The Naked Gun 2 and a Half: The Smell of Fear Page #2

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- How was your prostate operation?

- Fine. As good as new.

In fact, better than ever.

Look, Frank...

I know it's awkward, but you're not still

obsessed with our relationship, are you?

Obsessed? Who's obsessed?

Because you backed out of the wedding

two years ago? I'd forgotten.

Ancient history,

like the Democratic Party.

He was in tears.

In church, crying like a baby.

- Get a hold of yourself!

- I had to return 13 Cuisinarts.

- That's enough.

- I kept the salad shooter, though.

Jane, there you are. Hello, Jane.

Dr. Meinheimer.

Frank, this is Dr. Albert Meinheimer.

- Don't get up. Nice to meet you.

- Likewise, I'm sure.

I believe we met

at the White House dinner.

He never forgets a face.

He has a photographic memory.

It's a terrible thing that's happened.

I hope you find the people responsible.

I'm sorry I can't be more optimistic,

but we have a long road ahead of us.

It's like sex, a painstaking task

that seems to go on and on forever,

and when you think that things are

going your way, nothing happens.

Jane, about this man

you saw last night... Anything can help.

I gave the sketch artist a description.

Eh... Ed!

That'll be all, McTigue.

We should get that other artist. The one

that never dates and lives with two guys.

Right. Sorenson!

I'd like to see the rest of the Institute,

if you don't mind?

Of course.

We should start with the research area.

That's a good idea. It's right this way.

What can you tell me

about the man you saw last night?

- He's Caucasian.

- Caucasian?

Yeah. You know, white guy.

With a moustache, about 6 foot 3.

An awfully big moustache.

What's this all about?

This is our research laboratory.

Experiments are temperature-controlled

by the machinery below.

Our scientists have spent years on them

and are just now making breakthroughs.

Today, we'll join two compounds...

Oh, my God!

Thank heavens the bomb

didn't damage the research area.

Yes, but I can't understand

who'd do such a thing.

Jane, I think you

ought to know something.

- Jane, darling!

- Quentin!

Jane, are you all right?

I was so worried about you.

I'm really OK, but I'm glad you're here.

I'm sorry! Frank, this is Quentin

Hapsburg of the Hexagon Oil Company.

- Pleased to meet you, Mr...

- Drebin. Frank Drebin.

I believe I've used

some of your restrooms.

I'm... sure you have.

- Are you connected with the Institute?

- Not officially.

But Jane and I have seen

quite a lot of each other lately.

How is my little hell-cat?

Well, that's great. I've been dating, too.

Nice girl, an author.

Wrote the book on male sexual

dysfunction. You've probably read it.

- I beg your pardon?

- Please...

I'm sure we can

handle the situation maturely,

just like the responsible adults

that we are.

Isn't that right, Mr. Poopy Pants?

- That does it!

- Frank!

Quentin, maybe you should excuse us.

Anything you wish, my darling.

Until tonight, then...

I'm feeling blue

Just thinking of you

I get out of bed

Wish I was dead

And I hope you do, too

So I've given up

I've thrown in the towel

I've taken all the pills

The law will allow

And so I'm feeling blue

- Sir?

- Give me the strongest thing you've got.

- On second thoughts, a Black Russian.

- Very well, sir.

I guess Im just

Screwed

Frank. I thought I'd find you here.

Ed, sit down.

Pull up a memory or two.

You left before I could talk to you.

Is it just my imagination

or is the whole world crazy?

No, it's just a small percentage

of the population, Frank.

I hope you're right. It's just that

I don't know if I fit in any more.

You're still thinking about Jane,

aren't you?

She's part of my life, Ed. Always will be.

I think about her constantly.

But it's done.

When she said, "Get out of my life

forever," I knew it was over.

Sometimes I think about you and Edna,

and I envy you,

because you've had the same person

every day for over 30 years.

You wake up with her,

eat with her, sleep with her...

You make love to the same woman.

You spend every possible

waking moment together,

while I'm out with 20-year-olds who

just want to have fun and cheap sex.

Girls who can't say no,

who can't get enough.

"More, more, more! It's your turn now

to wear the handcuffs."

I just want to love, Ed.

I'm sure you'll find love.

- I already have one.

- It's from the lady.

Go to her, Frank. Go on!

I'll see you in the morning.

- Excuse me.

- Pardon me.

Sorry.

This isn't easy to say.

I'm lonely, I'm lost.

I need someone to hold, to love.

Frank!

Over here.

Well...

- What are you doing here?

- I called your hotel, got no answer.

Then I tried the station house.

I thought maybe you'd be here.

- Good evening, Sam.

- Mr. Drebin. Jane.

Always nice to see nice people.

Sam, play our song.

Just one more time.

Of course.

Ding dong, the witch is dead

Which old witch? The wicked witch...

Sam. That's enough.

Play the other one, please.

You can't let old hurts die, can you?

You walk out of my life,

no explanation...

- Didn't you get the letters?

- Every one of them.

I didn't open them.

I tore them up and threw them in the fire.

So you didn't get the cheque for $75,000

that your uncle left you in his will?

Why are you here?

I remembered something

about the crime.

Outside the window, I saw

a red van parked across the street.

Red van?

Thank you, that'll be very helpful.

You've said your piece,

you can go now, right?

That's not my only reason

for being here.

- I want us to be friends.

- Sure, friends...

I bet if I dusted you for prints,

they'd be your lover Quentin's.

You!

I see a certain kitten

still knows how to scratch.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that.

We're no good together.

All you ever lived for was police work.

You were always busy

saving the "end zone" layer.

Ozone layer!

Frank, you never tried to understand.

How can you say that,

when I sank every penny into buying

1,000 acres of Brazilian rainforest.

Then I had it slashed

so we could build our dream house.

Frank! How could you be so insensitive?

Insensitive? You think it's easy

displacing an entire tribe?

- You try it sometime.

- I'd better go. This was a mistake.

I don't know why I came here.

I was hoping that you'd have someone.

I'm single. I love being single!

I haven't had this much sex

since I was a boy scout leader!

I mean, at the time,

I was dating a lot.

- I told you the bombing wouldn't work.

- We had no choice.

Look at this headline.

"President to give Meinheimer

blank cheque at Press Club Dinner."

That speech is in two days.

- Don't you think I know that?

- We all know that.

Gentlemen, gentlemen...

I know that you're all worried,

and I agree.

There's plenty to be worried about.

Like this solar power plant, already

operational outside Los Angeles.

Photovoltaic cells.

They convert sunlight

directly into electricity.

Fluorescents. Last ten times as long

as a conventional light-bulb.

Uses only a quarter of the power.

Superwindows. They insulate

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