The Navigators Page #3

to make you f***ing swear, innit?

F***ing bollock bastards !

- (Laughter)

- Bollocks !

Cleaning, eh? He thought manual labour

were a f***ing Spaniard.

(Laughter)

'Ey, lads, he were... he were

in Sheffield today, Jack, and his pager went off.

(Whistles) This old woman said,

"'Ey up, Jack's f***ing backing up!"

(Laughter)

(Jack) Knackers !

Seen more bleedin' life in a tramp's f***ing vest.

Not time to clock off yet, Jack.

I'm not clocking off. I'm getting ready.

I'm gonna have a f***ing cup o' tea!

- And ignore your lot.

- Ooh!

- Thinks he's in f***ing Status Quo.

- (Laughter)

Oh, hello, Len. Are you still here, lad?

- I were just going.

- All the best, mate.

- It's been a pleasure.

- Thanks a lot. It's been a pleasure.

- Mr Jackson.

- Well done, Len.

- Hey, what a fella.

- See you later, lads .

- Take care.

- See you later, me old pal.

Hey, what are you lads...

what are you doing here?

- If he ever gets there. See you, Buddy.

- Ta-ta, Len.

(Car horn toots )

Hello, Len. Last day?

- Aye, that's it, lad. I'm off.

- Started as lads same day as I remember.

We did, that's right.

Difference being I've finished up a ganger,

tha's finished up an S and T engineer.

Well, it's not all it's cracked up to be, you know.

Not these days, anyway.

Not with these new lads about.

- Good luck to you. I think tha might need it.

- Same to you.

- Hey up, young 'un.

- Hello, Len.

- Where've you been for them? Grimsby?

- Fastest you've ever walked that, innit, mate?

- (Both chuckle)

- See you later.

- Remember, keep tha tool in tha trousers .

- All right. See you Friday night then, eh?

Ta-ta, lad.

Look at that. It says that

in thirteen weeks' time,

we're gonna be working

a thirty-nine-and-a-half hour week.

I know what they're saying,

but it don't work out in reality, does it?

- Oh, get 'em off, Paul, will ya?

- It's only a bag of chips, John!

I know it's only a bag of chips ,

but all this paperwork's gotta be sorted out.

- I'm sorry. It's a bag of chips .

- I know, but you're getting grease all...

- He's your new ganger now.

- He's me new ganger?

- Yeah.

- F***ing hell, we must be des perate.

You'll be des perate in a minute,

if you don't keep chuffin' chips off of thing.

What jobs? We haven't got any jobs .

- I can't fill these in with grease all over them.

- Hey, them chips smell nice.

You could have had some yourself

if you'd put your hand in your pocket,

- you tight bastard.

- Knackers .

- It's unbelievable...

- Hey up, lads, look at this. Eh? Look at that!

Eh? Free tin of sardines. I'n't that nice?

Must've put 'em in cos we put in a big order

down at the chip py. Look at that, Jack.

(Jack) 'Ey, I could have them for me dinner.

- What'd you say, Jack?

- I could have them for me dinner.

Piss off. I'm having 'em tomorrow morning.

I'll go next time.

You like a sardine, don't you, Jack?

I do, aye. Bit of sardine on toast with piccalilli.

It's f***ing lovely.

- (Laughter)

- Piccalilli?

(/ Upbeat film theme)

(Voice-over) 'As Britain's rail industry enters

a new era of change, many cquestions arise.'

'How will the new arrangements work?'

'Will your jobs be secure?

How much will change?'

'Ultimately, our success is riding on your skills ,

on the people who maintain the infrastructure.'

'Eleven thousand miles of track,

including bridges, tunnels ,

signals, overhead structures

and everything else that makes it work.'

'The foundation of the future.'

'ln the market environment we're entering,

the customer is the focus.'

'Customers have to be won

against fierce competition.'

'Then they have to be kept,

by continuous improvement in service,

which means continuous change.'

'l think this is a perfect cue to introduce myself.'

'l'm Will Hemmings

and I'm your managing director.'

'l'd also like to introduce you

to the biggest change of all.'

'A change that underpins all other changes

and I think a change for the better.'

'lt's a change of culture.'

'Unfortunately, the days of a job for life are gone.'

'But the jobs are there, for all of us.'

'lf we rise to the expectations the future holds ,

we can progress

as far as our initiative will take us.'

'There are no limits

to what this team can achieve together.'

'Let me leave you with my vision.'

'The end of us and them

and the beginning of a partnership for progress.'

'lt's time to move forward into the 21 st century

and lay the foundation of the future.'

Look at this. Are we getting a new sign

every couple of weeks now then, or what?

Hey, Gerry, what's this frigging notice

they've put on t'clock?

- What notice on clock?

- They've put a chuffin' notice on t'clock.

Harpic's just banged it up .

- Harpic has ?

- It's getting f***ing ridiculous .

- Oh, f***.

- What's it say?

You've got a right number, ha'n't you, lads, eh?

Money for nowwt.

Bloody hell.

That's our bloody part-time job

gone down t'drain.

- Can't believe he's done it again.

- What about my allotment? I'm in a right state.

- Look at this .

- "All staff must clock off as well as on."

Bastard Harpic. He can't do this .

He should have consulted me first.

- That's what I said.

- I'll go and sort it out.

- What's he done, Gerry?

- That bastard, Harpic.

- What?

- Eh?

Is that Harpic a bastard, or what?

Are you gonna tell him, Gerry?

Are you gonna sort it, cock?

He won't get away with this one.

You tell him.

Oh, hello.

Hello, Gerry lad. What can I do for you?

- This notice that's on t'clock.

- Yeah, well, what's wrong with it?

You know full well

you can't just bring in changes like that.

You're sup posed to consult it in first.

Look, Gerry, I mean, you're already here.

We're just asking you to clock out

so we know when you've finished.

It's on the time sheets. It was agreed years ago

we didn't need to clock off.

- Look, Gerry, we don't want any fraud.

- Are you accusing us of fraud?

Er,... did you not consult this in, Mr Jackson?

Er,... well, no. I didn't think it was necessary.

- Gerry, can you just give us a minute, please?

- Yeah, I'll wait outside.

Thanks .

- (Door closes )

- Bill, I'm only doing as I'm told.

Well, yes, I know.

Um, but it's... how we do it, isn't it?

Hey, Gerry, what did he say?

- It still stands, but I've got us a concession.

- What?

Don't have to clock up on Sunday now,

we can go straight to job.

But we don't clock on on Sundays .

That's no bloody concession, is it?

- We don't clock on on Sundays anyway.

- Best I could get.

- Bastard, he is .

- Listen, lads, we can't refuse to stay to time.

- Hey up, lads .

- Chips up, lads .

Forget about it for a minute

whilst we have us dinner.

- Maybe we should...

- Gerry. Gerry, just have your dinner.

(Chatter)

'Ey, another tin of sardines here.

Bloody hell, you were right, Paul.

- Another tin of sardines, mate.

- Ah, you see, what did I say?

He's a great lad, i'n't he, down at that chip py?

A few bags of chips, free tin.

- Free tin of sardines again, Jack.

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