The Muppets Take Manhattan Page #6

Synopsis: The Muppets graduate from college and decide to take their senior revue on the road. They hit the streets of Manhattan trying to sell their show to producers, finally finding one young and idealistic enough to take their show. After several mishaps and much confusion, things begin to come together for them.
Director(s): Frank Oz
Production: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
  Nominated for 1 Oscar. Another 2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.9
Metacritic:
64
Rotten Tomatoes:
81%
G
Year:
1984
94 min
2,021 Views


- I'm her father.

The show opens in two weeks?

My dad said...

Oh, I'm letting my dad help out.

He said we could have the sets

and props and the costumes...

but the show has

to open in two weeks.

Did you just say

Kermit is missing?

The writer and the star

of my show is missing...

and we open in two weeks?

No sweat.

Come on, Piggy. We'll find him.

Wait. We got

to get his friends back...

all those bears

and chickens and things.

Pop, could you send telegrams

to Kermit's friends?

- Please!

- Okeydokey.

- Let's go!

- Great! Come on!

Is no sweat. I write good.

Dear bears and

chickens and things.

Is New York! Is play!

Is time!

Kermit needs me.

Beth, wake up.

I'm going to New York City

to be on Broadway!

- I'm up. Is it spring?

- All right. I'm up.

Hey, guys,

we're going to New York!

Hey, girls,

we're going to New York!

We're going to New York!

- New York?

- Yeah! Right, right.

New York City! Oh, boy!

Dr. Gomez, 3-33, stat.

Good morning.

I see we've had our breakfast,

haven't we?

Hi, Doctor.

How's our amnesia patient

this morning?

I don't know. I haven't been

feeling like myself lately.

I tell you what. If I may, I'd like to

check your reflexes once again today.

Just take a second.

A little slow...

and confused,

but that's to be expected...

because, as you know,

you have amnesia.

I'm going to check to see that there

are no physical injuries one last time.

Tickle?

This might hurt

just for a minute...

but it'll be over soon.

Adequate

musculoskeletal response.

Now, I want you to take a deep breath.

This will hurt.

All right. No rotator cuff dislocation.

Now, let's try the mandible.

Peachy. No doubt about it.

You have amnesia.

Now, the problem is, you were found

with no identification...

and, oddly enough,

wearing no clothing.

So, I did research into

the major nudist colonies in the area.

I think I've come up with something.

You are Mr. Enrico Tortellini

of Passaic, New Jersey.

Well, I really

don't feel Italian.

It was just a long shot.

Mr. "X," I'm sorry to tell you this...

but your case is hopeless.

Why don't you find a nice job

and make a new life for yourself?

What we can do is give you a nice,

clean set of clothes, wish you luck.

Well, thank you, Doc.

Okay, everybody. Listen, everyone.

Listen.

Look, buddy, I don't take my clothes

off for anyone, even if it is artistic.

Janice, everybody, please.

I'm glad to see you too.

But I've been trying to tell you

that Kermit is gone. He's disappeared!

- Kermit has disappeared?

- Yes!

- Excuse me.

- Yes?

I'm looking

for the Gordon Employment Agency.

- That's one floor down.

- Oh, I see. Thank you.

Wait a minute. Hold it.

What's your name?

Phil. Phil-up.

Phillip, Phil.

Phillip Phil.

Catchy name.

Phil, I'm Bill,

and this is Gil.

Phil, I'm Gil,

and this is Jill.

Phil, I'm Jill.

You know Gil and Bill.

- Pleased to meet you.

- Would you step into our office?

We're looking for the opinion of

the common, ordinary frog-on-the-street.

- We're in the ad game.

- What do you advertise?

- Ocean Breeze soap.

- I never heard of that.

We know.

The truth is,

our jobs are on the line.

- Here. Sit down.

- Oh, yes.

We've been working all night on

a new slogan. Tell us if you like it.

"Ocean Breeze soap, for people

who don't want to stink."

- What do you think?

- Be frank, Phil.

- I don't like it.

- You don't?

How about..."Ocean Breeze soap.

It's just like taking an ocean cruise...

only there's no boat and

you don't actually go anywhere."

Seems a bit long.

Have you tried

something simple like...

"Ocean Breeze soap

will get you clean."

Wait a minute.

Wait just a second.

You mean, just say

what the product does?

No one's ever tried that.

- Well, it's crazy.

- Why, it's nuts.

- We love it!

- Thank you, Phil.

If we can ever do something

for you, let us know.

I kind of need a job.

Phil, you've got one right here.

We can always use a frog

with horse sense.

Yes, welcome aboard, Phil.

- You are with us now.

- Yes.

Well, Waldorf,

they finally made it to Broadway.

- Yep, and I already got tickets.

- You did? Are they good seats?

They sure are. They're for

the next train out of town!

So now the show opens

in just one week.

The publicity's started, and

tickets are already selling.

We're going to have to rehearse

day and night to get ready...

and we have got

to find Kermit.

Who is this guy?

He's Ronnie Crawford.

He's producing the show.

- Who's she?

- She's Jenny.

She's a friend of Kermit's

and mine.

What are we standing around here for?

We gotta find Kermit!

- Yeah!

- Let's go!

Go! Go!

Kermit!

Have you seen a frog?

This is a revolutionary new slogan...

which is,

"Ocean Breeze will get you..."

Yeah?

Right.

- Mr. Mayor! It's an emergency.

- Hold on, everybody.

I'm looking for a frog

who can sing and dance.

If he can also balance the budget,

I'll hire him.

Frog!

Wow. I thought opening night

was supposed to be exciting.

Yeah, but not without

our little green buddy.

Maybe we should

just cancel.

No, it is

opening night tonight.

The show must go on.

Kermit would want it that way.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

That was a great presentation

you made this morning, Jill.

- Thanks to Phil's flow chart.

- Thank you, Jill.

How about a new place

for lunch today?

- Okay.

- Oh, good.

- This time I'll take the bill, Gil.

- Oh, good.

- Something from the grill, Jill?

- No, meat makes me ill, Gil.

We'd better go to the theater now

and get ready.

Yeah.

Together again

Just a couple of frogs.

No! It's Kermit!

It's Kermit!

- It's Kermit!

- How are you doing?

What friendly service.

Where were you?

We were all so worried.

Yeah. Where were you?

I believe there must be

some sort of mistake.

Hey, Phil, since you know the waiters,

why don't you order for us?

- Phil? What does he mean, "Phil"?

- Kermit, what's wrong?

Are you speaking to me?

There's nothing wrong.

I will have the tuna melt,

please, ma'am.

- Like, you don't know us?

- I'm afraid not.

- Should I?

- What do you mean, should you?

We have a show to put on, your show,

and it's opening tonight!

Seeing a show would be a

pleasant way to spend the time...

but I do have some

marketing data to review.

What?

- He really doesn't remember us.

- We have to get him to the theater.

Kermit, this is for your own good.

Grab him!

- Come on!

- Whoa!

Where are you taking me?

They must not get

a lot of repeat business here.

So, the grizzly bear,

he walks out of the room.

The panda bear is just sitting there.

He thinks, "This is odd."

Then the phone rings. You know

who it is? It's the polar bear.

The polar bear says

to the panda bear...

"I didn't know

it was a koala bear."

Get it? "Koala?"

This is all very amusing,

but I have to be going now.

Wait! He doesn't remember.

It's no use.

We've been trying for hours.

There's nothing left to do.

We have to go on without him.

Kermit, please!

Rate this script:4.5 / 2 votes

Tom Patchett

Tom Patchett is an American film director, screenwriter, actor and producer who is best known as the co-creator of ALF. He co-wrote the films Up the Academy, The Great Muppet Caper, The Muppets Take Manhattan and Project ALF. He also wrote episodes of The Bob Newhart Show, We've Got Each Other, The Tony Randall Show, The Carol Burnett Show and Buffalo Bill. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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