The Music Man Page #6

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Cheep cheep cheep talk a lot, pick a little more

Pick a little talk a little pick a little, talk a little

Cheep cheep cheep talk a lot, pick a little more

Pick a little talk a little pick a little, talk a little

Cheep cheep cheep talk a lot, pick a little more

Pick a little talk a little pick a little, talk a little

Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep

Professor, her kind of woman doesn't belong on any committee.

Of course, I shouldn't tell you this,

but she advocates dirty books.

Dirty books?

Chaucer.

Rabelais!

Balzac.

Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep

And the worst thing is, well, of course, I shouldn't tell you this...

I'll tell.

The man lived on my street, let me tell.

Stop!

(SINGING STOPS)

I'll tell.

She made brazen overtures to a man

who never had a friend in this town 'til she came here.

Old Miser Madison.

Miser Madison?

Madison Gymnasium?

Madison Picnic Park?

Madison Hospital?

That Miser Madison?

Exactly. Who did he think he was anyway?

I should say. Showoff.

Gave the town the library too, didn't he?

Well, that's just it.

When he died he left the library building to the city...

But he left all the books to her.

She was seen going and coming from his place.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes!

That woman made brazen overtures...

(LADIES RESUME SINGING)

...with a gilt-edge guarantee.

She had a golden glint in her eye,

and a silver voice with a counterfeit ring.

Just melt her down and you'll reveal

a lump of lead as cold as steel here,

where a woman's heart should be.

He left River City the library building

But he left all the books to her

Chaucer

Rabelais

Balzac

Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep

Pick a little talk a little pick a little, talk a little

Just a minute here. We need to see your credentials.

Yes, of course.

I have just what you want over at the hotel.

Come with me.

Goodnight, ladies.

Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep

Goodnight, ladies

Goodnight, ladies

Goodnight, ladies

We're going to leave you now

Farewell, ladies

(CONTINUE SINGING)

Farewell, ladies

Farewell, ladies

We're going to leave you now

Cheep cheep cheep cheep

Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep

Pick a little talk a little, cheep

Oh!

(WHISTLING)

(DOG BARKING)

(RINGS DOORBELL)

Just a minute here.

Are you soliciting?

You haven't got a license.

Why no, Mayor Shinn, I...

I collect doorbells and this particular sample

has an unusual tone quality that...

Flattery will not avail you, sir.

Soliciting is statutory in this county,

malfeasance without a permit.

Why haven't you been down to City Hall with your references?

Must have just missed you. I...

Oh, Mr. Mayor, your hand...

What? What?

Oh, no, that spread of the little finger.

It's hereditary.

Oh, it is...

What does that mean?

That means that your son's little finger

is perfectly situated to operate the spit valve

on a B-flat flugelhorn.

Is that good?

Good?

It means that America has at last produced an artist

who can flugel the Minute Waltz in 50 seconds.

How do I get one of those horns?

Sign right here, Mr. Mayor.

That'll be $17, import fee.

Yes, sir.

Just think, I could'a missed this whole...

(DOG BARKING)

I haven't got any son!

You're unscrypulous, flew-by-night...

You unflypulous...

You be down at City Hall with your by-God papers at 3:00.

You mean this afternoon?

I couldn't make myself any plainer

if I'se a Quaker on his day off.

(GIGGLING AND INDISTINCT TALKING)

Shh!

(GASPING)

It's all right.

I know everything and it doesn't make any difference.

What are you talking about?

You were probably very young.

Anyone can make a mistake.

What?

No apologies,

no explanations, please.

I'm only in town a short time and...

The sadder-but-wiser girl for me.

Will you please make your selection and leave?

I have.

Well, what do you want to take out?

The librarian.

Quiet, please.

(WHISPERS) The librarian.

You're not listening, Marian.

Look!

Marian...

Marbles. Six steelies, eight aggies,

a dozen peewees and one big glassie,

with an American Flag in the middle.

I think I'll drop 'em.

No!

Shh!

Madam Librarian

Oh!

What can I do, my dear to catch your ear?

I love you madly, madly Madam Librarian, Marian

Heaven help us if the library caught on fire

And the Volunteer Hose Brigademen

Had to whisper the news to Marian...

Madam Librarian!

What can I say, my dear to make it clear

I need you badly, badly Madam Librarian, Marian

If I stumbled and I busted my what-you-may-call-it

I could lie on your floor unnoticed

'Til my body had turned to carrion

Madam Librarian

Now in the moonlight a man could sing it

In the moonlight

And a fellow would know that his darling

Had heard ev'ry word of his song

With the moonlight helping along

But when I try in here to tell you, dear

I love you madly, madly Madam Librarian, Marian

Shh!

It's a long lost cause I can never win

For the civilized world accepts as unforgivable sin

Any talking out loud with any librarian

Such as Marian

Madam Librarian

(GIRLS SHRIEKING IN EXCITEMENT)

(WHISTLES)

(GASPS)

(GIGGLES)

Ah.

But when I try in here to tell you, dear

I love you madly, madly Madam Librarian, Marian

It's a long, lost cause I can never win

For the civilized world accepts as unforgivable sin

Any talking out loud with any librarian

Such as Marian

Madam Librarian

No!

(ALL SHUSHING)

Mrs. Paroo, do you realize you have the facial

characteristics of a cornet virtuoso?

I don't know if I understand you entirely, Professor.

If your boy has that same firm chin,

those splendid cheek muscles, by George.

Oh, not that he could ever be really great, you understand.

Oh, is that so?

And in the name of Saint Bridget, why not?

Well, you see, all the really great

cornet players were Irish.

O'Clark, O'Mendez, O'Klein.

But Professor, we are Irish.

No.

Yes.

No!

(LAUGHS)

Well, that clinches it.

That clinches it. Sign here, Mrs. Paroo.

Your boy was born to play the cornet.

Oh!

Fine, fine.

That'll be $7 earnest money,

with nothing more due till the first installment

payable at the opening of band practice.

Thank you.

Oh, and of course, I'll need the boy's measurements

for his band uniform.

His uniform!

(BOY SCREAMING)

(GASPS)

I got ya.

Hello, son.

Certainly, certainly his uniform.

And there won't be a penny due until delivery,

just in time for the Fourth of July,

which gives him three weeks to enjoy,

to anticipate, to imagine, at no cost whatever.

Never allow the demands of tomorrow

to interfere with the pleasures and excitements of today.

Would it have a, a...

A stripe? A stripe. Certainly, my boy.

A wide red stripe on each side.

What do you think of that?

(DOG BARKING)

You'll have to excuse Winthrop, Professor.

We can't get him to say three words a day, even to us.

And if you can get him to play in the band,

you'll have St. Michael's own way with you.

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