The Mighty Ducks Page #2

to keep you warm, buddy.

- Oh, yeah, that's nice.

- Oh, yeah, look !

[ Peter ]

l can't believe he ate the can too.

[ Averman ]

He sniffs.

He sniffs again.

Looking for that perfect place.

[ Averman ]

He sniffs some more. He stops.

l think this is it !

He's turnin' in a circle.

- He squats ! He scores !

- Yes ! We did it !

[ Groaning ]

Full load.

Stinks !

[ Averman ]

Come on, come on, give me the dollar !

- [ Peter ] Hurry it up already.

- l'm hurryin', okay ?

- Go, go, go, go !

- Yeah ! All right ! Let's do it !

Oh, come on. Stop !

- Yes !

- Okay ! Here we go.

Yeah. There's more inside.

[ Karp ]

He's takin' off with it.

This guy deserves what he gets.

- [ Tyres squealing ]

- [ Screaming ]

[ Laughing ]

Oh, guys, he saw us.

Oh, my !

[ Groaning ]

[ Cheering ]

Rink's gotta be

around here someplace.

Just look for a sign

that says ''Personal Hell.''

How could he do this to me ?

l hate kids. They're barely human.

[ lndistinct chatter ]

Come on ! Over here !

Keep it down, please !

Hey, come on.

There's no need for this.

Let's talk, come on.

l'm your friend, aren't l ?

Come on, Goldberg, at least try to

stop it. l'm tired of chasin' the puck.

Be careful, man.

lt almost hit me that time.

Goldberg, you're the goalie.

lt's supposed to hit you.

Does that sound stupid

to anyone else ?

Good God.

That's the hockey team.

Drive out on the ice.

lt'll be all right.

[ lndistinct chatter ]

l ain't scared.

- You don't know what you're doin'.

- Shut your face, Karp.

[ Peter ]

We're gonna get in big trouble.

- l'll take care of it.

- They're drugs, l just know it.

Yo, dude.

You obviously in the wrong hood.

This is my dominion. This is

a drug-free zone, you understand ?

We ain't buyin' nothin'.

l'm feelin' generous today.

So l'm gonna let you get your

sorry vanilla bootie outta here...

before we be usin'

your eyeballs as hockey pucks.

Thanks, bro, but l'm not goin' home

'til l take care of business.

He's got a gun.

Stand back.

Whew !

District Five Pee Wee hockey team.

l'm Gordon Bombay.

l'm the new coach.

[ Laughing ]

What a joke !

- Yeah, right.

- Afraid so, dude.

Got the roster right here.

Averman, Dave.

Conway, Charlie.

Hall, Terry.

Here's the long and the short of it.

l hate hockey and l don't like kids.

What's this supposed to be,

a pep talk ?

l'm sure this'll be

a real bonding experience.

Maybe one day one of you

will even write a book about it in jail.

- Funny.

- ls there a goalie ?

Only for a little while.

l'm movin' back to Philly.

- Thank you for sharing that.

- No problem.

All right, get out on the ice.

Let me see what you can do.

Uh, just so you know.

We really suck.

l'll decide

who sucks around here.

- Get off me.

- They really suck.

The Pete-meister.

Mr Rabble-rouser.

Passing the puck

over to Jesse-roonie, the enforcer.

- [ Grunt ]

- Ouch !

That hurt !

Oh, it's the Connie-meister,

the velvet hammer.

Hi, coach. l'm Connie.

- Do you play ?

- No. So what's our record anyway ?

We only lost by five.

We almost scored a goal too.

So what do we do now... coach ?

- What did your old coach have you do ?

- He just yelled a lot.

- That's how he hurt his arm.

- His arm ?

Yeah, one minute he's yelling

at us, ''Little bastards,

where'd you learn to play ?

Oh, you suck, you !

Skate, you little bast--'' [ Gasping ]

Heart attack. Great.

All right, look.

l gotta make a phone call.

Keep scrimmaging. You, you, you,

you and you against you four.

- We got names, you know ?

- l'm sure you do.

And l'll bet they're very nice names.

l might even learn 'em.

For now, l'll be in my office.

Oh, and if you

need anything, fax me.

Geez, what a jerk.

Where do they find

these coaches anyways ?

We're impressionable kids, right ?

Shouldn't we check

his qualifications or somethin' ?

Jeannie, who told you

not to give me my messages ?

Ducksworth !

Then who's handling my cases ?

- On three !

- Jane !

- One, two, three ! Charge !

- Are you kidding me ?

She's outta law school one year.

She's not qualified to --

Hold on a second !

- [ Kids shouting ]

- Hey! Get your mouth off the windows!

- Hey !

- Get off there !

- [ Shouting ]

- Get off the car !

- We're being invaded !

- Get off !

- Get off the roof, you little monkey.

- Oh, cool !

- ls that a real phone ?

- Yes, and l'm really on it.

- Not any more.

- Thank you.

- Let's see, who should l --

- Watch the upholstery.

[ lndistinct chatter ]

- Don't touch that.

- We wanna ride !

[ Chanting ]

We wanna ride ! We wanna ride !

- We wanna ride !

- l could kill one of 'em

just to set an example.

Not yet, Lewis.

Take 'em for a spin, anything !

[ Cheering ]

This looks good.

l'm gonna eat it.

- Wow, l feel like Madonna.

- You wish !

Seats ten comfortably.

- Hey, pass me one of those glasses.

- [ Growling ]

- Yeah, l see your point.

- [ Sniffing ]

Oh.

- [ Sniffing ]

- [ Together ] Goldberg !

- lt wasn't me, all right !

- Young man, what did you eat ?

- Nothing ! lt wasn't me !

- Open a window !

Oh, man ! lt's my mom !

- She looks pissed.

- Oh, man.

All right, out !

Everybody, out of the car right now.

Goldberg, why'd you

have to ruin the fun ?

Are you out of your mind ? What were you

thinking putting that car on the ice ?

- My son was in that car.

- Lady, lady, relax.

One crack in the ice.

That's all it would take. One crack !

- The ice is not gonna crack.

- Who do you think you are ?

- l'm Gordon Bombay,

the new hockey coach.

- The new coach ?

They send you over here to coach

the team and you endanger their lives.

What danger ? l grew up on the ice;

l know when it's safe to drive on.

- How do you know ?

- l just know ! All right ?

Well, listen, Mr Zen Master, you may be

in tune with the ice universe,

but when it comes to my kid,

''l just know'' doesn't cut it.

Charlie, let's go.

- Mom ?

- Give me my candy ! All of it !

Well, l guess practise is over.

- Sorry my mom ruined it, guys.

- lt's all right, Charlie.

Coach, gonna be

at the game tomorrow ?

By order of the state

of Minnesota, yeah.

[ Chanting ]

Hawks ! Hawks ! Hawks !

Hawks ! Hawks ! Hawks !

Hawks ! Hawks ! Hawks !

Hawks ! Hawks ! Hawks !

One, two, three, four, five !

One, two, three, four, five !

- One, two, three, four, five !

- [ Whistle blowing ]

- Hi, girls.

- Karp ! No !

Goodbye.

The hawks. My first game

and it had to be the Hawks.

Gordon ? Gordon Bombay.

- Coach Reilly.

- We're both adults now.

Why don't you

just call me Jack ?

Hey, come back

to see your old coach, huh ?

Well, actually l'm, uh,

coaching... Pee Wee.

- District Five team.

- No kiddin'. You got a kid

on the team or something ?

No, l'm here because l need

to be of service to the community.

How about this, huh ? Whoever thought

we'd be coachin' against each other ?

Yeah, who'd have thought ?

So, who's your hotshot

player this year ?

- Anyone good ?

- l got a kid named Banks.

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