The Muppets Take Manhattan Page #5

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- Great.

It goes, " Dear Kermit,

I am in Michigan."

"Camilla and I have joined

a traveling aquacade.

It's not like Broadway, but I have

met some good-looking chickens here.

We put together this terrific new act. "

Ladies and gentlemen,

the incredible Gonzo!

Thank you, Arriba!

And thank you!

You're a wonderful crowd!

Now, for today's climactic act,

look yonder!

I will first make a death-defying leap

from the loop-de-loop ramp...

spinning and hurtling my body

through the flaming circle of doom...

and landing comfortably on

the imitation-leather easy chair...

while my chickens do their

impression ofTony Bennett...

singing

the "William Tell Overture."

Please!

I must have silence!

Are you ready?

Thank you, Margaret.

Hit it, girls!

Here we go!

Wait. I can't see.

Whoa! Hey, I forgot my skis!

Don't sound like

Tony Bennett to me.

"Everything's going swimmingly.

Love, Gonzo. "

Hey, here's one from Rowlf.

"Dear Kermit, how's the frog?

I'm in Delaware, and I found

a terrific job in management.

I'm surrounded by friends,

and I love what I'm doing. "

I am Mr. Skeffington. One

of my secretaries made a reservation...

for the weekend

in the name of Snookums.

Oh, yeah.

This is Snookums.

Now, Daddy wants

his little Snookie-ookums...

to be especially good

this weekend while Daddy is gone...

or he'll be very angry.

Don't worry. We'll

take good care of her.

- Him.

- Take good care of him.

Snookums is a him!

Snookums gets breakfast

at 8:
00 a.m. Exactly.

- Breakfast is quiche.

- Yes, sir.

Aren't you going

to write it down?

- Photographic memory.

- Write it down!

Dog gets quiche at 8:00.

Whatever that is.

Marvin, put him on the desk.

Do you have any toys here?

What kind of toys

would you like, sir?

Doggy toys.

Rubber balls, rubber fire hydrants,

rubber newspapers.

Snookums prefers

the rubber Wall StreetJournal...

to the rubber Washington Post.

Don't we all?

- Write it down.

- Yeah, rubber Wall StreetJournal.

Now, while Daddy's gone...

the little lumpy-dum-dums

won't have his daddy...

to give him washy-scrubby.

Very impressive. You speak Chinese

like a native.

- Now, shake hands.

- Beg pardon?

- Shake!

- Oh, yeah.

- Good boy. Now, sit.

- Yes, sir.

Stay.

That was the most humiliating

experience of my life.

Snookie!

Look at little Snookie-ookums!

Snookie-wookums want

his little boney-woney?

Little binky-booter!

Hey, you got a squishy bottom.

Yeah!

Lay off, will ya?

Rowlf. Hey, Rowlf, come on.

Let us out of here.

- We want to go home!

- Yeah, Rowlf, come on.

We want to go home.

Let us out. Let us go home.

Yeah, me too.

"Love, from Rowlf."

They're all doing terrific,

aren't they?

Here's one more.

"Dear Mr. Kermit the Frog...

I would be very interested

in talking with you about...

your musical,

Manhattan Melodies. "

"Please come to my office

at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely, Bernard Crawford,

Producer."

I've heard of him.

He's a big-time Broadway producer.

- Really?

- Yeah!

Maybe he wants you

to sign a contract.

I'd better get over there

right away.

Remember, just

act confident...

like you know the show

is going to kill them.

Right. Thanks, Jenny.

Good-bye, Piggy.

- Call us and tell us what happens!

- Watch it!

I'm sorry, but I have to get a contract

so I can go out and kill them.

- May I help you?

- I'm looking for Mr. Crawford.

- Are you Kermit the Frog?

- Yeah.

- I'm Mr. Crawford.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah.

- Wow.

The office boy

is out getting lunch.

You know kids nowadays.

They're always eating lunch.

Yeah. Well, you want

to go in your office?

No, actually...

Why don't we just have a seat

over there for a minute, okay?

Sure. You're very young

to be a producer.

You noticed. I started

when I was very... Yeah.

Can I tell you the truth? The thing

is that I'm not Bernard Crawford.

I'm Ronnie Crawford.

I signed my father's name because

I didn't think you'd come otherwise.

But I want to produce

your show on Broadway!

- You do?

- Yeah, yeah, I love it!

It is so different!

It's perfect for my first production.

- My dad and I have this agreement...

- Ronnie!

I'm coming up the stairs,

and I want my lunch.

That's my dad.

Ronnie! Now.

Dad, I got great news!

If you two are in love,

I don't want to hear about it.

You promised me I could have one chance

to become a Broadway producer.

You would get the sets and the lights

and the scenery and everything!

I want to take that chance

right now. This is Kermit...

and he has written a wonderful musical

called Manhattan Melodies.

I want to produce it.

- When do we hear the great news?

- Dad!

All right, all right.

Tell me, Mr. Author.

What is this musical?

All dancing, all croaking?

It needs a little work.

There's still something missing.

The two leads get married.

Then there's this song that goes:

Look at me, here I am

Hold it. I'm allergic

to amphibians singing.

Who's going to be starring

in this masterpiece?

It's just me and my friends.

They're all dogs and bears and chickens.

I told you. I want to

do something different.

So put someJell-O

down your pants. Come here.

Don't you realize it might

be against the law...

having a chicken

dancing onstage?

You mean you're going to

go back on your promise?

Who said that? Did I say that?

I'll do everything I said I would.

Just because this is ridiculous doesn't

mean it might not make it on Broadway.

- All right!

- Yes!

- When I started out in show business...

- Thank you, Dad!

- Yeah, thanks, Dad.

- See you later!

Yeah, I got

to tell the whole gang!

- Hello. Pete's.

- Jenny?

- Kermit?

- Yeah!

- What happened?

- What?

We sold the show. The producer

wants to put it on Broadway.

- Really?

- What?

The producer said he's going

to put the show on Broadway!

Listen. Tell Piggy

she's gonna be a star.

And, Jenny, I'd like you

to do the costumes.

Oh, Kermit, thank...

Now that we'll be on Broadway, remember

what you promised about getting married?

Not now, Piggy. We got to

write the gang and get them back.

I'll be at Pete's

in ten minutes. We did it!

We did it!

We did it!

Back together again

Pete, are you sure Kermit

wasn't at the bus terminal?

No, he's no there.

Is better wait. Come. Sit down.

But Kermit said he'd be here

in ten minutes.

He's never

been gone like this before.

Listen, I tell you what is.

Peoples is peoples.

Is frog gone? Yes.

Is peoples worrying?

Is peoples looking? Is no come?

But is peoples working?

Is water boiling?

Is come. Yeah.

Peoples is peoples.

Piggy,

I'm sure Kermit's all right.

I bet he got so excited about the show,

he lost track of time.

No, no. He's missing.

I know it.

Aren't you excited?

Just think. You're going

to be on Broadway in a few months.

Two weeks.

- The show opens in two weeks.

- The place is closed.

I'm Ronnie Crawford.

I'm producing Kermit's show.

Oh, well,

we're Kermit's friends.

- I'm Jenny.

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