The Muppet Movie Page #2

I just cleaned the fur, please!

I hope you appreciate that

I'm doing all my own stunts.

Okay, everybody,

drinks on the house!

- Drinks on the house!

- Yeah! Go, go! On the house!

I don't see no drinks up here.

What's he talkin' about?

The bartender said there

were drinks on the house.

- Works every time.

- Huh. Wow.

My name is Kermit the Frog,

and I'm on my way to Hollywood.

- Hollywood?

- You want to join me?

Big-time show biz!

That's always been my dream.

They're holding auditions

for frogs next week.

And if they need frogs,

they must need bears too.

My car's right outside!

Gee, a Studebaker.

Where'd you get it?

- My uncle left it to me.

- Is he dead?

No, he's hibernating.

You know, Fozzie, you really

do have a lot of talent.

- Thank you.

- How about we put together an act?

Nope. Sorry.

I only work as a single.

Okay.

All right, you talked me into it!

We'll be a team!

- Oh, good.

- What's this?

- You better pull over here.

- Yes, sir.

Hey, what's goin' on?

Howdy, Mr. Frog.

- I'm a businessman with a proposition.

- What?

Let me show you somethin' that

might change your whole life.

Hop right over here,

my little green friend.

- Listen, mister--

- That's it.

This is the kind of chance

you can't afford to pass up.

Now, now, don't be afraid.

Watch the window.

What's that?

Hi, I'm Doc Hopper...

invitin'you to hop on down and get

some Hopper's french-fried frog legs...

right here, at the sign

of the bright green legs!

Good grief!.

Hurry, hurry, hurry.

Frog legs, frog legs

Frog legs so fine

Hopper's is the place

you should dine

There's cheese legs

bacon legs, chili legs too

- French-fried frog legs, barbecued

- Oh, Fozzie.

- If you want just a snack

- Don't worry.

Then here is the one

A frog-leg burger

on a bright green bun

That is terrible! That's the most

revolting thing I've ever seen!

I know. I'm a great businessman

and a sweet fella...

but I do lack the skills

of a performer.

You also make a lousy frog!

You, on the other hand,

make a terrific frog!

- What?

- He's right. You are very likable.

The bear's right.

You, my little likable friend...

are gonna do all our

television commercials!

- No way!

-Just a minute.

There's $500 in it for you,

up front.

$500 is just the beginnin'.

You could be earnin'

this much every year.

- Let's go, Fozzie.

- $500?

Would you consider

a bear in a frog suit?

- Fozzie!

- I just lost my head.

just a minute, Mr. Frog.

Everything's negotiable.

- Okay, here we go. Sorry!

- Hey, that's my Caddy!

-Just get it in gear, Fozzie!

- Yes, sir. Here we go!

This is money we're talkin' about.

Max!

Follow that frog!

Max!

Follow that frog

with me in the car!

I'm sorry, Doc, I just got excited.

Isn't the frog terrific?

- Terrific. Now go!

- But you promised me a reward.

Later, Max.

Now follow that frog!

- It's a gorgeous day.

- Yep, certainly is.

- Yep, terrific day for a drive.

- Beautiful country out here.

A frog and a bear,

seeing America!

Movin'right along in search

of good times and good news

With good friends you can't lose

This could become a habit

Opportunity knocks once

Let's reach out and grab it

Together we'll nab it

We'll hitchhike

bus or Yellow Cab it

Cab it?

Movin'right along

Footloose and fancy free

Getting there is half the fun

Come share it with me

Movin'right along

We'll learn to share the load

We don't need a map to keep

this show on the road

Fozzie, turn left if you

come to a fork in the road.

Yes, sir, turn left at

the fork in the road.

- Turn left!

- I don't believe that.

Movin'right along

we've found a life on the highway

And your way is my way

So trust my navigation

California, here we come

The pie-in-the-sky land

Palm trees and warm sand

Though sadly we just

left Rhode Island

- We did what?

-Just forget it.

- Movin'right along

- Hey, LA, where've you gone

Send someone to fetch us

We're in Saskatchewan

Movin'right along

You take it

You know best

Hey, I've never seen the sun

come up in the west

Ah, a bear in his natural habitat--

a Studebaker.

- Hey, Fozzie, look up ahead.

- What is that?

Maybe we should give him a ride.

I don't know, he's pretty big.

- Hey, there, want a lift?

- No, thanks.

I'm on my way

to New York City...

to try to break into

public television.

Good luck.

Movin'right along

We're truly birds of a feather

We're in this together

And we know where we're goin'

Movie stars with flashy cars

and life with the top down

We're stormin'the big town

- Stormin's right. Should it be snowing?

- No, I don't think so.

Movin'right along

Footloose and fancy free

- You're ready for the big time

- Is it ready for me

Movin'right along

Hey, Fozzie.

Look up ahead there.

There's one of those

Doc Hopper billboards.

- Maybe you better pull over.

- Yes, sir.

Look at that.

Kermit, that's you!

You got the picture, boy?

You see what I mean?

Kermit the Frog, symbol of

Doc Hopper's French-Fried Frog Legs.

Isn't that splendid?

just take a look at it.

All I can see are millions

of frogs on tiny crutches.

Now listen, boy, don't you

want to be rich and famous?

- Not workin' for you, I don't!

- That's right.

- Crutches?

- Shut up, Max!

We're a small-time operation...

but we're expandin',

just like you frogs expand!

- Don't you frogs expand?

- That's a myth!

- What?

- Myth, myth!

Yes?

- Burn rubber.

- Yes, sir.

Hey, frog!

That's the second time!

Max, I've done

my best with that frog.

Now's the time to do my worst.

Open the door.

- No, you open the door!

- What?

I'm through, Doc.

The frog is right.

You're asking him to do something

terrible. I can't be a part of it.

It's a moral decision,

and I'll stand by it!

- I'll double your percentage.

- I'll open the door.

- Kermit, where are we?

- Well, let's see.

We were just travelling down

this little black line here...

and we just crossed that

little red line over there.

Let's take the blue line, huh?

- We can't take that. That's a river.

- I knew that.

- Yeah, sure.

- Listen, why don't we just go--

- Fozzie?

- Yeah?

Who's driving?

- Look out! Stop!

- No problem!

- Okay, back it up.

- Yes, sir.

Fozzie, where did you

learn to drive?

I took a correspondence course.

- This looks like a nice, quiet spot.

- Uh-huh.

It feels like we've been

driving for days.

- Funny, I'm still wide awake.

- Me too.

Me too.

I'm up! I'm up!

What's that?

They don't look like

Presbyterians to me.

Hey, cool it, everybody!

Our gentle mornin' melodies have

attracted wanderin' admirers.

- Hey, who are you guys?

- We am, is, are and be...

they whom as are known as

the Electric Mayhem.

For sure!

He's Dr. Teeth!

Golden teeth and golden tones.

Welcome to my presence.

- Thank you.

- Fozzie--

I'm Floyd.

I blow bass.

And I'm--

Zoot.

Sax is your axe.

Uh-oh, Zoot skipped a groove again.

Wow, like, I'm Janice

on lead guitar, for sure.

That's Animal.

Show 'em what you do, Animal!

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