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The Mindy Project
- TV-14
- Year:
- 2012
- 30 min
- 1,399 Views
COLD OPEN:
INT. SOME KIND OF CRAMPED OFFICE - MORNING
A 31-year-old woman, MIRA, in smudged makeup and a crumpled
cocktail dress, sits in a chair. She speaks to someone off
camera who we cannot see.
MIRA:
You have an idea of how your life
is going to work out. When I was a
kid, all I did was watch romantic
comedies in our living room while I
did my homework.
INT. LIVING ROOM OF A INDIAN-AMERICAN FAMILY’S HOUSE - 1988
A 7-year-old Mira does flashcards while she watches the Meg
Ryan diner scene in When Harry Met Sally. An old INDIAN
GRANDMOTHER sleeps in a chair nearby.
SEVEN-YEAR-OLD MIRA
I’ll have what she’s having.
INT. SAME LIVING ROOM AS BEFORE - 1995
A 16-year-old Mira studies with piles of textbooks. She’s now
watching Four Weddings and a Funeral.
HUGH GRANT:
Would you be interested in,
perhaps, spending the rest of your
life not married to me?
ANDIE MCDOWELL MIRA
I do. I do.
MIRA (V.O.)
In college I had less time to watch
movies...
EXT. DORM BUILDING - MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT - 2002
We pan up the side of a brick dorm at Princeton University,
seeing young couples hooking up in different rooms. We land
on the window of a now 20-year-old Mira, sitting on her dorm
room bed, with piles of biology textbooks in front of her,
studying. She’s also watching You’ve Got Mail.
MEG RYAN MIRA:
I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you.
Untitled Mindy Kaling Show Pilot 1/9/12 21/9/12 2.
Mira’s roommate and best friend GWEN, walks into the room and
tosses her a box of Pop Tarts which Mira catches without
looking.
GWEN:
Have you showered this week?
Mira shakes her head solemnly, transfixed by the movie.
MIRA (V.O.)
And then, eventually, I had no time
at all.
INT. MANHATTAN HOSPITAL - NIGHT - 2010
Mira, now 30, an intern at a hospital, in a doctors coat and
scrubs, stands with a group of other eager student-doctors.
MIRA (V.O.)
But romantic comedies had done
their damage.
One is JEREMY REED, 30, super hot and pretty, and total bad
news in a Bradley Cooper kind of way. Another is CLAYTON
BROOKS, 30, not too shabby-looking himself, but serious and
disdainful. To be honest, he’s kind of a dick. These are our
guys.
There are few others, led by a distinguished doctor, MARC
SHULMAN, who has a yarmulke and a Brooklyn accent. He talks
to a PREGNANT PATIENT and her HUSBAND.
DR. SHULMAN
You’re eight and a half months
pregnant, your husband’s gotta keep
his schvantz away from you.
JEREMY:
Which I can imagine is hard with a
wife as beautiful as yours.
The patient enjoys this. Brooks rolls his eyes. Jeremy smiles
at them, and then glances at Mira and winks at her. Mira
reacts:
holy sh*t, did that happen?DR. SHULMAN
She’s already pregnant, Dr. Reed.
(to the couple)
I’m putting Dr. Brooks in charge of
you. He’s my best student.
The students grumble while Brooks steps forward with an
imperious smile.
Untitled Mindy Kaling Show Pilot 1/9/12 3.
BROOKS:
(intense)
Clayton Brooks. I am determined to
give you and your unborn baby the
most focused and unwavering care.
Now it’s Jeremy’s turn to roll his eyes.
MIRA (V.O.)
That’s when I saw him.
We move past Brooks to outside of the room, where we see a
MOST APPEALING GUY, a doctor, reading a newspaper. This guy
looks like he walked out of a Nora Ephron movie. Floppy hair,
dimples, the works.
MIRA:
(to herself)
Hello.
INT. HOSPITAL ELEVATOR - MOMENTS LATER
Mira is in the elevator. The doors begin to close when-
MOST APPEALING GUY
Hold the door!
It’s the guy. He walks into the elevator.
MIRA:
It’s you.
MOST APPEALING GUY
What?
MIRA:
Achoo. Just a cute little sneeze.
What floor?
MOST APPEALING GUY
Same as yours.
He smiles warmly at her, then accidentally drops his thermos
and newspaper. Mira gets down to help him and her folders
slip out of her hands. They start picking up all their stuff.
TOM:
Klutzes? Party of two.
Mira’s hair - tied up in a bun - comes undone. She can’t
believe it.
MIRA (V.O.)
An elevator? Our stuff fell out of
our hands? My hair came undone?
(MORE)
Untitled Mindy Kaling Show Pilot 1/9/12 4.
MIRA (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Holy crap, I’m basically Sandra
Bullock. But then it happened. The
omen. Er, omen sounds bad. What’s a
good omen called? Oh, whatever.
The elevator jerks to a stop and the lights flicker.
MOST APPEALING GUY
Did the elevator just stop?
Mira closes her eyes. It all led up to this. It’s happening.
MIRA:
I’m Mira. Obstetrics and
gynecology.
MOST APPEALING GUY
Tom. Orthodonist.
They shake hands, both somehow aware of what all this means.
MIRA (V.O.)
We were stuck in the elevator
twenty minutes and I moved into his
apartment two months later.
VOICE (V.O.)
(thick Caribbean accent)
Ma’am. What does dis have to do
with you stealing ja bike, driving
ja bike while intoxicated, then
trespassing in ja swimming pool?
INT. POLICE PRECINCT - PRESENT DAY
A un-smiling FEMALE POLICE OFFICER sits across from Mira in a
precinct room. We see Mira has been telling her story here.
MIRA:
Tom got married last night. To
someone else. Some Serbian girl who
sells bagels in the lobby of the
hospital.
We see a beautiful SERBIAN GIRL handing Tom a bagel and
coffee in the lobby of the hospital.
SERBIAN GIRL:
One tall latte vith extra cream no
sugar.
She smiles. She has horrible teeth. Tom smiles back,
enchanted. Off her teeth we dissolve to:
Untitled Mindy Kaling Show Pilot 1/9/12 51/9/12 5.
We now see Serbian girl smiling under a tent at a posh post-
wedding dinner reception. She smiles. Perfect teeth.
MIRA (V.O.)
He dumped me, she moved in, he
fixed her teeth. They got married
last night. I don’t think they
thought I would actually go, so
they invited me. But I did go.
We now see Mira, in her dress, sitting at a table with
various old people and foreigners.
MIRA (V.O.)
I was at the worst table - the
Randoms. You know, where the old
babysitters and childhood pen pals
sit?
Mira and an OLD HIPPIE LADY get wasted and are laughing
loudly.
MIRA (V.O.)
So, me and Tom’s old babysitter
Bernice got wasted together.
BERNICE:
thoughtful girl like you?
MIRA:
He wanted kids.
BERNICE:
You don’t want kids?
MIRA:
No, he wanted kids. Six of ‘em. He
thought I was too old for that.
BERNICE:
Six kids? What is he, in a cult?
(confiding)
He wet the bed until he was 10.
MIRA (V.O.)
And then, I felt like making a
speech.
Mira is now at the microphone.
Untitled Mindy Kaling Show Pilot 1/9/12 6.
MIRA:
Some of you may know Tom and I used
to date. So I have some pretty good
stories of everyone’s favorite
glorified dentist.
People laugh with anticipation, including Tom and the bride.
We see Clayton, Dr. Shulman and his wife, and Jeremy are
there.
MIRA (CONT’D)
Like the time he thought he had
Lyme disease but it turned out to
be a patch of dry skin on his
stomach.
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"The Mindy Project" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 7 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_mindy_project_90>.
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