The Mirror Has Two Faces Page #5

He doesn't want sex.

He wants to be companions.

What sane person would agree to that

kind of marriage? It's not natural.

Are Claire and Alex natural?

He wants me, Mother!

He wants you to cook and clean!

- He found you through an ad.

- I already know, Mom. Sorry.

It's not your average proposal,

but let's face it, -

- they're not standing in line

for me. And we like each other!

Then say yes!

I can live alone.

If you think such a marriage

is normal, then go ahead.

Why do you do that? Why do you

make it sound so pathetic?

You had a life. A husband who adored

you. Can't I have some of that?

I'm getting older, too.

Why can't you be happy for me?

But you can't, can you?

You're scared to death of

being alone. And you're jealous.

Jealous because a man wants me.

A good-looking man. How ridiculous!

Well, you know something, Mom?

A man does.

Today, Gregory Larkin and Rose

Morgan have exchanged rings -

- and agreed to recognise each other

as equals.

They shall seek a life of

kindness and understanding.

The ceremony of marriage

is a means of establishing a home.

And as you have exchanged vows

before witnesses, -

- by the authority vested in me,

I pronounce you husband and wife.

- Congratulations! She's a great ...

- Yes. I've heard so much about you.

- Likewise, about you.

- We all ought to ...

Had I known you were this handsome,

I'd have answered the ad myself.

Congratulations. She's the best. If

I were a man, I'd be all over her.

Congratulations. I'm sure you'll

both be very fascinating to watch.

Rose, isn't it amazing how many

books you accumulate over the years?

- I know what you mean.

- I can't believe it. And the dust!

- This place needs a good cleaning.

- We'll take care of that.

I made room for your books.

Need any help?

Everything's put in its place.

- What would you like to do?

- Go to bed.

To sleep ... In order to sleep.

You go to the bed for sleeping.

- Do you want to do something else?

- What?

- I wasn't going to say anything.

- Do you want the bathroom first?

- No, I can wait.

- No, you go. Please.

Your turn.

- Tired?

- Not really.

Me neither.

These are nice.

- You want to watch some TV?

- Sure. I have some old movies.

"It Happened One Night", "Lawrence

of Arabia", "Now, Voyager"?

How about "Lawrence of Arabia"?

It's nice and long.

Okay. "Lawrence of Arabia" it is.

Just stick it in.

- Is it over?

- Yeah. Go to sleep.

Are you just looking or buying?

- I'm not sure yet.

- So, it it seems to be going well.

- Have you ...?

- No, and it's made no difference.

- I give you both a lot of credit.

- Credit for what?

I was just telling Henry

how sex isn't an issue for us.

It's much less complicated this way,

not to mention sanitary.

It feels so good to be writing

again. I have so many ideas!

It's coming so easily.

I have outlines for three chapters.

What a terrific idea to come here.

I've never written in the park.

Another one of these ...

Is that Barry?

I think it is.

Barry ...

- Hi. It's Rose.

- How are you? This is Gloria.

- This is my husband, Gregory.

- Hi. This is Gloria.

- You got married. Congratulations.

- Thank you. You look good, Barry.

- Being engaged agrees with me.

- Congratulations!

- Finally, one who doesn't cancel.

- Excuse me. Nice to meet you.

- I'm really happy for you both.

- Thank you, Rose. And take care.

- Everything okay?

- Yeah, everything's okay.

What?

Jeans and a T-shirt is a good look

for you. Wear it to class sometime.

- I'd love to get the scores.

- I'll read the paper.

Oh, I didn't tell you ...

A few European universities have

invited me to lecture on my book.

I told them, of course, that I

wanted to check with you first.

- Sounds great. For how long?

- Three months.

Three months?

- All right, guys, let's get going.

- How can baseball fascinate people?

You wind up

at the same place you started.

This should interest you, because

it's about stats and averages.

When a player comes up, they flash

a three-digit number, his average.

How many times he hits the ball,

in ratio to the number of attempts.

Anybody see the game yesterday?

Marrakesh, what a bum, huh?

Let me try

putting this another way.

If a batter hits a ball, how can we

determine how far it will go?

What variables add up to a home run,

assuming the bum could hit one?

- The velocity of the ball?

- I have a question.

Does a rising fastball really rise?

I don't know.

I'll have to ask my wife.

I could not believe it. Suddenly

the room was filled with energy.

We were exchanging ideas.

We were connected somehow.

They participated,

they questioned, they stayed!

I cannot thank you enough. I was

a better teacher because of you.

- Fresh pepper?

- Not for her, but I'll have some.

Could you bring her a side dish of

dressing? She likes a little extra.

I feel I should return the favour.

Is there anything I can do for you?

I'll have to think about that.

Just glop it on.

Enjoy your dinner.

- You're not eating.

- No, I'm watching your ritual.

I just about got your sequence now.

You start by rotating the plate

counterclockwise ...

...cut on the diagonal ...

remove unwanted elements ...

And now comes my favourite part:

The loading of the fork.

It's fascinating, the percentages

you use of different vegetables, -

- to create that one

harmoniously-balanced, perfect bite.

You have a little ...

Don't smear it.

That might stain. You might want to

put a little soap on that.

I'll be right back.

I want to ask you something.

- Don't stop.

- I'm not a machine.

We both have overwhelming feelings

for each other, don't we?

- You're doing great. Keep it up.

- Okay. Ready?

- Doesn't that music infuriate you?

- Yeah, I'm livid.

I came by your office today

for lunch, but you weren't there.

- Were you at a staff meeting?

- I had lunch with Henry.

Rose, he's a friend of mine,

but you have to watch out for him.

- Believe me, I'm not his type.

- He can't always control himself.

- Did you pull something?

- I think so. Right here.

A little lower.

Lower.

Closer to the spine. There.

Lean back.

I thought you might like to meet me

in Europe after your classes end.

- We never had a honeymoon.

- That's right. I'd love that.

Would you?

- Am I pressing too hard?

- No, but I'm all sweaty.

And I have to floss.

When you've got to floss,

you've got to floss.

I don't know how to ask for it.

We're so polite, I feel like we're

room-mates in a charm school.

- I'm putting you on the speaker.

- I'm so frustrated, Claire.

- Give him an "I want sex" look.

- He'll think something's in my eye.

- You have to generate heat.

- Sometimes, I swear he feels it.

Men aren't that bright. It's easy.

Be subtle, mysterious, seductive.

Subtle, mysterious, seductive? Why

don't men come with instructions?

- More coffee?

- Thanks. My tickets just arrived.

My first lecture is in Paris,

on the 24th. I leave Saturday.

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