The Missouri Breaks Page #3

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Nope.

And I don't do

your wire-ripped shirts neither.

There you go.

Si, you're beginnin' to sound

like a real old lady.

What do you say

we just jump this pissant seamstress?

You guys are soon gonna learn

to treat me nice.

- Yahoo!

- Whoa! Watch it!

Come on! I'll kill ya.

Everybody's so scared of the Mounties

that nobody even tries.

The horses are hardly guarded.

- You talkin' to me about Canada again?

- You're goddamn right I am.

Them Mounties scares me, Cal.

Hell, they scare everybody.

That's why it'll be so easy.

The Indians won't touch them horses.

We can take all 60 of them ponies

at a walk.

All Canadian government brand?

Until we can get 'em to the breaks for

modification, and then down here to relay.

That doesn't quite

settle it though, does it?

No, it don't.

Someone's gonna have to stay here.

Well, it isn't gonna be me.

It's gotta be one of the two of us,

and I'll tell you one thing.

You had all the fun on that train

while I baby-sat these savages.

I'm going to Canada for sure.

That's settled. That's it.

I gotta stay on this

goddamn piece of ground.

Goddamn! I can't even believe this!

That is pitiful.

You a**holes will just get lost.

- He was the best foreman.

- He was the only foreman I ever had.

- Pete Marker was a hard man.

- He surely was, David.

He could break a horse better than

the bronc fighters. He could do every job.

He was a great ramrod.

He personified the American West

in the days of its rowdy youth.

- Sure did.

- Excuse me.

- Lee Clayton.

- Oh, my God, you gave me a scare.

- All I could see was your horse.

- That was all you were meant to see.

Is the owner about?

Who may I say is calling?

Lee Clayton. I just said that.

I have a short memory.

Well, I'll tell Daddy that you're here,

and then I can get back

to what I was doing before.

Tell him Lee Clayton from Medicine Hat,

Wyoming. Here on business.

- You got it?

- Yes.

- Come in. I've been expecting you.

- Oh, sir.

I don't know why it would not

have tired me more than it did,

to have travelled all this distance

without more than a catnap.

You've a wonderful set of books here, sir.

- Yes, I have.

- Truly, truly beautiful.

I don't spend the time with them I should.

I'm of the opinion... I would only claim

books that was about right from wrong.

Otherwise how are we to find

our paradise among the stars?

True. Please.

Oh, sir. I'm sorry for your trouble.

I wasn't aware.

Gentlemen, Robert E Lee Clayton.

I understand that you hung a thief

and neglected to find out where they were

caching the stock. How was that?

He didn't wanna talk. He was about to die.

Oh, I see. Then you pampered him.

- No, sir!

- We hung that man.

Well, you pampered the man...

you pampered the man,

and the result of that

is the loss of this poor man's life!

- Please, this is outrageous.

- You, you, you...

Take your hands off!

Realise the fact that as a result of that

this poor man has lost his life.

If you'd invited me into the neighbourhood

before, it wouldn't have happened.

You've got to give me some thoughts.

I'm gonna turn my horse out.

Then I'll wash my body.

And, miss...

the only thing not on my diet

would be the green top of the beet

and okra.

Ladies and gentlemen, excuse me,

but I'm under a severe attack from a tooth.

Sir. Miss.

- Where'd he come from?

- What was all that about?

I got recommendations for this man from

all the Wyoming outfits he's worked for.

- I'm assured that he's a top regulator.

- Regulator?

- You mean you asked him up here?

- You're damn right I did.

They killed my ramrod

and I want them to pay for it.

I always wondered

what Lee Clayton looked like.

And smelled like.

I always figured him to be a little fella.

He's supposed to have a Creedmore rifle

he carries as a saddle gun.

Supposed to be able

to hit out to 500 yards.

- Oh, Mr Rate. 500 yards...

- I mean it.

He never carries a side arm,

so you know he's a dry-gulcher.

But he smells like a wet-gulcher

and he dresses like a clown.

He don't have no wife,

but he sure keeps himself spruced up.

Many a rustler has said his prayers when

he got a whiff of them lavender bath salts.

- Daddy, I wanna know how...

- Not now. Shh!

- Vern, scat. Out of here.

- You betcha. I will.

- Adios, buddies.

- Send you a postal card from Canada.

Cal, why can't I go to Canada?

You gotta tend to the cabin

in the breaks, Cary.

You don't hear Tom complainin'.

See you in a few weeks, Tom.

They'll be back, Buck.

Don't you worry about it.

Well, by gosh. Good mornin' to you, miss.

Good morning to you, Mr Logan.

You bought this place already, huh?

Yes, ma'am.

I guess that kinda

makes us neighbours, doesn't it?

- Where are you headed?

- Oh, I'm gonna go over on the table.

Well, may I accompany you?

No.

- Why not?

- No good reason. I don't want company.

Come on. Give me a chance.

Give you a chance.

Give you a chance for what?

Miss, I'm gonna take this opportunity

to be just a little damn bit offended.

Cos if there's anybody in this district

who's got a right to think of themselves

as wholesome companionship,

why, it's yours truly.

If you're such a wholesome companion,

what were you doing at the whorehouse?

Who in the world told you that?

Mary O'Connell,

that little blonde you paid for.

Well, I hope that's all she told you.

She told me everything.

We're starved for news out here.

- All I ever hear about is grass.

- What's the matter with grass?

Samuel Johnson said

"A blade of grass is a blade of grass. "

- "Tell me about a human being. "

- I don't understand that.

It just means that Samuel Johnson

was as bored as I am with nature.

We had a famous painter

out here last year.

That man must have painted ten square

miles of canvas, not one human face.

I wish he'd painted that boy Sandy hangin'

up so decoratively against the mountains.

Because his pink tongue and white face

would have set off

the green of Montana splendidly.

I mean, it would have made the

damnedest bank calendar you ever saw.

Well, you succeeded. This is where

I was coming to and you're still with me.

The persistence

of the young rancher, huh?

- Well, I know what I want is all.

- What do you want?

I mean, I know what it is

when I want something.

- Oh, come on!

- "Oh, come on" what?

- Why don't you just say what you mean?

- This is what I mean.

- Do you want me?

- What does that mean?

I mean you're followin' me around.

What you got in mind?

- Me?

- Sexual intercourse?

- Oh, my...

- Well, all right.

All right.

Come on. Get down off your horse.

I'm not gonna have any hesitation from

you. Not from a frequenter of whores.

All right, all right. Just back off.

I'm gonna step down at my own speed.

All right.

I'm going to lose it right here,

in all these blades of grass.

Do I have to come to you? All right.

- Hold it.

- What?

Who asked you to do all this?

- Well, your entire behaviour...

- Never mind that.

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