The Mirror Has Two Faces Page #4

as a man-made cultural creation -

- and expand it to include the

biological effect on the individual.

You need a hobby.

I can't believe you've dated

for three months and haven't kissed!

I can't believe you've dated

for three months and haven't kissed!

- How do you say hello?

- Well, we nod. It works.

- You mean you haven't even touched?

- I fell once, and he picked me up.

We talk a lot. That's what we do.

And I don't worry about what I say,

what I wear, what I eat ...

It's a relief to eat with a man, and

not worry that he'll be frightened.

He's fun to be with. Maybe "fun"

isn't the word. He's interesting.

How many men can you say that about?

Is a tie too personal a gift?

Are you using it

on something other than his neck?

Does he look good in vests? Why do

you want him to meet your mother?

I kept saying I was a great cook,

so I offered him a birthday dinner.

Now I need something nice. After

meeting her, I won't see him again.

- I'm starving. Can we eat?

- I can't, I have a date.

- Find a gift for Dr. Strangelove.

- Who? We should get you some blush.

- I'm hungry, Claire.

- Fruit.

Why are you so grumpy?

If he wasn't gorgeous, rich and

straight, I wouldn't have bothered.

I'm sick to death of the man

I am bound to for eternity.

Why are you saying that?

No matter where I go, what I do,

there he is.

In the kitchen,

on the phone, on my finger.

I was asleep the other night.

When I wake up, he's staring at me.

- I think that's sweet.

- I think it's strange.

Do you know

how weird that makes me feel?

A lesbian dream, and he's staring

at me like I should include him.

I can't even fantasize in private.

Mom said you've been seeing

someone steady. Is he cute?

- What?

- What are you doing here?

I thought I'd meet you for coffee.

Is that a terrible thing to do?

Excuse me. I'm going

to the ladies' room. Alone.

Can you believe this weather? It's

almost April and it's still cold.

I'm glad I have you alone.

Can I ask you a question?

Lt'll sound strange, but ...

Is Claire happy?

I mean, do you think she's happy?

Yes, I think she is.

Why?

I'm being silly.

I'm a first-time husband.

If she doesn't wake up

and tell me she's ecstatic, I worry.

Imagine, I have you to thank

for the fact that we're married.

You made this possible.

Knowing you has changed my life.

- Don't do that.

- What? What am I doing?

You don't even know, do you?

Rose ...

- Just tell Claire I had to run.

- Rose, I'm sorry.

I really thought I was over him.

I hate this. It's so stupid.

I must sound so pathetic.

He asked if Claire was happy,

and I lied.

- Isn't that awful?

- Nothing criminal.

- Thanks for coming so quickly.

- Are you feeling better now?

A little.

- You know, Rose, it takes time.

- Yeah, I know.

I want you to know our friendship

really means a lot to me.

I feel the same way,

which is why tonight ...

I better go home, I have to get

dinner ready. I'll see you at eight.

Shall I bring anything

for your mother?

Yeah, a wooden stake

and a crucifix.

Rose loves to fold napkins.

It's one of her idiosyncracies.

I came home late and threw this on.

God knows how I look.

- I hope you like it.

- My God, Rose, it's art!

It's not art.

An artist isn't only one who paints.

It's one who sets the table, -

- prepares a meal, or teaches

in a certain way. You're an artist.

Why didn't you use the Limoges?

May I serve you?

- Rose!

- My hands are clean.

We go to all this trouble,

and Rose and I don't eat very much.

I've always thought

she had a very healthy appetite.

I can't stand women who eat

two bites and say they're full.

Do you really need extra salt?

You know how it retains water.

- Can I have some? And potatoes.

- You don't need them.

Have you ever sat in

on one of your daughter's lectures?

- Rose!

- That's the best part.

Rose tells me

you've never been married.

That's all right, Rose.

That's true, Mrs. Morgan. I guess

I haven't found the right girl.

I've had relationships that haven't

worked out, but that will change.

Really? Why?

As I told Rose,

I have a theory about love ...

- And sex.

- Does anybody want coffee?

- What theory?

- Regular or decaf?

- Regular.

- I can make cappuccinos.

Would you like cappuccinos?

Greg, why don't you help me.

- Why don't you put the coffee on?

- I made dinner. You put it on.

I've raised two daughters, buried

a husband, I've made my coffee.

Alone at last.

- I've heard a lot about you.

- And I've heard a lot about you.

You've been seeing a lot

of my daughter.

I hope you don't mind my asking ...

What are your intentions?

My intentions?

What a lovely meal!

You're a good cook.

- I didn't oversell myself?

- Not at all, but the trouble ...

Of course I had to go to

the trouble. It was your birthday.

What are friends for, but to give

each other presents and stuff ...

Happy birthday.

Open it up!

I really hope you like it.

- Dice?

- They once were dice.

- Now they're cuff links with ...

- Prime numbers!

- They're great! How'd you do that?

- I had them made just for you.

- They were done very fast.

- Thank you.

Well ...

I've wanted to ask you something,

and I can only say this once ...

Sit down.

We have a lot in common. Some

variables will remain unknown, -

- as is the case

with most complex equations ...

- Greg, talk to me.

- I'm not saying this right.

This feeling you have for Alex ...

It won't be the same with me.

You won't have that ache in your

stomach, because we're not in love.

I think we share

a genuine affection for each other.

We share a passion for knowledge

rather than a physical passion.

Although, if sex is something

that interests you, -

- I'm sure I could provide that on

occasion, given enough warning.

- What are you saying?

- We were in love and miserable.

It's a waste,

because as people, we're valuable.

When I look at you, I see a woman

unlike any other I've known before.

Your mind, your humour, your passion

for ideas. I'm very fond of you.

When I'm with you, I feel as if ...

... as if I'm home.

So I think we should get married.

People marry for sex or beauty. Are

my reasons more insane than those?

Are you in shock, or just appalled?

Blink if you can hear me.

Why are you laughing?

I'm sorry. This sounds silly,

but I was just thinking ...

How could I marry someone

that I've never even ...

You know ...

... kissed.

There's one thing I have to say.

I promised your sister I wouldn't.

You love Claire, too?

You just slept with her?

- You want to?

- I don't even know her.

It's about how I found you.

I wrote this ad ...

I think that's kind of great.

- I thought you'd be upset.

- Why? You picked me.

Actually, I found you through this

charming woman on TV ...

Well, well, well ...

So?

Gregory just proposed to me.

Do you need a valium?

I know you don't respect my opinion,

but I don't trust him.

- I mean, where's the attraction?

- He's not attracted to me.

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