The Navigators Page #5

- John,...

- Here you go, mate.

- ..d'you want something?

- I don't know. Me ap petite's gone.

- Bring me some change.

There you go, mate. That'll be... P2.65.

Aye. Where's me sardines ?

- Sardines ?

- Yeah, me sardines .

- Free sardines .

- Sorry, mate. No, we don't do them.

Well, my mate were in, what, couple of days ago

and he got some free sardines .

- No, not from here, mate, no.

- Yeah. From here.

He got free sardines for a big order.

That's what I've done, got a big order.

Free sardines .

Big order, sar... No, no. We've got some cod.

- Chips .

- I don't want cod or chips .

- Rissoles .

- I don't want rissoles .

- You don't want ri...

- No.

Well, we haven't got any sardines .

I'm sorry, mate. No. Jumbo sausage?

You either get me sardines or you get

a jumbo sausage up your f***ing arse.

- I'm...

- Steady on, steady on. Er...

I've got a chicken leg.

You'll have broken legs

if you don't give me me sardines, pal.

Sorry, mate, we haven't got no sardines .

- P2.65 that'll be.

- Are you trying to rip me off?

- No.

- Are you trying to rip me off?

- Come on, I want serving.

- Shut up! Keep your pissing nose out!

- Are you trying to rip me off?

- He a'n't got no sardines !

- Who's talking to you?

- I come in here regular.

- I know he doesn't sell sardines. Come on!

- Listen to the woman.

Shut up! Keep your gob shut.

- I want my sardines .

- We haven't got any.

- I want to get off home!

- Are you trying to rip me off?

- No!

- Yes, you are! You thieving bastard!

- Get off me, will you?

- You thieving bastard!

- Get him off me!

- Get off, Jack!

We was joking, Jack.

We were joking. We were joking.

- I'm sorry, mate!

- You lousy bastards !

- P2.65, please.

- 'Ey! 'Ey!

(Shouting)

- You lousy bastards !

- Oi! Oi! P2.65!

- Oh, come on, it was only a joke!

- Lousy bastards !

- It wasn't me! Get off!

- (Laughter)

(/ Emile Waldteufel: The Skaters Waltz)

(Music drowns out voices )

- Mum, we've got some brand new skates !

- Oh, look at those!

- Daddy bought 'em.

- Did he? Right, you come in the kitchen.

- See you soon, Daddy.

- See you later, girls .

- Bye.

- See you soon. Bye.

- New ice skates ?

- Well, I've been saving up a bit.

The, er, CSA have been asking about you.

- CSA?

- The Child Sup port Agency.

They need details like, um, where you're living,

where you're working, how much you're on.

They're sending me some forms

to help me get some more money.

- But you're getting some money.

- We can't manage on it, Paul.

Well, I can't give you any more money, can l?

- Can't you get some overtime?

- Overtime?

No, I can't. There's no overtime to get.

Well, what are we gonna do?

How are we gonna manage?

- Well, I don't know. How can I do overtime?

- Mum, come and look at our ice skates .

- Mum!

- I've gotta go. I'll see ya.

- Aye. See ya.

- You've gotta do something.

- Ohh!

- Oh, sorry, mate.

- What you doin'?

- Shifting clock.

- Gaffer wanted me to put it here.

- Oh.

/ Let me take you for a beer

We'll drink into a frenzy

/ We all come from Sheffield

And we sup port the Wednesday /

Come through. Come on.

- What you doin' there?

- Your gaffer told me to shift this clock here.

- Bloody Harpic!

- Why d'you call him Harpic?

Why do we call him Harpic? Cos he's clean

round the f***ing bend, that's why.

Stupid bastard, he is .

(Gerry) He's not getting away with that.

Ooh, sorry. Oh, sorry, mate. Are you all right?

Didn't see you there.

- F***ing idiot! Sorry about that, mate,...

- You all right?

- ..he's a bit clumsy. Are you all right?

- All right. Yeah, yeah. Go on.

Oh, you're putting that clock

up on that wall there, are you?

No, I'm riding a bike(!)

Better watch your back.

- Hey up, lads. You off?

- Yeah.

- That's us done.

- Gonna jump before we get pushed.

(Chatter)

- Paul?

- What? Ah, sh*t!

- What?

- That's got to go back outside, next to that skip .

- You what?

- What?

All that. All that next to that skip outside.

Take it all back.

We've just f***ing carted it in, mate!

What are you on about, "Take it outside"?

I'm on about take it back outside,

next to that skip .

- In the skip ?

- Next to the skip .

- (Softly) Christ!

- You take it easy, won't you?

- Don't strain yourself(!)

- That job's bloody suiting you to a T.

- I'n't it, John, eh?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You'll be getting a bloody suit next!

Right, there you are, lads. OK.

Here, cop for this lot, then, all right?

Right.

Here you are. OK.

Here you are, Paul.

- What's all this about?

- Cop for that.

Right, well, you see all this ecquipment here,

don't you? Right?

I want it all smashing up and putting in that skip .

- Smash it up ?

- Smash it up, Mick, aye.

- Look, there's nowwt wrong wi' it!

- I know, but we've got high standards now.

This isn't up to scratch. In that skip with it all.

We can't smash this up. It's good gear.

It's worth thousands of pounds !

- Can't you sell it?

- Sell it? What, to our competitors ?

Oh, come on, Gerry, wake up. Can't do that.

There's nowwt wrong with it. We've always used it.

- Bugger all wrong with that, Mr Jackson.

- I know, I know.

But the point is, you do what I tell you to do,

all right? That's the way it works .

- Don't you ever cquestion management?

- Never mind about that.

Look, get this bloody ecquipment and get on

with it. Do as I say for once without arguing.

Thank you. Very much.

- Right.

- (Muttering)

- You're not gonna change your mind, Mr...?

- I'm not gonna change me mind, Jim, lad.

Come on. Just get it all smashed up

and in that skip .

- Sharp! Come on. Chop-chop !

- Right, fair enough, then. Fair enough.

Go on, lads. Get smashin'.

One on!

This includes you, Gerry!

Come on. Don't just stand there!

- Breaks your bloody heart!

- Look at that, eh!

- It's worth a blood fortune, is that!

- (Mobile rings )

Yeah?... What?

Hey! Hey! Look at this .

Last week that were done.

It's not been used

since it were done, that, last week.

Stop! Quiet! Oi! Oi! Oi! Hang on!

Stop. Stop. Stop !

Mick! Mick! Stop. Listen. Right...

Hey! Hey! Paul. Listen, listen.

Quiet. Stop. Stop. Stop. Listen.

We've got a panic on.

There's, er, been a derailment up at Dore.

So cquick, into van. Get up to Dore, cquick.

I want you to itemise every bit of damage.

- All right?

- Hang on, hang on. Hang on!

I've just filled all t'sheets in there.

We're here for t'day.

Bloody derailment up at Dore, for Christ's sake!

I want you to go up there, itemise the damage.

Right? And be careful who you s peak to,

because l... I want this lot keeping with us .

No competition involved.

- Hiya.

- All right, lads. What's hap pening?

Well, we can't get on

till them blokes have finished.

Who are they, then?

They're all different gaffers, different companies .

They're all checking it out.

(Chatter)

Here's your big moment, John.

Go and sort it out, son.

- (Mobile rings )

- Hello, mate, who's in charge here?

You want to go and see him.

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