The Million Dollar Hotel Page #6

No, it had to be Eloise. She was the only one

smart enough. She planned it, she did it...

F*** Skinner!

OK, back off! FBI here.

Enjoy your meals.

Somebody's lying to me.

You, and everybody. I think you know who

it is. So we're gonna play a different game.

If you keep your eyes shut,

I'll presume it's Eloise.

Left eye open, it's Dixie.

Right eye open, it's Geronimo.

Who's it gonna be?

Dixie?

Or Geronimo?

Hi ho... Geronimo.

No! No!

Hey, Eloise.

You amaze me.

You're gonna arrest

some two-bit Indian hustler for murder,

based on the desperate testimony

of this skateboard-riding half-wit.

I knew you'd catch on eventually.

You know...

Everybody trusts him.

Everybody.

Hell, even I almost trust him.

I trust him enough

to shake things up, anyway.

Agent Skinner.

I got your missing person stats.

Geronimo's real name is Eugenio Valdez.

He stole his own file from the State Mental.

He was treated for a personality disorder.

Believes he was Chief of the Navajo Nation.

Three larceny arrests. Art theft.

Sounds like a suspect.

Skinner.

- Maya.

- You said you'd call.

- I did call.

- Sure. A few days later.

- One day late. Yes, I...

- I still don't...

- You are.

- I thought I was important.

Maya, you are the most

important person in my life.

- Look, I'm in a car.

- I could do without this crap.

- I'm sorry you feel that way.

- Is this the man I wanted to marry?

This is who I am.

Can you step on it?

[ All cheering ]

Eugenio Geronimo Valdez, you're under

arrest. Put your hands behind your back.

Izzy had so many thoughts,

he said he had to store them

in my empty head, where they'd be safe.

If only I could let them out again.

How could I explain

that I had betrayed all my friends

and spoiled their only chance

to ever get rich, or ever get anything?

Thank God they still don't know

Geronimo's the real artist.

Never underestimate the power

of a juicy scandal.

We're gonna lose our art dealer. You lose

your dealer, you're nothing all over again.

Damn d*ckhead cop! They give him

a big badge, big money,

just to go around f***ing people up!

Who cares? Let's just have the show.

Let me call my people again.

Why don't we all quietly accept

that we're f***ed?

I mean, Geronimo owns the paintings.

They got him in jail for killing Izzy.

- There's no way.

- There's always a way.

All we have to do is give them

what they want, an easy fix.

If we can prove

that someone else killed Izzy,

then Geronimo is free.

It's not that easy. Once people get

an idea into their heads, they're stuck.

It doesn't matter that I wrote

all those beautiful songs, you know.

They still won't give me the Grammy.

Besides, they're sure

it was someone close to Izzy.

So if it wasn't Geronimo,

it has to be one of us, hasn't it?

If nobody is ready to volunteer, we'll have to find

someone as dumb as Tom Tom to confess.

No!

Not Tom.

Well, it's all about believing,

and if we believe in something,

then that's real, isn't it? And if enough

people believe in the same thing, then...

that's reality.

And now we have something

that they all wanna believe in.

We're back in the game, the reality game.

And bloody hell...

...I like it.

He's gonna be fine, Eloise.

Tom Tom's gonna be fine.

It'll be for a little while,

you understand?

And then they'll get him off.

Retarded insanity or something.

And then, they'll send him off

to some beautiful white mansion

on a green hill, you know,

surrounded by meadows on a cliff,

overlooking the ocean.

He's gonna get

three nice meals a day and...

people in white clothes caring for him.

Now, that's what I call a future.

No.

Eye for an eye, tooth for the truth.

Eye for an eye, tooth for the truth.

What can I say?

It seemed like the right thing to do.

Not the wisest, technically,

but it felt good to help.

Now, first your name.

Of course, the television aspect,

that was a nice plus.

My name is Thomas T. Barrow, and people

call me Tom Tom, but please call me Tom.

Tom.

And today is...

I wanna tell you today's date, please...

And it's...

...the 23rd of March...

2000... 2001.

And Izzy Goldkiss was

my very, very best friend,

and so, maybe it's

a little strange to tell you...

tell you on television...

I want to tell you that...

I went ahead and pushed him

off the roof...

of the Hotel...

Million Dollar, and...

I only did it just by myself

and I have, I have a poem.

A what?

I have a poem that Izzy was

always teaching me, and...

I wanted to read it. Please.

Well, do it fast. Fast.

I knew I might go ahead

and find you at the books... the books.

You're certainly always at the books,

and books and books and more books.

You certainly never read any books

or anything at all.

What do you have to tell me?

What did you wanna ask me?

Can I see your beaver?

Please?

'Cause... Hector said he had heard

that you had a very nice little beaver.

Do you have him?

Tom...

Beavers don't actually...

I got rid of him.

What did you do with him?

I shaved it.

You give me a hard time.

Tom, you know,

if Dixie or any of the others

come and ask you for any...

you know, favours or help

to get Geronimo out of jail...

You're gonna say "no", right?

# So let's go up to the skies...

Do you like TV?

# Watched it for a little while...

# I like to watch things on TV...

# Satellite of love...

# Satellite of love... #

[ TV ] We take you now to Jean Swift,

live in downtown Los Angeles.

At the hotel now,

we'll soon see more of the paintings

and reveal new evidence

that should exonerate

Eugenio Geronimo Valdez,

who's still being held for the murder.

I'm Jean Swift, Channel 6 News.

- Good evening, Million Dollar Hotel.

- I'd like to speak to somebody in charge.

Sure you would,

but they're very busy, and so am I.

- Well, I'm from the limo company.

- Oh, limo.

Send them to the back, so the guests can get in,

and drive around the block and arrive in front.

Wow, it was gonna be a big night

for us and for the hotel.

She finally looked like a million bucks.

"The heart is a sleeping beauty,

And love the only kiss it can't resist.

"Even as eyes lay open wide,

There is a heart that sleeps inside,

"And it's to there you must be hastening,

"For all hearts dream.

"They dream only of awakening".

And Izzy...

he knew all that,

but he went ahead and forgot it.

But I didn't forget, and that's why

I pushed him off the roof.

That's it. We'll be airing this

in exactly 10 minutes.

If you're ready with a response,

we'll be happy to include it.

If you'll excuse me,

I've got a live feed to go to.

This confession is a joke.

Whoever cooked it up

is probably the killer.

The very downtown crowd...

Good luck, everybody.

That's what I've always wanted.

You know, Tom, whatever happens,

I always loved you.

Chief Larson, with your permission, sir,

I'd like to issue an arrest warrant

for Thomas T. Barrow, resident of the Million

Dollar Hotel. Let's have him picked up ASAP.

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