The Men Who Stare at Goats Page #6

- Oh, Jesus!

Lyn, there is no mission.

We're in the middle of the f***ing desert

because you heard voices?

There's no one here!

There's no one f***ing here!

When the dust of Bill's discharge

has settled...

...it revealed a surprising victor.

What you've for me, sergeant?

This is a scientific report

I've done...

...on possible offensive

psi application, sir.

I showed it to Lieutenant Colonel Django,

but he didn't seem interested.

No, I bet he wasn't.

We have men who can do this?

I can think of one, sir.

But we don't have the resources.

Well, sir...

...there is the goat lab.

Just 80 yards from Major Holtz's

office was an abandoned hospital.

Most of the soldiers

who lived and worked in Fort Bragg

...had no idea about the

actual function of this building.

Because,

although it was abandoned,

...the hospital was not empty.

The goats have been secretly flown in

from Central America to avoid customs.

Special forces weren't worried about

regular soldiers hearing the goats...

...because they'd been de-bleated.

Goat Lab was originally created

as a secret laboratory,

...to provide in-the-field surgical

training for Special Forces soldiers.

The goats would get shot

in the leg with a bolt gun...

...and then a trainee would have

to dress the wound successfully.

Goat lab actually used to be

called Dog Lab.

But it turned out most soldiers didn't

feel good shooting dogs in the leg.

The army, though, had long felt

fine about doing stuff to goats.

Even testing atomic weapons

on them.

It's gone, Bob.

What?

I can't find him.

I've lost my powers.

It's a curse.

What curse?

They took this, beautiful thing

that we've been building...

...and they destroyed the

New Earth Army.

Who destroyed it?

I did.

Hooper and Holtz wanted me

to do an experiment.

They wanted me to

stop the heart of a goat.

What had the goat ever done to me?

It was completely against

the way of the Jedi.

I was just gonna pretend to try...

...so that they can see it wouldn't work

and they can forget about it.

Then, as I sat there...

I felt this... pulse

...inside me.

I couldn't stop it.

Maybe deep down inside...

...some dark part of me

wanted to see if I could do it?

Holy sh*t!

That was it.

I'd used my powers for evil and...

...as if I brought a curse

on us all.

It's like that poem where...

...the guy kills the seagull and they

make him wear it round his neck.

Every night I'd dream of that goat.

It's mouth opening and closing

without making a sound.

The silence of the goats.

I finished my tour and I quit.

I walked out.

I never went back.

But before he could leave,

Larry arranged one last parting gift.

What do you...?

It was the Dim Mak.

- The Dim Mak?

- The Dim Mak.

The Quivering Palm.

The Death Touch.

It's forbidden in the New Earth Army.

What does the Death Touch do?

It kills you, Bob.

- With one touch.

- Jesus!

There's a story that Wong Wifu,

the great Chinese martial artist,

...had a fight with a guy

and beat him.

Then the guy gave him

this light tap.

Wong looked at him

and the guy just nodded.

That was it.

He had given him the death touch.

Wong died.

Then and there?

No.

About eighteen years later.

That's the thing about Dim Mak...

...you never know

when it's gonna take effect.

In a funny kind of way

I admired Lyn then.

He believed in something

so much...

...he thought he could

really die from it.

That's what I've been looking

for all along.

Something to believe in.

Something to give meaning

to my life.

So I had fallen for

Lyn's crazy stories.

So I'd followed him

out into the desert.

Look! Look!

Come on! Come on!

These are friendly competitions

held between members of the camp.

When you think this sorta things for kids,

you better think again.

Lyn?

Lyn? Where are you going?

Lyn?

Hello, Bill.

Hello, Lyn.

This is Bob.

Hello, Bob.

Hello.

Oh, good.

The gang's all here.

This is primarily a Psyops base.

- Psy for psychic, right?

- Psy for psychological.

The irony isn't wasted on me.

Radio broadcasts, leaflets,

things like that.

Oh, here's an Iraqi Psyops leaflet

they dropped on us.

"American soldier...

...your wives are back at home...

...having sex with Bart Simpson

and Bert Reynolds. "

Yeah, didn't exactly done their

homework there.

How did you find us, Lyn?

I told you,

I remote viewed you.

If this is Psyops base,

what are you doing here?

I said it was primarily Psyops.

There are individuals in the

current administration...

...who're looking for creative solutions

to the war on terror.

They're far more open minded

than their predecessors,

...and they've outsourced

experimental research to my company.

"Sick?"

It's pronounced psi-ike.

Psychic Systems International Corp.

"PSIC".

It turns out certain people had

heard about the New Earth Army.

They were very interested in some

of the work we were doing back then.

They got a hold on me,

I got a hold on Bill.

Bill works for you?

Bill's looking into

subliminal messaging.

This is the one we've designed...

...to play to our own troops

before going into combat.

Push "play" on that.

There's a subliminal message in this?

This one's called...

"Don't get drunk before

firing heavy machine guns. "

We've got all sorts of new ideas

and development.

Give them one of our new ideas.

- Air bag mine?

- Air bag mine.

Non-lethal.

Catapults the f***er right into the air.

Gimme another one.

Blast target with pheromones and

then release attack bees.

Excellent. Attack bees.

The forces of nature!

- Another.

- Project Achilles.

- We mutilate enemy corpses...

- We're not doing that anymore! You idiot!

The point is... we've got a budget,

we've got supporters.

I'm rebuilding the New Earth Army.

Only this time without

all that hippie crap.

- How you're doing there, Bill?

- Gonna get some ice-cream.

You get the occasional flash of

what he used to be but...

...he's pretty burnt out

on the booze.

Still, he's the best.

Oh, twizzlers.

- You want one?

- No.

God, I love these things.

What? What is it?

It's the Dark Side.

Lyn, what you're gonna do?

It's too late...

- I'm dying, Bob.

- No, you're not gonna die.

I don't believe

you can be killed by...

- by mail order, Dim Sum, or...

- Dim Mak.

Dim Mak. Whatever.

You can't just be tapped in the shoulder

It's cancer.

What?

All I know it's the Dim Mak

that caused it.

It's cancer.

At least that's what the doctors said.

It's different ways

of looking at...

Different names for a reality.

Give that to Bill.

I don't deserve it.

Take it.

It wasn't the Dim Mak

that was killing Lyn.

And it wasn't the cancer.

He was dying of a broken heart.

And maybe, the cancer as well.

His mission had failed.

And failure was something

I knew too much about.

Bill?

Lyn told me he didn't deserve

this eagle feather.

He wanted me to

give it back to you.

- It's fake.

- What?

Twenty thousand dollar fine

for taking an eagle feather.

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