The Mikado Page #3

# Let us be each other's own #

# I would merge all rank and station #

# Worldly sneers are naught to us #

# And to mark my admiration #

# I would kiss you fondly thus #

- # I would kiss you fondly thus #

- # He would kiss me fondly thus #

# But as I'm engaged to Ko-Ko

To embrace you thus, con fuoco #

# Would distinctly be no gioco #

# And for yam I should get toco #

# So, in spite of all temptation #

# Such a theme I'll not discuss #

# And on no consideration #

# Will I kiss you #

# Fondly thus #

# Will I kiss you #

# Fondly thus #

# Let me make it clear to you #

# This is what I'll never do #

# This, oh, this #

# Oh, this

Oh, this #

# This is what I'll never, never do #

# This, oh, this

Oh, this, oh, this #

# This #

- # Is what I'll never do #

- # You'll never do #

- # I'll never do #

- # You'll never do #

# Oh, this #

# This #

# Is what I'll never #

# Never do ##

I am the bearer of a letter

from His Majesty, the Mikado.

A letter from the Mikado?

What in the world

can he have to say to me?

Ah, here it is at last.

I thought it would come

sooner or late - later.

The Mikado is struck by the fact...

that no executions have taken

place in Titipu for a year.

And he decrees that unless someone

is beheaded within one month...

the post of Lord High Executioner

shall be abolished!

And the city reduced

to the rank of a village!

There's no help for it.

I shall have to execute

somebody at once.

The only question is,

who shall it be?

Well, it seems unkind to say so...

but as you're already under

sentence of death for flirting...

everything seems to point to you.

To - To me? Wh-What are you talking

about? I can't execute myself.

Why not?

I don't see how a man can

cut off his own head.

A man might try.

If he only succeeded

in cutting it half off -

that would be something.

No. Pardon me, but

there I am adamant.

I am afraid that unless

you can obtain a substitute -

A substitute?

Nothing easier.

Pooh-Bah, I appoint you

lord high substitute.

I should be delighted.

Such an appointment would

realize my fondest dreams!

But, no, at any sacrifice...

I must set bounds

to my insatiable ambition.

# I am so proud

if I allowed #

# My family pride

to be my guide #

# I'd volunteer

to quit this sphere #

# Instead of you

in a minute or two #

# But family pride

must be denied #

# And set aside

and mortified #

# And mortified #

# My brain, it teems

with endless schemes #

# Both good and new

for Titipu, for Titipu #

# But if I flit the benefit that

I'd diffuse the town would lose #

# Now every man to aid his clan

should plot and plan as best he can #

# I heard one day

a gentleman say #

# That criminals who

are cut in two #

# Can hardly feel

the fatal steel #

# And so are slain

are slain without much pain #

# If this is true

it's jolly for you #

# Your courage screw

to bid us adieu #

- # I am so proud #

- # My brain, it teems #

- # If I allowed my family pride #

- # I heard one day a gentleman say #

- # To be my guide #

- # For Titipu, for Titipu #

- # If I flit the benefit that I'd

diffuse the town would lose #

# Now every man to aid his clan

should plot and plan as best he can #

# And so although

I'm ready to go #

# Yet recollect 'twere disrespect

did I neglect to thus effect #

# This aim direct

so I object #

# And so although

I wish to go #

# And greatly pine to brightly shine

and take the line of a hero fine #

# With grief condign

I must decline #

# And go and show

both friend and foe #

# How much you dare

I'm quite aware #

# It's your affair

yet I declare #

# I'd take your share

but I don't much care #

- # I must #

- # So I object #

- # I'd take your share but I don't

much care # - # So I object #

- # I must #

- # So I object #

- # I must decline #- # So I

object, so I object, so I object #

# To sit in solemn silence

in a dull, dark dock #

# In a pestilential prison

with a lifelong lock #

# Awaiting the sensation

of a short, sharp shock #

# From a cheap and chippy chopper

on a big black block #

# To sit in solemn silence

in a dull, dark dock #

# In a pestilential prison

with a lifelong lock #

# Awaiting the sensation

of a short, sharp shock #

# From a cheap and chippy chopper

on a big black block #

# A dull, dark dock

A lifelong lock #

# A short, sharp shock

A big black block #

# To sit in solemn silence

in a pestilential prison #

# And awaiting the sensation

from a cheap and chippy chopper #

# On a big #

# Black #

# Block ##

##

##

##

This is simply appalling!

Is this public gratitude?

What are you going to do

with that rope?

I'm about to terminate

an unendurable existence.

Terminate your existence?

Nonsense!

What for?

Because you're going to marry

the girl I adore.

Nonsense, sir.

I won't permit it.

I am a humane man, and if you

attempt anything of the kind...

I shall order your instant arrest.

Come, sir. Desist at once,

or I summon my guard.

That's absurd. If you attempt

to raise an alarm...

I instantly perform the happy

dispatch with this dagger.

No, no! Don't do that!

Why, this is horrible.

You cold-blooded scoundrel.

Are you aware that in taking your

life you're committing a crime?

Committing a crime which -

which -

The substitute!

What's the matter?

Is it absolutely certain

that you're resolved to die?

Absolutely.

- Will nothing shake your

resolution? - Nothing.

Then, if you really

mean what you say,

...don't spoil yourself

by committing suicide...

but be beheaded handsomely at

the hands of the public executioner.

- I don't see how that would

benefit me. - You don't?

Observe.

You'll have a month to live, and you'll

live like a fighting cock at my expense.

When the day comes, there'll

be a grand public ceremonial.

You will be the central figure.

No one will attempt to deprive you

of that distinction.

There'll be a procession,

bands, dead march, bells tolling...

all the girls in tears -

Yum-Yum distracted.

Then, when it's all over,

general rejoicings...

and a display of fireworks

in the evening!

You won't see them, but

they'll be there all the same.

Do you think Yum-Yum will

really be distracted at my death?

I'm convinced of it. Bless you, she's the

most tenderhearted little creature alive.

I should be sorry to cause her pain.

Perhaps, after all,

if I were to withdraw from Japan...

and travel in Europe for a couple of

years, I might contrive to forget her.

Oh, I don't think you could

forget Yum-Yum so easily.

And, after all, what is more

miserable than a love-blighted life?

True.

Life without Yum-Yum.

Why, it seems absurd.

And yet there are a great many people

in the world who have to endure it.

Poor devils, yes! You're quite

right not to be of their number.

I won't be of their number!

Noble fellow!

I'll tell you how we'll manage it.

Let me marry Yum-Yum tomorrow...

and in a month you may behead me.

No. No. I draw the line at Yum-Yum.

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