The Music Man Page #7

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If anybody can do it, I'll bet you can.

Out of a crowd,

I'll pick you for a hod-carrying, clay pipe smokin',

shamrock wearin', harp playin', Mavorneen-pinchin',

Tara's hall minstrel-singin' Irishman.

Be-gob and be-jabbers.

Where are ye from, me boy?

Gary, Indiana.

I knew it! Gary...

Where did you say?

Gary, Indiana.

Gary, Indiana, Gary, Indiana Gary, Indiana

Let me say it once again

Gary, Indiana, Gary, Indiana Gary, Indiana

That's the town that knew me when

If you'd like to have a logical explanation

How I happened on this elegant syncopation

I will say without a moment of hesitation

There is just one place that can light my face

Gary, Indiana

Gary, Indiana, not Louisiana, Paris France, New York, or Rome

But Gary, Indiana

Gary, Indiana

Gary, Indiana, my home sweet home

In fact, Gary Conservatory was my alma mater.

Was she now?

(DOOR OPENS)

Oh, why, yes. Gold Medal Class of aught-five.

Oh!

Ooh!

Howdado, Miss Paroo.

Howdado, Mr. Hill.

Oh, of course. Paroo.

I thought the name sounded familiar.

He wants to put Winthrop in the band.

We're not interested, Mama.

But Marian,

the boy might have his father's musical gift.

He does have me jaw, you know.

Oh, your husband musical?

Well, I'd like to have a talk with him.

I'm sure that we could...

Do you burst in on everyone's home like this?

Prying into personal affairs?

We're not interested.

Marian!

Well, that's one for and one against.

Now why not let the boy's father decide?

The boy's father is dead. Anything else?

Oh, I'm sorry.

But that's all the more reason that your brother

should have something like this.

My brother is an eight-year-old problem child

who can't understand why our father was taken away.

Would you care to explain it to him?

He's been brooding about it for two years.

As to your musical tricks,

why don't you go into business with some nice carnival man

who sells gold-painted watches and glass-diamond rings?

Musical tricks?

Well, Miss Paroo, I hardly...

I get the feeling she likes the idea.

Oh, a little cautious perhaps, but I admire that in a woman.

Keep me alive and I'll be back later in the week.

Oh!

(DOG BARKING)

One moment, Professor Hill.

About the boy's measurements,

I make all his clothes,

sleeve 21, waist 18,

crotch 14.

Fine! Fine, that's all I need.

Now, I must get back to the hotel.

Professor, I do hope you'll excuse Marian.

She's not really...

Oh, please. Don't worry about a thing.

I'm sure that at heart she's as lovely as yourself.

Good day to ya, Widow Paroo.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(HUMMING)

Has he gone?

He has.

And I hope not forever.

Darlin', don't you ever think about your future?

Gary, Indiana, Conservation Class of aught-five.

Now darlin'...

Now Mama,

surely a girl's future doesn't depend on encouraging

every fast-talking, self-centered,

woman-chasing, traveling man who comes to town.

And the fact that he claims his commodity is music does not,

in this particular case, impress me.

All right, darlin', all right.

Only it's a well-known principle

that if you keep the flint in one drawer

and the steel in another,

you'll never strike much of a fire.

Mama!

Winthrop!

Winthrop! I know you're out there.

(SIGHS) Winthrop.

Please go to the post office

and ask Miss Grubb if a package has arrived for me.

It's a book, the Indiana State Educational Journal 1901-1910.

Do I hafta?

You won't have to talk to anyone.

I've written it all down.

Thanks, Win.

What are you up to?

What do you need with another book?

I have a feeling this book may poke

some large holes in the Professor's claims.

Well, I give up.

At your age, if you don't mind my askin',

what kinda white knight do you expect to come ridin' along?

Well, I'm not waiting for Luther Greiner

who backs me into the Ancient History shelf

every time he comes into the library.

Oh, he does?

All I want is a plain man

A modest man, a quiet man

A straightforward and honest man

And not Ed Gammidge and that buggy of his

with the removable back seat.

But I'm not waiting for a man in shining white armor either.

My white knight

Not a Lancelot

Nor an angel with wings

Just someone to love me

Who is not ashamed of a few nice things

My white knight

What my heart would say if it only knew how

Please, dear Venus

Show me now

All I want is a plain man

All I want is a modest man

A quiet man, a gentle man

A straightforward and honest man

To sit with me in a cottage

Somewhere in the state of Iowa

And I would like him to be

More int'rested in me

Than he is in himself

And more interested in us

Than in me

And if occasionally he'd ponder

What makes Shakespeare and Beethoven great

Him I could love 'til I die

Him I could love 'til I die

My white knight

Not a Lancelot

Nor an angel with wings

Just someone to love me

Who is not ashamed of a few nice things

My white knight

Let me walk with him while the others ride by

Walk and love him

'Til I die

'Til I die

Hey, Zaneeta.

Tommy, Mom and Papa are on their way to the bank.

They could come in here any minute.

Ye Gods!

All right, then meet me after supper.

I can't. It's Epworth League night.

Meet you where?

The footbridge.

You see? Isn't that just what I said?

Last time the lumberyard and now the footbridge.

Then where will you meet me after that?

In the Black Hole of Calcutta?

Ye Gods.

I only wanna show you my invention.

What invention?

My music holder

for a marching piccolo player.

It still has a couple of minor flaws.

See, when you keep it tight enough to hold the music steady,

you cut off the circulation and you can't wiggle your fingers.

Meanwhile, you could go blind.

Shh! It's Miss Paroo.

Miss Paroo.

Oh, I'll be right with you.

MARIAN:
Oh, yes. That's a very good book.

(TELEGRAPH BEEPING)

Oh-ho, the Wells Fargo wagon is a-comin' down the street

Oh, please, let it be for me

Oh-ho, the Wells Fargo wagon is a-comin' down the street

I wish, I wish I knew what it could be

I got a box of maple sugar on my birthday

In March I got a grey mackinaw

And once I got some grapefruit from Tampa

Montgomery Ward sent me a bathtub and a crosscut saw

Oh-ho, the Wells Fargo wagon is a-comin' now

Is it a prepaid surprise or C.O.D.

It could be curtains

Or dishes

Or a double boiler

Or it could be...

Yes, it could be

Yes, you're right, it surely could be

Somethin' special

Somethin' very, very special now

Just for me

Mayor Shinn,

I've found some very interesting information

in this book about Professor Hill's alma mater.

His who?

His university.

I know all about that. In fact, that's the only thing

I can ever get out of him.

Gary Conservatory, class of aught-five.

Yes, well, if you'll just take time to read a little bit about the Conservatory

I don't think you'll have to look much further.

It's on page...

Papa!

The Wells Fargo Wagon's just comin' up from the depot.

I know, dearie!

It could be the band instruments!

The band instruments! Ha!

Excuse us.

Oh-ho, the Wells Fargo wagon is a-comin' down the street

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