The Missouri Breaks Page #4

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I didn't ask you.

You said that you wanted it.

- Well, do you?

- No.

- Well, you're not gonna get it.

- Keep the dang thing. I don't want it.

- I forgot. You do have your whores.

- Sure do. Like 'em too.

I'll tell you something. If you want them...

I keep tellin' ya. I want them a lot.

I don't want you at all.

Why are you bein' so mean to me?

People have neglected to tell you

what a nasty little b*tch you are,

and I'm makin' up for their negligence.

I just seem mean.

I'm only being thorough.

If you're gonna start that, I'm gonna go

home and shovel manure on the pansies.

Well, you just wait a minute

because I'm gonna stop.

You gonna talk nice?

I will do my best.

You bastard.

- Can I have a kiss?

- No. I hardly know you.

Why don't we take a walk and talk about

the Wild West and how to get out of it?

Well... all right. I can talk about that.

Cal, I forgot how to tie a diamond hitch.

- A squaw hitch is all you need.

- You'll be gone two weeks?

Give or take a few days. Cary, you're

gonna move some stock to make way.

- No more than two...

- Or three at a time.

- I've been doin' this for a while.

- I reckon you have. Let's go.

Keep low, boy.

Hell of a damn way to ride off.

- Stay with your horse.

- Get a hold.

Si, stay with your horse! Si!

Goddamn it, he knows what he's doing.

Si let go of the rope.

Oh, Jesus.

- Help!

- You're gonna drown!

Help! Get me in.

We did it. We crossed

that son of a b*tch, didn't we?

I couldn't swim,

but I was swimmin', right?

I can! I did it!

We deserve a lot of damn credit.

We crossed the Mighty Mo

and I want some damn credit.

Supposin' if the catfish

in that son of a b*tch could eat a pig.

Or a chicken.

Get out.

- Easy, now.

- Tom!

Hey, Tom!

Huh?

You're the only rancher

who hasn't met the new regulator.

Tom Logan, Robert E Lee Clayton.

It's a pleasure

to make your acquaintance, sir.

Damn near... sucked my boot off.

Pleasure to meet you.

Regulator - ain't that like a dry-gulcher?

That's not the softest term

you could use, I'd say.

Well, a regulator...

Correct me if I'm wrong.

Isn't a regulator one of these boys

that shoots people

and don't never get near 'em?

That's it.

Well, what about the binoculars?

What are they for?

Well, I've taken to watchin'

funny-lookin' birds.

I see.

Well, hell, I don't know.

I suppose if you didn't get a way off,

a mile or so to do the job,

you'd just get messy like I done here.

Easy, Tom. Don't let me down.

I've just heard this from all the other

dreamers tryin' to ranch around here.

Lee, did you ever hit a man from a mile off

while he was carryin' a pail of water?

A mile, well...

But I don't remember the pail.

No, sir.

When you hang a man,

usually he has a chance to talk,

or say goodbye, write a letter...

Besides, a Creedmore...

- It's a Creedmore, isn't it?

- It is a Creedmore, and a beautiful one.

Must make a pretty good

mess of a human.

You hit a guy from 500 yards out, say,

why, the suddenness of it, he don't have a

few seconds to make his act of contrition.

And you never have to look him in the eye.

Right there, that makes all the difference.

I would disagree, sir. The thing that

makes all the difference in the world

is the fact that it accomplishes

the task, you see.

This old boy in Wyoming...

Whoa.

This old boy in Wyoming, he sat down

just to pull sandburs out of his trousers,

and his skull suddenly flew into pieces

about the size of your thumbnail.

That was the first time

I ever heard the term "regulator".

- That was the first time.

- First time.

What would be your line of work, sir?

I was in the implement business

up in the Shonkin Sag,

but I started back in the ranch

south of here.

You started back in? You was before...?

My family used to have a place,

but when they lost it I hired out.

Oh, I see.

I certainly wish you

good fortune, Mr Logan.

The times are hard on a small operator.

Heyah!

I hope the damn horse thieves

leave you something.

- I hope so too.

- Good day to you, sir.

Bye-bye now.

This colt of yours will be all right

if you can find a wet mare.

- Is the mother dead?

- Yeah.

She got bogged down in a mire

about a mile from here.

- See you later, Tom. Thanks.

- All right, Mr Braxton.

Damn those hands of mine.

Good luck, Old Sloppy.

Must have smelled something.

The closer you get towards Canada,

the more things eat your horses.

Probably smelled a bear or a cat

or some damn thing.

Either one would go ahead

and eat your horse...

Whoa...

Damn! I don't know why they had

to put Canada way the hell up here.

Well, hello, Jane.

Hello, Tom.

I didn't think I'd find you here.

- Why'd you think that?

- Cos I haven't seen you.

You thought I was gonna

come courtin', didn't ya?

Maybe so. Mm-hm.

You was too harsh to me last time.

I never kick a dead horse, lady.

That sure is some garden you've started

here. Have you had one before?

No. My aunt had one

and I kinda took it over.

I ain't half bad at it though.

No.

Why don't you get down off your horse?

I will, thank you.

You're a lot nicer than you was before.

Why is that?

Well, you didn't come courtin' me

like I figured you would, and...

I'm...

You're what?

I'm tryin' to revive your interest.

Oh, yeah?

Well... come here a minute

and I'll show you something.

All right.

Now lift that up.

Close her down. Garden's watered.

I admire you.

Come in the house.

I'll make you a cup of chinee tea.

Chinese tea?

Northern Pacific Railroad.

Where did you get these?

Just souvenirs.

Mm...

How long does the tea take?

Five or ten minutes.

Can I come over there?

I'll come over there if you ask me to.

Let's go over there.

You sure about that?

That's right.

How do you know you're sure about that?

Well, why do you think?

Cos that's the reason why

you come out here in the first place.

That's right.

This here tea's gonna get black as ink.

We'll write somebody a letter with it.

Let's write your father a letter.

Tell him that you're the prisoner

of the chinee tea slavers.

Would you like to do this?

Yeah... I would like to.

That's what I would like to do.

Sorry.

God.

God, God.

Sniper, sniper, sniper.

Goddamn. They're pretty.

Yeah. They're neat

little bastards, ain't they?

Oh, boy. There's more of 'em

than I expected.

Yeah. Do you suppose

them catfish ever look up?

- Piss on them.

- From up here?

Sh!

Supposed to be

the best police in the world.

- They don't scare me.

- Me neither.

Let's take these horses to the home

of the brave and the land of the free.

- Not today.

- What?

Not today!

Goddamn.

I'm gonna have an awful lot of

explaining to do when I get home.

But I'm not gonna lie my way

out of this one.

Yes, I am.

- Which one?

- I'm gonna lie my way out of it.

- Where'd she go?

- Who?

- Your ma.

- Oh...

Well, she listened very carefully

to my father for about three years,

weighed every word,

and then she up and ran off with the first

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