The Miracle Woman Page #4

---

we're gonna own everything

but next year's wheat crop.

How many times have I told you to lay

off talking business when Sister's around.

I didn't think you'd object

if I was telling her good news.

I object to anybody

telling her anything.

And don't come in here

again without knocking.

What's on your mind?

Well, as your

general sales manager,

I beg to report that since

we've installed a new system

of not taking any filthy money

in the tabernacle,

but giving the saps the high

pressure the next day at home,

I've more than

doubled the take-in.

Yeah? By the time

you get yours,

we don't get any more than we used

to get when we passed the hat around.

It's costing us too much.

Is that so?

Well, you may be working for the Lord,

brother. But I'm working for Bill Welford.

I've got 20 chiselers on my staff, and

I have to split my commission with them.

You may think I'm getting too much,

but I don't think 20 percent is enough.

You're crazy.

You seem to forget we're collecting

that money to build a tabernacle.

I know, I know,

that's what I tell them too.

The trouble with you, Welford,

is you're too mercenary.

Now, come on over to my joint

and meet some carnival cuties.

They'll make you forget

all about money.

WELFORD:

Oh, is that so?

They'll never make

you forget about it.

Sister?

"Sister"?

I'm sorry.

Oh, my goodness.

Lew! Lew!

Could you help

a lady in distress?

My car is parked across the street,

and my chauffeur's asleep.

I wonder if you'd be good

enough to run over there

and ask him

to drive up here.

Why, l...

Here, do you mind?

I'm sorry, I...

Oh, all right. Don't bother.

Lew!

Sure, I'd be glad to.

Please.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Forgive me. You see,

I didn't recognize you.

Here, you must let

me give you a lift.

Oh, no. Please don't bother.

Ill be all right,

there's a bus on the corner.

No, now, you wait right here,

and Ill be back. Now, wait.

Lew! Lew!

Yes.

You see that man

walking down the street?

Yes, ma'am.

Pull up ahead of him.

Right there.

Taxi, mister?

I'm all right, thanks.

The rain won't hurt me.

Neither will I. Come on.

FLORENCE:
Hey, wait for me. Wooh!

That's as near as I can get

to Sir Walter Raleigh.

Well, the hat is a bit large.

Riding with you

gave me a swelled head.

Thank you.

Wait for me, Lew!

I better take...

I better take you

back to the car.

Well, if you do, Ill only have

to bring you back here again.

Oh, I've been trouble enough.

Listen, Sir Walter Raleigh wouldn't

leave a woman out in the rain

on a night like this, would he?

Well, it's four flights up.

The elevator isn't running.

You know something?

I never use elevators.

They make me terribly dizzy.

Come on.

Here it is. Running water, steam heat.

On a fine day, you can

see clear across the alley.

FLORENCE:
May I take off your

hat and look across the alley?

Oh, but all kidding aside, I know

I'm keeping you from going someplace.

You told me yourself

you were all dressed up.

Oh, I am, but I haven't

anyplace to go.

Absolutely?

Positively, Mr. Shean.

Hey, you're terribly anxious

to get rid of me, aren't you?

I must be an awful bore.

Oh, no, no. Do stay. Sit down.

Ill make you a cup of tea.

Let me take off your coat.

I should say,

let me take off my coat.

Oh, excuse me. I might

give you a little light.

Oh, how will you have

your tea? With lemon or...

lemon?

Lemon, please.

[CLOCK CHIMES]

Well, the kettle's on.

That's good.

What'll I do now?

I'm sort of rusty at

entertaining, especially ladies.

Outside of Mrs. Higgins, you're

the only woman that's come up here.

And who's Mrs. Higgins?

Oh...

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

It's me, Mrs. Higgins.

Oh, excuse me.

Oh, I didn't know you had company.

Ill be leaving in a minute.

Mrs. Higgins,

this is Sister Fallon.

Oh, sure.

And I suppose you're Saint John,

and I'm Martha Washington.

Say, you do look

like Sister, for a fact.

But I happen to know Sister's

voice as well as her face.

So speak up, and Ill tell you

if you're Sister or not.

Mrs. Higgins...

Go on, say a few words.

Eenie, meenie, minie, mo.

Land's sakes!

You are Sister Fallon.

Oh, and me being

so fresh and all.

But I'm so used to seeing you

in flowing white robes.

Why didn't you tell me

she was Sister?

Still waters run deep,

I always say.

Oh, gracious, I was that excited

I nearly forgot what I came up for.

There's a package for you.

Ill open it.

For land's sake!

Whatever is it?

Oh, what did you have

to bring that up now for?

It's me, Mrs. Higgins.

Yes, but what's it for?

JOHN:
Nothing. Someone gave it to me.

Perhaps it'll come

in handy as a chaperon.

Chaperon?

Oh, two's company and

three's a crowd, I always say.

Good night, Sister.

Good night.

Good night, Mr. John.

Good night.

You mustn't mind her.

Why don't you come

and sit down here by the fire.

I want you to know I don't approve

of their selling that clay thing.

What made you get it, anyway?

Well, I wanted to know

what you look like.

Yes, but how could you...?

Oh.

You used to be an aviator,

didn't you?

Oh, well,

that was so long ago, I really

don't remember much about it.

What'll we do now?

Who plays the piano?

Well, I do, when no one's around.

Say, would you like to hear

some real good music?

I'd love to.

Allow me to present

my two friends:

Pagliacci the clown,

and Sambo the hoofer.

Now, what would you like to hear?

Ballads, songs, symphonies?

Oh...

Oh, I guess a bit of opera.

Opera. Very well.

Laugh, clown, laugh.

[PLAYING "THE FARMER

IN THE DELL"]

Isn't that cute?

[SINGING]

Can't you sing it?

[BOTH SINGING]

[JOHN LAUGHING]

Come on, sing.

[SINGING]

[FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING

AND PEOPLE SINGING]

Tabernacle doesn't answer,

Mr. Hornsby.

Well, phone her apartment again and

keep phoning it till you get her.

[JOHN AND FLORENCE LAUGHING]

Please don't make me

laugh anymore. I'm sick now.

Why, you haven't seen anything

yet. Here, take a card.

It's the ace of spades.

Uh-huh.

Put it back in the middle.

Is it in the middle?

Yes.

Take the top card.

Well, how in the world...?

[LAUGHING]

Oh, you faker, they're all the ace

of spades. I want my money back.

Write me a letter about it.

Oh, I can read it, all right. But

you've gotta write it with scissors.

Scissors?

Yeah.

I told you the hand was quicker

than the eye, didn't I? Look.

You know what this is?

It looks like King Tut's will.

It's called Braille.

It's kind of like a Morse code,

only the dots are raised,

and you read it with

your fingers. Watch.

A book of verses

underneath the bough

Here, you try it.

A loaf of bread, a jug of wine

And thou beside me

Oh, you faker. You're not

reading, you're remembering.

Yes, but I could learn it.

It's just like shorthand.

You know, my father dictated

all his sermons to me.

Oh, is your father

a minister too?

Yes.

Gee, he must be

mighty proud of you.

Have...?

Have you any folks?

Not a soul.

Don't you get lonesome,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes