The Movie Out Here

# Someday you'll remember me

# And picture my face

# Someday you may smile at me

# And I'll walk away

# Yesterday I needed a buck

# Today I needed a bank

# But I know

who was always there #

# It's me that I had to thank

# And I wanna say

# Picture my face

# Yeah, I gotta say

# Kiss my face

# Someday you'll remember me

# And picture my face

# Someday you may smile at me

# And I'll walk away

# Yesterday I needed love

# Today I need some hate

# But I know who

was always there #

# Now, baby, it's too late

# And I wanna say

# Picture my face

# Yeah, I gotta say

# Well, kiss kiss my face #

Hey, Clare, what's up?

When are we going to actually

plan this wedding?

We have to get

this seating plan done.

Have you even looked at it?

Babe, I'm sorry,

I'm just really busy.

I feel like all of this

is falling on my shoulders.

I feel like your secretary.

You think that

you can just take off,

And everything is going to just

magically happen.

Honey, it's not a good time.

I can't talk, okay?

I hate

to break it to you, Adam,

But it just

doesn't work like that.

And you know what else

might come to a surprise

Is that there's actually

no little magical f***ing elves

That are going to make

the little seating chart

To make sure that

your perverted aunt

Doesn't end up sitting

on the face of my drunken uncle!

No! That falls on me, Adam.

That falls on me!

And you know what,

I am not an elf!

I'm not a f***in' elf!

No...

I am not an elf.

I don't even give a f***!

But until then,

you need to help me out!

Okay. Okay, I promise you

I'll look at it, okay?

Okay.

I love you.

I said I love you!

It's just,

not a great time to talk.

F***ing say it!

I love you.

Aw...

I can't talk right now.

It's not a good time.

Well, call me back.

No excuses.

Well...

looks like you've really

jammed it up this time, Gary.

Hi, Edith.

Yeah, I can't seem to fit

my fingers in here.

It's really tight.

Hmm.

If I had a dime...

come here.

Come on, give mommy

some of the good stuff.

Well, if you're gonna

work it like that,

You've got to expect

a little extra attention.

I wasn't "working it," Edith.

You look like a man-Whore.

I'm just trying to get

some work done here.

What's going on with

that strip mall in Calgary?

Just some noise bylaw concerns.

From a strip mall?

Yeah, well they opened

a new T.L. Poppers restaurant,

And some other place called

"rub you long time,"

Some kind of massage parlour.

What's the world coming to

When you can't even get

cheese fries and a handjob

In the same place?

Got me.

Anyway, I should be able

to get it pushed through.

Might have to pay off

one of the city councilors.

Where the f*** are you going?

I have to go to the bathroom.

I think I've become

lactose intolerant.

Well, maybe if you ate

a little bit less,

You could control your bowels.

Now, what's going on with that

500-Unit hotel development

In fernie?

Well, we've had some resistance

from some of the locals,

But we found a way around

their zoning by-Law

By filing an injunction.

Now, that's my boy.

I want you to hand-Deliver

that injunction

To fernie city hall, asap.

No, Edith, come on.

You know I hate flying.

Sorry, Gary,

Does the seat cushion

irritate your p*ssy?

I have an ear infection.

I can't fly.

More like a yeast infection.

Fine, go get a pap smear.

I have a great obgyn.

He'll fist you

if you ask nicely.

Hey, why don't you send Adam

To file the injunction, huh?

He's from fernie.

I can't do it, man.

I'm busy.

I am not sending Adam

because it's your f***ing file,

And you're f***ing going.

Nice cock, Adam.

I like a little hoodie.

Don't see them often enough.

Ugh, Jesus, that's disgusting.

I just lost my hard-On.

Ow, ow, ow, ow... ooh!

Be in my office

in three minutes,

And go see a proctologist.

Oh, it's like feathery worms.

Hey, Adam,

You wouldn't mind going

to fernie for me, would you?

Normally, I would,

but I'm totally swamped.

Ow, I think that's a placenta.

I think it just winked at me.

Gary, I don't actually need

the play-By-Play.

I don't remember

eating diarrhea.

Oh, yeah.

How's the wedding planning

coming along?

Are you okay?

My-My chest.

Quit f***ing around, man.

I can't go to fernie, all right?

Gary?

Gary?

Oh, f***.

Oh, god.

Security.

Dave.

Hey, it's Adam.

Uh, Gary Bennett's

having a heart attack.

I'm in the 17th-Floor washroom.

Can you send an ambulance?

I've got a defibrillator

right here.

I'll send someone up.

Thank you.

Hi, hon'.

I thought you said you were

going to call me right back?

Look, I'll get

to the seating plan,

I'm just sort of

in the middle of something?

Oh, so you love your job

more than you love me?

Fine.

You want to talk about

the seating plan?

Let's talk

About the seating plan.

What do you want

to talk about first?

# Well, I'm on my way

# To the city lights...

this is where

the old woman was sitting.

This is where sasquatch

smashed the window here.

A stylish

contemporary kitchen...

and a flower arrangement

on the dining room table?

Damn it, Cathy.

Who's Cathy?

My new girl.

I had her take these.

She has a keen eye

for photography,

But she's also taking a course

In interior design.

Well, the report says

Nothing but beer was

stolen from the place.

Apparently, the woman

was too freaked out

To be interviewed.

Hey, does Cathy

have black hair?

Yeah.

- Pierced eyebrow?

- Yeah.

Kind of oversized

puffy pepperoni nipples?

Gimme that.

And when did you get

that tattoo that says "pain"

On your back?

That ain't me.

What are you two jag offs

doing at my desk?

Sorry, chief.

We were just looking at

graphic anatomical photos

Of Glacier's

cheating girlfriend.

Would you guys remind me again

Which one is Glacier

And which one is fresh?

He is.

I'm Fresh.

I don't give a f***

Which one is Glacier

And which one is fresh!

What the f*** is going on?

We were just going over

The latest sasquatch

crime scene photos, sir.

I know you Creston guys

Like your creepy

sasquatch fetish,

But now that you've transferred

to my unit,

You'll be marching

to my orders, comprende?

With all due respect, sir...

You're in fernie now.

This is the real world.

But in the re...

Hey! You speak

when I tell you!

Yes, sir.

I'm watching you two f***ers.

So, what about sasquatch?

Am I sleeping?

I must be sleeping

Because I just had a dream

Where I told you two bozos

To stop talking about

the sasquatch.

I usually get a boner

when I sleep.

Well, it's not there all night.

I'm not too sure if it is,

But it's definitely there

when I wake up.

It's your testosterone.

It peaks early mornings.

That's why

you wake up like that.

I read it in owl magazine.

You read about boners

in a kid's science magazine?

Maybe it wasn't owl.

It was something science-Y.

Popular science?

Will you two shut the f*** up!

Got it!

What we have here

is a break and enter.

A petty beer theft

Involving

a traumatized geriatric.

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