The Mayor of Hell Page #5

Jimmy Smith doesn't like it,

does he, Charlie?

He's still sore, isn't he?

- Yeah, he's kind of sore.

- Sure, he'll go with you.

Now listen, Charlie.

I'll tell you what you'll say to him, you see?

Sure, I know. I know Patsy ain't a bad guy,

but he can't be here forever.

- And Thompson's back, ain't he?

- Yeah.

Things is gonna be tougher

than they ever was, I'll bet.

We ought to beat it now

while we got the chance.

No, not me.

I don't wanna get stuck in any swamps.

Swamps? Oh, they don't even watch

the road gate no more, you know that.

Now listen, we can sneak out the back way

and grab a hitch down the road.

Sure. In these clothes,

they'd spot us in a minute.

I'm not as dumb as you think.

I grabbed some new fishes' clothes

and bunked them in Thompson's office.

Thompson's office?

Well...

...I'm assigned at the administration

building, ain't I, you sap?

Yeah, I know. But what did you

put them in Thompson's office for?

Well, I put them

where he'll never find them.

And besides, we can sneak out

when he ain't around.

Listen, we can be across the state line

by tomorrow morning.

My cousin's got a swell dive up there.

Girls and everything.

Yeah?

Okay, now, thank you.

Hey, give me a chocolate bar,

will you, Izzy?

You had your bar already today.

- No, I didn't.

- No?

No.

- What's this?

- Look, Izzy, what do you care?

What are you arguing for?

What I'm making...

...I could put in my right eye.

Will you beat it, please?

- Izzy, I want a box of those crackers.

- Crackers, yes.

Stop, crook. You dirty pickpocket.

- Bring me in the chief of police right away.

- All right, Izzy.

I'll fix you, you ganef.

Raise your right hand.

Swear to tell the whole truth,

nothing but, so help you God?

Sure.

Okay.

All right, tell us what happened.

Petey comes to my store,

I should give him chocolate.

I'm telling him,

"No, you had one already today. "

So I'm turning around.

But I'm watching him, you see?

When all of a sudden... like that.

What's the use of talking? He's guilty.

Now, wait a minute.

One bar ain't enough. It goes to prove it.

The man was hungry and there should

be two bars a day because...

He eats as much as we all do.

Say, are you gonna let him

bust in on me like that?

What do you mean,

talking to the judge like that, you mug?

I'm sorry, Your Honor,

but let me explain something.

There should be two bars a day.

One in the morning

and one in the afternoon.

Do I have to put up with

that little slug interrupting all the time?

You two guys better get along together.

I'll kick you both out of court.

Okay, the state rests.

What do you do?

Oh, we rest too.

Then the jury will retire

and consider a verdict.

- Hey, Butch.

- Yes, sir?

Come here.

- When did you see Jim last?

- Oh, about an hour ago in the dormitory.

Yeah.

I'll look him up and have a talk with him.

Didn't I tell you

everything would be all right?

Slug. Suppose Thompson walks in.

If he walks in his sleep, he'll walk in.

He's upstairs snoring his head off.

What did you turn that light on for?

Listen, are you on the level with me?

Oh, that's okay.

What's the matter?

Are you getting yellow?

No.

Just careful, see?

Hello, kids.

Don't you think you need some dough?

It's pretty late to get a hitch around here.

I think you better take some.

Here you are. Go on, take it.

No, we don't need your dough.

We'll get along okay.

Yeah, sure you will.

Well, so long, kids.

Good luck.

There, see? He don't care.

Come on.

Gee, he's nuts, ain't he?

Come on.

- Have you seen Jimmy?

- Yeah. Everything's all right.

What's the matter, Patsy?

Just playing a long shot.

Order in the court.

Everybody rise.

One minute with this court.

Mr. Gargan, this has gone far enough.

Your system has blown up.

Two of your boys ran away tonight...

...and had the gall to change their clothes

in my office. Look here.

Is that so?

Well, sit down a minute, will you?

- Go ahead. Sit down.

- I'm gonna notify the board at once.

Don't do that.

You're holding up the court. Sit down.

- You realize responsibility rests with you?

- That's all right.

Sit down for a minute.

Go ahead, and you too.

- Have you reached a verdict?

Yeah.

Well, what is it?

He's guilty.

The court says you don't get no candy bars

for two weeks.

Okay. Sit down, will you, kid?

Listen, fellas.

I wanna tell you...

Hey.

Hey.

Fellas...

...I wanna tell you,

because I think you ought to know...

...that you've done a swell job

here tonight.

You've got everything down pat.

And I'm proud of you.

All right. And that's that.

Court dismissed.

Well, I told you.

Keep your mouth shut or you'll be sorry.

Jim, come here.

Come here

and let a guy talk to you, will you?

What brought you back?

What's the difference?

We're back, ain't we?

Charlie, I think you'd better go up

and get fixed up. Go ahead, kid.

Sit down, Jim. Sit down.

I'm not going to ask you why you beat it.

I can guess that easy.

Well, we'll let that go.

I wanna ask, I want you

to tell me the truth. What's the matter?

Don't you like the way we treat you?

Don't you like us? What is it? Let's have it.

Give us a break.

There must be something you like to do.

Patsy wants to help you do it.

You're the mayor of this place.

You don't act like it.

Well, I didn't ask for the job.

Listen, kid.

I'm gonna tell you something

and it's just between us.

You're the one who makes me

feel I've made a flop out of this.

I'm telling you, the only one.

Say, Jim, that's not bad.

That's good work.

- Have you always been able to draw?

- Yeah, a little.

Come on. Let me see you draw me.

Come on.

Let me see if you can get

my puss on paper. Go. Come on.

A professional tried to draw me once.

He couldn't get me. Couldn't touch me.

Well, you shouldn't be hard to do.

Well, come on. Let me see you do it.

How do you want me, full face or sideways?

Look over there.

You're a cinch.

You know, the more I see it,

the better I like it.

The pan or the picture?

Oh, why, the picture, of course.

Hm. I'm crazy about you, baby.

You know that, don't you?

- Are you, Patsy?

- Mm-hm.

Gets worse all the time.

It's got me worried.

- Why?

- Oh, the setup is all wrong.

I'm bound to wind up

behind the eight ball with you.

What do you mean?

Well, by your standards,

I'm a wrong guy.

- You're the sweetest guy in the world.

- No, you don't know what I mean.

- You don't know my racket.

- I don't care about your racket.

You sure?

Not now, I don't.

Hello?

Mike.

That guy gets in your hair.

- Hello, what do you want?

- I'll tell you.

- You better get down here fast tonight.

- For what?

This Joe is on the loose.

They're stringing with him.

I'm telling you straight,

the guy threw me out. You're frozen out.

Tell him to get here.

Tell him what he tried to do.

Louis is burned too.

He said Joe tried to hold him up today

for cash.

Oh, yeah? Well, listen,

you tell Louis I'm getting right down there.

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