The Muppet Christmas Carol Page #3

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How does he do that?

It's my best dressing gown.

No harm done.

Look! It's Ebenezer Scrooge.

Looking older and

more wicked than ever.

I knew he wouldn't disappoint us.

Who are you?

In life.

we were your partners. Jacob...

And Robert Marley!

It looks like you.

but I don't believe it!

Why do you doubt your senses?

Because a little thing

can affect them.

A slight disorder of the stomach

can make them cheat.

You may be a bit

of undigested beef...

a blob of mustard.

a crumb of cheese.

Yes. There's more of gravy

than of grave about you!

- "More of gravy than of grave"?

- What a terrible pun.

- Where do you get those jokes?

- Leave comedy to the bears. Ebenezer.

Please. Jacob. Robert.

don't criticize me.

You always criticize me!

- We were always heckling you.

- It's good to be heckling again.

It's good to be doing anything again.

Why do you come to me?

We're Marley and Marley

Avarice and greed

We took advantage of the poor

Just ignored the needy

We specialized in causing pain

Spreading fear and doubt

And if you could not pay the rent

We simply threw you out

There was the year we evicted

the entire orphanage!

I remember the little tykes

all standing in the snowbank.

With their little

frostbitten teddy bears.

We're Marley and Marley

Our hearts were painted black

We should've known our evil deeds

Would put us both in shackles

Captive bound

we're double-ironed

Exhausted by the weight

- As freedom comes from giving love

- So prison comes with hate

We're Marley and Marley

We're Marley and Marley

But. My friends. You were not

unfeeling toward your fellow men.

True. There was something

about mankind we loved.

I think it was their money.

Doomed, Scrooge

You're doomed for all time

Your future is a horror story

written by your crime

Your chains are forged

by what you say and do

So have your fun when life is done

A nightmare waits for you

What are these terrible chains?

Oh. The chains!

We forged these chains in life

by our acts of greed.

You wear such a chain yourself.

Humbug.

Speak comfort to me. Friends.

Comfort?

You will be haunted

by three spirits.

Haunted?

I've already had enough of that.

Without these visits. You cannot hope

to avoid the path we tread.

Expect the first ghost tonight

when the bell tolls 1.00.

Can't I meet them all at once

and get it over with?

When the bell tolls 1.00!

We're Marley and Marley

We're Marley and Marley

We're Marley and Marley

Change!

And with that. The spirits of Scrooge's

partners vanished into the darkness...

leaving him once again...

- Alone in his room.

- Whoa. That's scary stuff.

Hey. Should we be worried

about the kids in the audience?

- Nah. That's all right. This is culture.

- Oh.

Oh. Uh. Jelly bean?

I had 'em in my pocket all along.

What?

Humbug.

- Come on!

- But I really hate this.

You wanted to know

what was happening.

Now. Scrooge's bedchamber is

on this side of the house. Now. Jump.

There's only two things in this life

I hate... heights and jumping from them.

Too late now.

Come on. I'll catch ya.

God save my little broken body.

Missed.

Oh. Wait a second!

I forgot my jelly beans. Um...

Oh. Good.

- What?

- You can fit through those bars?

Yeah.

- You are such an idiot.

- What? What?

Hey. What?

What? What?

Oh. Dear.

Scrooge slipped into the empty silence

of a dreamless sleep.

You know. A guy could break his tail

falling out of this tree.

You want to see

what's going on. Don't you?

- Yes.

- Look. There's Scrooge's window.

Oh. Yeah.

Expect the first ghost

when the bell tolls 1.00!

Wow!

Are you the spirit whose coming

was foretold to me?

I am.

But...

- You're just a child.

- I can remember nearly 1.900 years.

I am the Ghost of Christmas Past.

- What business has brought you here?

- Your welfare.

A night's unbroken rest

might aid my welfare.

Your salvation then.

Take heed.

Come.

I beg you. Spirit.

l... I am mortal and liable to fall.

A touch of my hand

and you shall fly.

- What are we doin'?

- Nothin'.

- What?

- Well. Just hold on.

- What?

- W-Watch out. Rizzo.

- What? Ow! Oh!

Whee!

Hello. London!

- Goodbye. Lunch!

- Yeah!

- Spirit?

- Yes?

Nothing.

- Oh. Iook. Rizzo.

- I don't wanna look.

Spirit. What is that light?

It cannot be dawn.

It is the past.

Look! It's beautiful. Rizzo.

Mommy!

Hey. We're going down.

Hang on. Rizzo!

- Sorry. Madam.

- Ouch!

Pardon me. Sir.

Look out. Rizzo!

- Rizzo. This is Louise.

- Yeah. We've met.

And so they arrived

in Ebenezer Scrooge's childhood.

- That was the worst trip of my life!

- Well. It's over now.

Yeah. Safe at last.

No.

No! No!

Oh. No. Stop.

Nice kitty. Nice kitty.

Ow! Ouch! I'm from New Jersey!

It was the afternoon

of Christmas Eve...

and Scrooge was conscious

of a thousand odours...

each one connected

with a thousand thoughts...

and hopes and joys and cares...

long. Long forgotten.

It's my old school.

I was a boy here.

That... That's Henry!

And Edmund. My best friend.

Hello. Boys.

Hello?

These are but shadows

of your past. Ebenezer.

They can neither see nor hear you.

Come and let us go inside.

- Rizzo. Stop playing with the cat.

- Help me! Save me!

- Help me! Save me! Help me! Save me!

- Follow me.

Help me! Save me!

Ow.

And what a flood of memories

came back to him...

as Scrooge beheld his old classroom.

I know it all so well. Spirit.

The desks.

The smell of the chalk.

I chose my profession in this room.

And is he. Too. Familiar?

Scrooge beheld a small boy...

a boy he knew.

oh. Very well indeed.

Good heavens.

It's me.

Hurry. Ebenezer.

The last coach is leaving.

Come on.

He never goes home for Christmas.

Who cares about stupid old Christmas?

I was often alone.

More time for reading and study.

The Christmas holiday was a chance

to get some extra work done.

A time for solitude.

- Rats don't understand these things.

- You were never a lonely child?

I had 1.2 74 brothers and sisters.

Sheesh.

Rats don't understand these things.

Let us see another Christmas

in this place.

They were all very much the same.

- Nothing ever changed.

- You changed.

The years performed

their terrible dance...

and in a moment. Scrooge had seen

his entire childhood pass.

He saw his old schoolroom

age and decay.

What? What the...

Hey. Hey! Ow!

So. Master Scrooge.

graduation day. And yet...

That's my old headmaster.

This man taught me my greatest lesson.

Stand up. Build your life

as this school is built.

Push!

My ear! My ear! My ear!

Ah. Yes! Work hard. Work long

and be constructive.

Oh. Ebenezer.

life is a golden opportunity.

Today you go forth

into the real world.

You must keep your nose

to the grindstone.

Work hard. Lad. And one day

your life will be as solid...

as this very building!

- I've been meaning to fix that shelf.

- Yes. Headmaster.

Well. Young man. You have been

apprenticed to a fine company in London.

Today you become a man of business.

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