The Music Man Page #11

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She will never get sore on her way to supper

Do re mi fa so la si do si do

Shipoopi! Shipoopi! Shipoopi!

The girl who's hard to get

Shipoopi! Shipoopi! Shipoopi!

But you can win her yet

Whoa!

GIRL:
Come on, we wanna sing.

All right, stand back.

(APPLAUDING)

Aw!

Hey!

(GASPING) Oh, my God.

(CROWD LAUGHING)

(CHUCKLING)

Oh!

Oh!

Shipoopi! Shipoopi! Shipoopi!

The girl who's hard to get

Shipoopi! Shipoopi! Shipoopi!

But you can win her yet

You can win her yet

Shipoopi!

(ALL GASPING)

(INDISTINCT VOICES)

The footbridge.

Five minutes.

Miss Marian, you're late.

I came right here.

No, I meant that you were about,

well, I'd say about 26 years late.

Took you all this time to get to the footbridge with a fella.

If you wanna know the truth, it almost took longer.

Oh?

Halfway here, I nearly turned back.

I suppose I'm not the first to find it easier to think clearly

when not under the spell of your salesmanship.

Now, Miss Marian, surely you don't think

I've been selling you anything.

No. No, you've given me something.

That's why I decided to come.

Why I don't recall giving you anything.

Oh yes, you have.

Something beautiful. That's why I came.

I'm glad.

Please don't be afraid that I'll expect too much more.

One can't expect a traveling salesman to stay put.

I know there have been many ports of call

and there will be many more.

But that's no reason for me not to be grateful

for what you will have left behind for me.

Marian, I...

There were bells on the hill

But I never heard them ringing

No, I never heard them at all

Till there was you

There were birds in the sky

But I never saw them winging

No, I never saw them at all

Till there was you

And there was music

And there were wonderful roses

They tell me, in sweet fragrant meadows

Of dawn and dew

There was love all around

But I never heard it singing, no

I never heard it at all

Till there was you

There was love all around

But I never heard it

Singing

No, I never heard it all

Till there was you

Marian, there are a lot of things you don't know about me.

MARCE:
Psst! Hey, Greg!

Excuse me, I was expecting a cable from Hector Berlioz.

This could be it.

Huh.

(TRAIN WHISTLING IN DISTANCE)

What?

Who's the salesman here?

Looks like she's selling and you're buying.

I have to keep her off balance, don't I?

I told you that.

Well, she's so far off balance now,

you can't tell her from a catboat in a hurricane.

Listen, the band uniforms just came in on the train.

Tommy helped me collect. Here's most of the dough.

The people are gonna be screaming for music now,

so you gotta get out of here.

What time's the freight go?

9:
40 from the junction.

Well, it isn't even 8:30 yet.

Look, you wanna turtle-wurtle around here

and get yourself caught up in a bunny-trap, you go right ahead.

Don't worry, Marce. I'll meet you at the hotel in plenty of time.

Your commission.

Oh!

Now, I'll go collect mine.

(LAUGHS)

Never a peaceful moment in the music business.

(MARIAN CHUCKLES)

Now then, uh, where were we?

You were about to tell me what I don't know about you.

Yeah, well, we don't have to go into all that just now, do we?

No, we don't, or ever, for that matter, Harold.

The librarian hasn't felt much like doing research lately,

but she did plenty when you first came here.

Oh, about what?

About Professor Harold Hill,

Gary Conservatory of Music,

Gold Medal Class of aught-five.

Harold, there wasn't any Gary Conservatory in aught-five.

Why there certainly was.

Because the town wasn't even built

until aught-six.

You knew all the time?

I tore this page out of the Indiana Journal.

It was originally intended to use against you,

but now I give it to you with all of my heart.

But if you knew, why didn't you...

(GASPS)

Why you little...

(WHISTLING)

While a hundred and ten cornets played the air

Then I modestly took my place

As the one and only bass

And I oom-pahed up and down the square

Goodnight, my someone

Goodnight, my love

With a hundred and ten cornets right behind

Our star is shining

Its brightest light

There were horns of every shape and...

Sweet dreams be yours, dear

If dreams there be

While a hundred and ten cornets played the air

I wish I may

And I wish I might

Now goodnight, my someone

Goodnight

Goodnight

One Grecian urn!

Two Grecian urns.

Oh, that's good.

And a fountain.

Ah! Trickle, trickle, trickle,

trickle, trickle, trickle, trickle, trickle.

Stop. Stop, stop, stop. Stop!

Listen to this man!

He has something very important to tell all of us.

You gullible, green-grass goats!

Can't you get it through your head that you're being

swindled out'a your eye teeth

right now, this very minute?

There's a burglar in the bedroom

while you're fiddling in the parlor!

I'm talking about Harold Hill.

(CROWD GASPS)

Road agent. Highwayman. Pickpocket.

Pickpocket?

CHARLIE:
Same thing, oh-ho!

Oh-ho, same thing.

He's had his hand in your wallet, mister.

And yours, madam.

And yours, little lady.

Ever since the first moment he came to this town!

Why there is more documented evidence than you'll ever have time to read!

There isn't any band,

there never has been any band,

there never will be any band!

Winthrop!

And unless you track this man down,

right now, like a mad dog,

there won't be any Harold Hill either!

Because, he'll be on the next train outta town.

(CROWD GASPING AND TALKING)

Now you believe me.

So, what are we waiting for?

I want my money back!

Money back? I want his hide!

After him. And when you find him,

bring him to the schoolhouse. After him!

I don't believe any of those things he said about the Professor.

Try the low road! Look by the creek!

This is America. A man is innocent until proven guilty.

Don't you quote the constitutional to me, you young pup.

That fellow doesn't have an e plurbis unum to stand on!

Try the mill! Back at the privy! Follow me.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Outta my way.

(GASPING)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

(PANTING) You gotta get out of here, Greg.

There's an anvil salesman blew you outta the water.

Uh-oh!

Everyone in town wants a piece of ya.

Hurry!

Here, go out the back.

See you around the pond.

Good luck!

(CROWD SHOUTING)

MAN:
Upstairs!

This way!

Winthrop! What is it? What's wrong?

(SOBBING) I hate him! I hate him!

Who?

The Professor.

What happened?

He's a liar.

Winthrop, tell me what happened.

MRS. PAROO:
Marian! I can't find your brother!

He's up here!

Mother, what happened?

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

MRS. PAROO:
Winthrop, open this door, this second.

MARIAN:
He's probably out the window again, Mama.

(DOG BARKING)

MAN:
Check down by the banks!

Marian, let me in. Just for a minute.

You can't stay. You have to get out.

Please go! Please, Harold,

they're even talking about tar and feathers.

Marian, I had to see you. I was writing you a letter.

It's all right. Don't you know that? You don't owe me a word.

Not a word. Now, please, hurry.

I hate you! I hate you!

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