The Muppet Christmas Carol Page #2

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And though it's never put a scrap

of gold or silver in my pocket...

I believe that Christmas has

done me good and will do me good...

and I say. God bless it!

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah!

And how does one celebrate Christmas

on the unemployment line?

Now. In these times. It was customary

on Christmas Eve...

for well-meaning gentlemen

to call upon businesses...

collecting donations

for the poor and homeless.

Mr Scrooge. I presume?

Who are you?

We're from the Order of Victoria

Charity Foundation.

We'd like to speak to you

about a donation.

Ah. Welcome! This jolly old

gentleman here is Mr Scrooge.

- He's very generous to charities.

- My dear nephew!

At this festive season

of the year. Mr Scrooge...

many of us feel that we must take care

of our poor and homeless.

And are there no prisons?

No poorhouses?

Oh. Plenty of those. Sir.

Oh! Excellent!

For a moment. I was worried.

Some of us are endeavouring to raise

a fund for the poor and the homeless.

What might I put you down for?

- Nothing.

- You wish to remain anonymous?

I wish to be left alone.

I do not make merry

myself at Christmas.

- That certainly is true.

- And I cannot afford

to make idle people merry.

That is certainly not true.

Don't you have other things to do

this afternoon. My dear nephew?

Sadly. I do. Uncle.

So I shall make my donation...

and leave you to make yours.

Thank you so very much.

Oh. Uncle. Come and have Christmas

dinner with me and Clara tomorrow.

- Why ever did you get married?

- Why? Because I fell in love.

That's the only thing in the world

sillier than a merry Christmas.

It's no use. Uncle. I shall keep

my Christmas humour to the last.

A merry Christmas to you

and a happy New Year.

- Merry Christmas. Fred.

- Merry Christmas. Bob.

Humbug!

Now. Then. Sir.

about the donation?

Well. Now. Let's see.

I know how to treat the poor.

My taxes go to pay

for the prisons and the poorhouses.

- The homeless must go there.

- But some would rather die.

If they'd rather die.

then they'd better do it...

and decrease the surplus population!

Oh. Dear. Oh. Dear.

- Oh. Dear. Oh. Dear.

- This is the door. You may use it.

All right. Beaker. Come along.

I think we've taken enough

of Mr Scrooge's time.

Oh. Dear. Dear. Dear.

Good King Wenceslas looked out

on the Feast of Stephen

Though the snow lay round about

deep and crisp and even

Brightly shown

the moon that night

Though the

- What do you want?

- Uh. P-penny for the song. Guv'nor?

Seventeen. Twenty-four. Fifty-eight...

two fifty-two. Twenty-one.

seventy-eight.

Uh. Excuse me. Mr Scrooge.

but it appears to be closing time.

Very well. I'll see you

at 8.00 tomorrow morning.

- Tomorrow's Christmas.

- 8.30 then.

If you please. Sir. Half an hour off hardly

seems customary for Christmas Day.

- Hardly customary.

- Not at all!

How much time off is customary.

Mr Cratchit?

Uh. Why. Um.

the. Uh. Whole day.

- Yes! Yeah. That's right! The whole day!

- The entire day?

No. That's the frog's idea.

If you please. Mr Scrooge.

why open the office tomorrow?

Other businesses will be closed.

You'll have no one to do business with.

It'll waste a lot

of expensive coal for the fire.

- Yes. That's definitely a point.

- That's a point.

- That's right.

It's a poor excuse for picking

a man's pocket every December the 25th.

But as I seem to be the only person

around who knows that...

- Take the day off.

- Yay!

What a boss! Oh. Man!

- We love you. Ebenezer!

- Will you stop that!

Thank you. Mr Scrooge.

- Be here all the earlier the next morning.

- Okay. Sir! You bet!

With their employer gone at last...

Bob Cratchit and the bookkeepers

immediately began...

that most pleasant of activities.

the celebration of Christmas.

He's gone!

Gentlemen.

let's close up for Christmas.

There's magic in the air this evening

Magic in the air

The world is at her best

you know

When people love and care

The promise of excitement

Is one the night will keep

After all, there's only

one more sleep till Christmas

- Okay. Fellas. Are you ready?

- Ready. Go.

- Alley-oop!

- Yay!

The world has got a smile today

The world has got a glow

- There's no such thing as strangers

when a stranger says hello

- Alley-oop! Yay!

And everyone is family

We're having so much fun

After all, there's only

one more sleep till Christmas

Okay. Ready.

Here we go.

Alley-oop!

- Yay!

- Ta-da!

- Easy. Easy.

- Back. Back. Back. Back.

Back it up.

All right!

That's it!

- We're all done.

- Very good. Gentlemen.

'Tis the season

to bejolly and joyous

With a burst of pleasure

we feel it arrive

It's a season when the saints

can employ us

To spread the news about peace

and to keep love alive

What's that?

Oh. Iook!

It's the penguins'

Christmas skating party.

Oh. My.

- Ah! Hmm. Uh. Yeah.

- Hey. What...

Hey. It's Bob Cratchit!

Oh. You big klutz.

you big klutz!

Oh. Thank you.

Thank you very much. What...

Wow!

- No way!

- Come on. Rizzo.

No way! No!

Oh. Boy.

Fun. Huh?

Merry Christmas. Penguins.

There's something in the wind today

- That's good for everyone

- Yeah.

Yes, faith is in our hearts today

We're shining like the sun

And everyone can feel it

- The feeling's running deep

- Merry Christmas. Mr Cratchit.

- After all, there's only

one more sleep till Christmas

- Merry Christmas!

After all

there's only one more sleep

Till Christmas Day

- Merry Christmas!

- Hmm.

Wow.

Scrooge lived in chambers

which had once belonged...

to his old business partners.

Jacob and Robert Marley.

- Have some bread?

- Not while I'm working.

- Whoa. Whoa.

- Okay. Suit yourself.

The building was a dismal

heap of brick on a dark street.

Now. Once again. I must ask you to

remember that the Marleys were dead...

- And decaying in their graves.

- Yuck!

That one thing

you must remember...

or nothing that follows

will seem wondrous.

- Um. Why are you whispering?

- It's for dramatic emphasis.

Oh.

Jacob Marley?

Scrooge!

Hey. You okay?

Humbug.

Oh. Gonzo. Speak to me.

I mean. Mr Dickens.

Charley. Are you hurt?

To say that Scrooge

was not startled would be untrue.

Still. The moment had passed.

and the world was as it should be.

He ain't hurt.

Didn't even break his concentration.

- Hmm?

- Nothin'.

- Oh.

Come on. Rizzo.

We'll follow him in.

In a minute. I had a little bag

of jelly beans over here.

Will you just get over here!

- All right.

- Sheesh.

- Steady. Steady.

- Scrooge made his way up the staircase...

caring not a button for the darkness.

Darkness was cheap.

and Scrooge liked it.

But the incident at the door

had made Scrooge wary.

Before he shut himself in for the night.

he searched his rooms.

- Okay. That does it!

- Pardon?

How do you know

what Scrooge is doin'?

- We're down here. And he's up there.

- I keep telling you.

Storytellers are omniscient.

I know everything.

Hoity-toity.

Mr Godlike Smarty-pants.

To conduct a proper search.

Scrooge was forced to light the lamps.

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