The Missouri Breaks Page #5

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unreasonable man that she could find.

Wait a minute. Stop. This is a nice way

to ride, but I know a much better way.

Where are you goin'?

Ooh!

- Well, that is clever.

- Yeah.

Would you say that this is lewd conduct?

Well, I couldn't say for sure.

My father has a library full of law books,

cos he believes in the law.

He says that we haven't got

any law up here yet.

What brings that to your mind?

Because in one of those law books of his,

there's a whole section on lewd conduct.

- What about it?

- It's against the law.

Are you an outlaw?

I'm a jackpot rancher with a milk cow and

100 square foot of root vegetables. Why?

- Why do you have so many guns?

- Because I'm a sportsman.

Why do you have a sawed-off shotgun?

Well, because I'm a sawed-off sportsman.

Well, something has sure

started in my thinking,

and I don't know why we should go on

if you're just gonna end up dead.

Whoa.

Can we get down here

for a while and talk?

- Yeah. OK.

- You can make it?

When the trumpet of the Lord

shall sound and time shall be no more

And the morning breaks

eternal, bright and fair

And the chosen ones shall gather

over on the other shore

And the roll is called up yonder

I'll be there

When the roll is called up yonder

When the roll is called up yonder...

Now they've locked in with Jesus.

Let's do it.

- Makes me feel real safe and peaceful.

- Well, that's what Sundays are for.

For the best police in the world,

Mounties are dumber than sticks.

We just left 'em nothin'.

Ha-ha! Whoo!

Damn.

Shouldn't crawl up on people like that.

Well, I'm not the crawlin' kind.

I was just passin' by and I thought

I'd ask you a question or two.

There was a family of Logans

out of Kaycee, Wyoming.

There was four brothers.

The youngest was a kid named Lonnie.

They was all pretty quick,

except for Lonnie -

he was a fiddle player, and...

They killed him off right quick.

Some of the ranchers had found him

thievin' or something like that.

Anyway, I was wonderin'...

would they be kin to ya?

No. No.

Well, I didn't think so

because you don't carry a gun.

No, I never carry a gun.

I never wear a gun neither.

Oh, once in a while I carry

this little darlin' around.

She's almost like a poem.

You know, it's all hand-done.

Etched, you know, scratched in silver.

Oh, she's a beauty.

Made for the president of Mexico.

I diverted it for a hundred-dollar bill.

But it doesn't shoot worth a damn.

Some damn fool came along

and filed off the top of the front sight.

And you have to sort of play with it.

It isn't easy.

Have a look at the rope.

Not bad.

There's one left.

I doubt it.

You're smart.

Farmers ain't smart.

I don't know exactly where you came

from or what you were doing,

but I think you ought to go back to it,

because you can't farm worth spit.

Unless... unless you lost your nerve.

In that case, cabbages

is just what the doctor ordered.

Is your nerve gone?

Is your nerve gone?

Yah!

Easy, easy!

We're home, boys. We'll bed down soon.

How we gonna get 'em

to swim across the Mighty Mo?

If you can get one or two to go,

they'll all go.

Here's the breaks. Come on!

Back in the USA! What a relief.

Hey!

Slow, boys.

Mounties!

Come on. Let's get outta here.

Get down.

Let's get outta here.

Come on! Yah! Yah!

Agh!

Let's go! Let's go!

Wonder where Little Tod

got himself off to.

I don't know.

I don't know where my finger is either.

Them Mounties... followed us

right into the United States of America,

got their horses back.

It's not even legal!

Tie that hand up and let's move. Maybe

we'll meet Little Tod at the Snake's Cross.

Come on.

Come on. Go! Go!

Whoa, there.

Do you always get off

your horse that way?

I'm not chasin' you.

- Who did you think was after you?

- This is the haunt of thieves and killers.

Oh, sh*t. Here.

This ain't the haunt of nothin' but

diamondbacks and old farts like me.

- Who are ya?

- My name's Jim Ferguson.

I'm pleased to meet you.

What's your name?

Tod La Frambois.

La Frambois.

- What's your trade, Mr La Frambois?

- Trade?

Well, I been in the...

farm implement business.

Now I'm lookin' to get on with the ranch.

Maybe down around Absaroka.

That'd be over that way.

I tell you what. I got a nice hare

on a stick over here.

Let's go have a bite to eat.

- Well... thank you.

- Come on.

Life is like a mountain railway

With an engineer that's brave

We must make this run successful

From the cradle to the grave

Heed the curves, the fills, the tunnels

Never falter, never quail

Never quail.

Keep your hand upon the throttle

And your eye upon the rail

- Sweet song.

- Yeah.

Do you believe that life is like

a mountain railroad, Mr La Frambois?

All I know, Jim, is that...

life is not like anything I ever seen before.

Yes.

It's really strange runnin' into a preacher

out here, in this hellhole.

I believe that life is

like a mountain railway,

but not for the reasons in the song.

I think life is like a mountain railway

cos you don't have no idea what sleazy

son of a b*tch got his hand on the throttle.

That's a real strange attitude

for a preacher.

Yep.

I ain't no preacher.

What do you do?

I'm about a quarter-ass horse thief.

Anything to get some grits in my stomach.

Not doin' too good at it neither.

Otherwise I wouldn't be eatin' hare.

I'd be in Dodge City,

playin' with them big asses,

drinkin' champagne.

What about yourself there, Tod?

What do you do?

Well, there's really nothin' to say.

I'm a single man. Implement business.

- Where you got this implement business?

- It's in Big Sandy.

No, I mean the Shonkin Sag.

No, I mean Big Sandy. Big...

I was raised up in Big Sandy.

There ain't a teeny-weeny

implement business in Big Sandy,

and not in Shonkin Sag neither.

Mr Ferguson, I'm really grateful to you

for your hospitality and everything,

but my line of work is

none of your damn business.

I'm sorry, Tod. I didn't mean

to get you all riled up like that.

I'll tell you what.

Maybe one of these days, I'll get

a chance to cook your supper for you.

Hah! Hooray for a free dang meal.

Good.

Thank God.

I hope you keep my business

to yourself too.

Hey. You got my word.

That's good enough.

What the hell's goin' on here?

Goddamn. What the hell's

the matter with you?

Something... I don't know...

Tryin' to get some sleep here.

I want you to cinch up good

on the knot there.

- Yeah, I did.

- All right, now don't have fear.

This is the way my daddy taught me, now.

Easy aces, now. Come on.

Come on.

- This is the part I hate. I can't swim a lick.

- Come on.

- What do I do?

- Now slide off.

Slide off. Let her go.

Let the horse go. Don't hold on.

- That's it. Now we're doin' it.

- Whoo-hoo!

I got you now.

Damn!

- Hell, this is easy.

- Up on that beast now.

You're halfway to the barn now, laddie.

- Halfway.

- Yee-hah!

Come on! We've cut that son of a b*tch.

We cut that goddamn thing

slicker than butter.

Listen, you go on ahead now.

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