm glad.

I mean that sincerely.

For 12 years, I've tried to do

my duty to the state. Well, maybe I...

I wanna know, you gonna

string along with me or not? If not...

- Mr. Gargan, I don't know what you're...

- Thompson?

I think you better take a vacation.

- A month. Starting tomorrow.

- No.

- No. I don't need it.

- Yeah, you better do that.

You're looking a bit green

around the gills now.

I'll see you later.

Remember, one month starting tomorrow.

Do you a world of good.

Come on.

Get your books and bring them upstairs.

Hats...

...off.

Have a seat.

Everybody turn and face me.

Come on. Come on.

You got nothing to be afraid of.

That's it.

Fellows, I wanna meet you.

My name's Gargan,

new deputy commissioner.

From now on, all orders come from me.

So all the guards, all the guards,

right up here in front.

All of them. Come on.

I've got things to say to you.

Listen carefully.

Beginning tomorrow,

there's not gonna be any more of this.

And no more double-quick.

When you hear that mess-hall bell, drop

what you're doing and come and get it.

Oh, yeah. I've got one bit of bad news.

The only time you don't eat in here...

...is when you come in

with dirty hands and faces.

No wash-ee, no eat-ee. Get it?

All right. Well, that's that.

Now let's all sit down and eat.

Let's go.

All right, boys, bring it in.

All right, boys, bring it on.

- Hey, Stupe, I'll do business with you.

- What do you mean?

The bacon for the eggs.

Oh, no.

All right, so take it.

Can I help it if I lose?

Hey.

Carry all that.

Yeah.

Hurry up.

I suppose you're wondering

what this is all about.

Well, this is a birthday.

The birthday of a new kind of school.

The self-government republic.

We won't go into it,

but after we've taken care of this...

...Miss Griffith and I

will give you the whole lowdown.

And now, I'm going to ask Uncle Mike

to cut the cake.

- Uncle Mike?

- Uncle Mike.

Come on, fellas,

three cheers for Uncle Mike.

Hip, hip...

Hurrah!

Hello, Tiny.

Want another piece of cake?

- Sure.

- Okay.

Give me another piece of cake.

Well, now, look, this is the way it is.

It's all very simple.

Just suppose this is a city

like any other city.

That's the way it's gotta be run.

We have a mayor, a treasurer,

a district attorney and a chief of police.

The whole works,

all the way down the line. You get it?

And then... You see, uh... Now, uh...

- Uh...

- The store.

Oh, yeah. The... Yeah.

Look, there's going to be a store

where you can buy things.

But the only way you can buy anything

is by working.

But we'll all go into that later.

- What we have to do here now is, uh...

- Nominations for officers.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Now, look.

Look, nominations for officers.

Of course, the first officer

will be that of mayor.

Uh, who do you want for mayor?

Come on, everybody knows everybody else.

Who do you want?

I nominate Jimmy Smith for mayor.

Oh, attababy.

Ask him why he nominates Jimmy Smith

for mayor.

Johnny, Johnny, why do you nominate

Jimmy Smith for mayor?

Well, because he can lick any kid

in this school.

Oh, yeah?

That's what you say.

I got put in this joint for blowing a safe.

That's more than any of these mugs did.

I'll fight you any time you want for the job.

Yeah, all right, let's go...

Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Mr. Chairman, Mr. Chairman,

I have a nomination for chief of police.

I'd like to nominate Butch Kilgore

for chief of police...

...because he's the best man for the job.

Jimmy Smith. Jimmy, your nomination

for mayor was unanimous...

...so will you second Butch Kilgore

for chief of police?

Come on, fellow, be regular.

Attaboy, Jimmy.

Okay.

Hm. That was close.

Well, now... Now we'll, uh...

We'll take up the nomination

for treasurer.

Who do you want to handle your dough?

It's a very important job.

Now, come on. Who do you want?

So that's the way

this school is gonna be run.

So you see, we won't need you anymore.

You're through.

Just a minute, Mr. Gargan, but I happen

to be Mr. Thompson's brother-in-law.

- Thompson's brother-in-law. No kidding?

- Yeah, sure.

Well, then it goes double in spades.

You guys can get out of those uniforms.

And leave your whips. I might need them.

Listen, Mr. Gargan. I'm not turning

on the weeps about losing the job.

But I think you got a swell idea.

And I'd like to stay here

and see how it works out.

I know all about you, Wilson.

I know your record. It's okay.

But we're not making any exceptions.

All the guards have to go for the present.

Okay.

Hello. How do you like the bookshelves?

- Oh, they look fine.

- Thanks.

Miss Griffith, may I see you a minute?

What do you do

when a fellow returns a book?

Oh, you stamp the borrower's card.

Then you take one of these cards,

stamp it "returned," and put it in the book.

Oh, I see, thanks a lot.

- How do you feel, Johnny?

- Oh, I feel swell.

Why, how are you, Mr. Thompson?

Well, what's this?

This is another one of Gargan's ideas

of self-government.

This is the courtroom

where the kids try their own cases.

They use it as a recreation

and study room as well.

And this is a reformatory, huh?

Well, well, Thompson.

- Well, how do you do, Mr. Gargan?

- When did you get back?

- About an hour ago, sir.

- Uh-huh.

Yeah, Walters has just been showing

me around.

It's wonderful, the improvements

you've made here during my vacation.

- The boys get along well, don't you think?

- Yes, wonderful. Yeah.

Yeah, I didn't think it was possible.

Oh, I'm with you all the way. Believe me.

Oh, you are? Well, that's fine.

Excuse me.

If I can only think of some way

to discredit this...

...Gargan.

Something important

for me to be able to go to the judge...

...and force him out of here.

I don't know. It won't be easy.

He's smarter than I thought he was.

He and this Griffith woman

have got their system working like a charm.

Come in.

Oh, hello, Charlie.

Hello, Charlie.

Oh, hello, Mr. Thompson.

What is it, Charlie?

Uncle Mike went back to the city.

Yeah?

Charlie's been doing some good work

for me the past month.

- Uncle Mike?

- Yeah.

The guy that Gargan brought up here

with him.

All right, Charlie.

Uh, Charlie.

Come here a minute.

Say, Charlie...

...how would you like

to get away from this school?

Make a little money

to take with you besides.

- You really mean it, Mr. Thompson?

- Sure, I mean it.

You've been a good boy, Charlie,

and I'm gonna let you go.

Walk clean away.

On one condition:

That you get Jimmy Smith, the mayor,

to go with you.

Well?

That ought to be easy.

There is nothing hard about that, is there?

I don't know. Everybody kind

of likes it here now. I mean...

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