The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! Page #5

One moment.

Over there - these seats are taken.

My dear, is something bothering you?

No, why do you ask?

You haven't said a word.

You seem... nervous.

Well, you know how important

this game is for the Angels.

Why he not here now?

I do not like to wait for him.

Mr Pallazzo, our head usher will

be here in two minutes. Please wait.

- He should be here now!

- I'll send him right over.

I do not wait for him!

He waits for me!

- Yes?

- Mr Pallazzo?

I am the head usher.

I am here to... Excuse me.

- Mr Pallazzo?

- Yes?

- I am the head usher.

- One second.

Ladies and gentlemen,

on behalf of the California Angels

and the City of Los Angeles,

on the occasion of the royal visit,

please welcome

internationally-renowned opera star,

Enrico Pallazzo!

Ladies and gentlemen,

let us honour America,

as Mr Pallazzo will now sing

our national anthem.

And now we'll wait

for the exchange of line-ups

and the start of today's ball game.

Excuse me, could you tell me,

is this an official bat?

The Queen's visit

has brought a sell-out crowd!

And the fans are being entertained

by the stadium's Angel Vision,

showing some unusual moments

in baseball over the years!

Sorry, fellas!

How about that?

Ladies and gentlemen,

now taking the field -

your California Angels!

For everybody's safety,

we ask that you do not throw

any objects on the field.

We thank you for your co-operation.

As the Angels take the field, we're

ready for the first pitch ceremony

with the Queen of England

ready to toss out the first ball.

How about that?

Let's have a round of applause!

We're ready for the start,

as these lovely ladies would agree.

Those are the players' wives,

here to enjoy the game.

What d'you say, Cummings?

Are we gonna do this today?

Do what?

Play ball!

Frank! Al, it's Frank!

The game's under way. Dave Spiwack

ready to face Jay Johnstone!

- Nothing to report.

- Don't worry, Al.

If one of the players is the killer,

Frank'll find him,

even if he has to search

every one of them.

...lead-off hitter Jay Johnstone.

Hello, pal. Let's see

if that uniform's on straight.

Good here. Now let's see the shirt.

You should take a large.

It's a little tight in the crotch.

All right? All set?

OK, play ball!

Strike?

Yeah, strike!

Stee-rike two!

Stee-rike three!

You're clean!

Have you found him yet?

No, and I've searched

almost everybody.

Yeah. There's only one more out

before the seventh inning stretch.

You're going to have to stall them.

Don't let 'em get that third out.

Right.

The Mariners' number four -

Armando Criscione! Criscione!

- Ball!

- Ball?

Ball!

Get... get... what the...? Get off!

Catch it! Catch it!

- Get 'em off!

- Go, go, go!

- Safe!

- What do you mean, safe?

I don't believe it!

Second base! On two!

There's a throw by the catcher

and now they've got Criscione

hung up between 1st and 2nd!

What the hell are you doing?

What?

- You're not supposed to do that!

- Wait a minute! Stop that!

Put that back down! Give me the ball!

I'll get you!

It's hard to believe,

but apparently the umpires

have got Criscione in a run-down!

- Safe!

- Safe?

How about that?

- Out!

- Safe!

- Out!

- He was safe!

- Out!

- Safe!

There's a sight I've never seen!

- Safe!

- What are you doing?

Safe! Safe! Safe!

- He was out!

- He was safe!

You idiot! He was out!

All right, you're out of here!

- What?

- You can't throw an umpire out!

All right, YOU'RE out!

Hold on! Even the guy running

the scoreboard says he was out!

And he's up in the mezzanine!

It's the third out!

I must kill... the Queen.

I must kill... the Queen.

Frank, it's the right-fielder!

- You're the boss!

- It was safe.

Now, we're going to take a walk.

How could you

do something so vicious?

It was easy. Don't forget I spent

two years as a building contractor.

Now, let's go quietly.

Hey, look at that! Let's get him!

Kick him in the balls!

I must kill... the Queen.

Look out!

The umpire...

He saved the Queen's life!

That's not the umpire, Your Honour.

Hey, it's Enrico Pallazzo!

Frank! Frank, help!

Frank! Frank, help! Frank!

Hold it, Ludwig!

Stay where you are!

- He's got a gun!

- I know.

You ruined my life.

Now I'm going to ruin yours.

- Leave the girl alone!

- I am. I'm going to kill you.

I see.

Two can play at that game!

- You killed him!

- No, just stunned.

He'll be all right.

Well...

Frank... it's horrible!

- It's so horrible!

- I know, Ed.

My father went the same way.

I must kill... Frank Drebin.

I must kill... Frank Drebin.

No, no, don't shoot!

Jane... it's me...

Funny-face.

I must kill Frank Drebin.

You love Frank Drebin.

And Frank Drebin loves you.

Jane, if you don't love me,

you might as well pull that trigger,

because without you,

I wouldn't want to live anyway.

I've finally found

someone I can love -

a good, clean love...

without utensils.

I must kill Frank Drebin.

It's a topsy-turvy world, Jane,

and maybe the problems of two people

don't amount to a hill of beans,

but this is our hill

and these are our beans.

Since I met you, I've noticed

things I never knew where there -

birds singing, dew glistening

on a newly-formed leaf,

stop lights...

I must kill...

Jane, this morning...

I bought something for you.

It's not very much,

but pretty good

for an honest policeman's salary.

It's an engagement ring.

I'd have given it to you earlier,

but I wanted to wait

until we were alone.

- I...

- I love you, Jane.

Oh, Frank!

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry that I yelled at you

yesterday, I really am.

Drebin!

I was wrong about you.

This city and the whole world

owes you a debt of gratitude.

Thank you.

And Monday morning

we want you back at Police Squad...

- with a promotion to captain.

- Mayor...

Don't thank me. There's someone else

here who wants to thank you.

- Nordberg!

- Hiya, buddy!

The doc says

I should be on my feet in a week!

- And back on the Force!

- Nordberg, that's wonderful!

Frank! Everyone should have

a friend like you!

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