The New Guy Page #2

You're a fighter!

Try this!

Sh*t it! Sh*t it!

Say mercy!

You're almost

at the head of the class!

And, cut!

This is the part of my job I hate.

Expelling people?

No, silly. We're going

to double your medication...

...increase your therapy,

and you may have to stay another year.

Loser, how's it hanging?

That toilet-cam

was your best work ever.

Looks like I'm stuck here

for the rest of my life.

Or am I?

Hey! Hey!

What are you doing?

Halt!

Did you just break that mop?

Give me that!

Yes!

You destroyed school property.

You're expelled.

Yes!

I did it. I busted out.

I knew you had it in you.

Ready to be Luthercized?

Preach, my brother!

I'm gonna take you

from b*tch to bull.

You wanna get a reputation

at your new school...

...you'll have to crack

open heads, day one.

Find the biggest, baddest cat

and whup his ass!

Make sure everybody sees him go down.

Everybody sees him go down. Got it.

You know, some people are born

with that knowledge.

Like Barclay.

Who's Barclay?

He's the bully at my last school.

He might be born with it but with

my insights, street smarts...

...and knowledge of every action

movie, we're gonna perfect it.

Don't worry about that.

Happens every day.

Same cat. Never gets away.

Come on.

First thing you do is gouge the dude's

eyes out so he can't see to fight.

Hey, this kis in high school.

Then you're going to want to fight

dirty. All right, set your feet.

Spread your palms.

Tiger Claw!

Are you sure is not Tiger Paw?

Tiger Claw!

Now you're ready!

Just watch my hands.

Grab some rope.

You gotta build some muscle.

You act like you can't get up there.

Motivation is on the way.

Yes, indeedy, feed the needy.

There you go!

Luther, what are you doing?

Get up there! Thas it.

Whas that burning? Is me!

Just roll around.

You'll be all right.

If you can't act tough,

you gotta look tough.

Butch up, girlie-pants!

Got a sec?

What?

Phone call for you, warden.

My wife again?

I'll never get tired of that.

You talk the talk,

you gotta walk the walk.

Otherwise, you'll be lined in chalk.

Let me introduce you to somebody.

The Funkmaster.

Somebody, give me a beat!

Them crazy eyes?

Like someone hits you in the head and

your eyes almost jump out your skull!

Try it!

This is the "Brother,

where my money" walk.

Where it at?

About to bust a cap.

About to bust a cap.

Flare your nostril up!

You gotta open them up.

So everybody can see the rocks,

the boogers up in there.

Loosen the ass.

Thats too loose.

They'll play you like a b*tch, you

gotta hit them with the b*tch first!

Like, "Who's the b*tch now?"

Watch this.

Try it. Try it!

Who's the b*tch now?

Half Brad Pitt Fight Club, half Anne

Heche if These Walls Could Talk.

For your student I.D.

Your new driver's license.

This one's for the Player's Club.

That ain't right.

Really cock it! You know what

I'm saying? Cock it! Fire! Cock it!

Shoot the gun! Shoot the gun!

Tiger Claw!

Dude, pretty nice.

Now you ready for your new prison.

Mascot, you dropped your bagpipe.

Thank you.

Suck on that, pal!

Tuba midget!

Have a nice day!

This place is a zoo!

He did say 12:
30.

So where is he?

What the hell is that?

Good luck, kid.

Flip him!

Back in the truck!

Is that...

...Diz?

Oh, my God!

He's got kind of a...

...Brad Pitt thing going there.

From b*tch to bull, baby.

I saw a little Anne Heche there too.

Does that sound gay?

"Find the biggest, baddest mother in

the yard, and knock his ass out."

Lift your knees, maggots! Maybe we'll

win one sorry-ass game this year!

I'm gonna puke.

Use it. Keep looking

at the horse's ass and run!

Biggest and baddest.

More cheer, less pole dance.

Don't want guys stuffing

bills down your panties.

What panties?

Don't I have a dreamy boyfriend?

Make sure everybody

sees him go down.

Careful.

You mind if I sit down?

Wrong level, b*tch.

B*tch, say what?

I think we got

a serious problem here.

If is you, there's no prob...

Dude, whats with you?

Who's the b*tch now?

You guys might want to come

scoop up your friend.

Sh*t!

Oh, God!

What are you doing?

Knocking you into the hall

and me into the history books.

Who's the b*tch now?

You've gotta be kidding me!

Don't go that way.

Help!

Who's the b*tch now?

Coming through!

Look out! Coming through!

Take your hat off in school!

Lets have a round of applause

for Conner Maguire.

Everyone?

Come on. Everyone?

You!

Come on.

Don't be shy!

Stop it, all of you!

Hello, son.

I told you last time, you start

something, you're what? You're gone!

Well, my friend,

looks like is last call.

Last call?

He didn't start it.

I did.

Who the hell are you?

I'm the new guy.

How's the nose?

Shut up!

Look at that freak,

sitting on top of the tower.

Move!

We should unroll the welcome mat.

I should go kick his ass.

I've dreamed of dating

the expelled guy.

Expelled guys rock!

Later.

Later.

You're not going over there.

I wasn't.

Now I am.

Later.

She just dissed you.

Dude, shut up!

Hey, new guy.

Got a name?

Harris, Gil Harris.

I'm Courtney, thas Carmen,

thas Danielle.

How do you like our

little slice of paradise?

I gotta tell you...

...its nice to be somewhere

without bars.

You were in jail?

Did they give you a

full body cavity search?

Forgive my friends.

They get shy around strangers.

My fault, I talk too much.

Thas hot.

There's a party tonight at my house,

if you can come.

I don't make plans.

Not my style.

We love you, Rocky Creek!

We're here all week!

We love Texas and we love you too!

So I'm guessing it went well?

In 10 minutes, the first 18 years

of my life completely changed.

They bought it?

Things have changed.

You made it to the 50th

level of Kunark.

Better. I got invited to a party.

Dizzy Gillespie Harrison.

Excuse me while I do the bugaloo!

Whoa, slow down, funky white boy.

Did they invite you,

or Gil Harris?

Listen, the point is nobody stuffed me

in my locker or singed off my ass hair.

Please.

No offense.

Are you saying these chicks party

on a school night?

Courtney does.

That is without doubt the sluttiest

girl I have ever seen!

I know. Isn't it great?

You have to do her.

And while you're with her, think of me.

Okay, that sounded gay.

Courtney is expecting Gil

at the party tonight.

She's right, how would

Gil Harris party?

The question is, how would Gil

get jiggy with this chick...

...and make her say,

"Who's your daddy?"

While respecting her as a woman.

Diz, you ready for this?

My dad loves this bike more than me.

Thas not true.

No, it is.

He wrote it in my birthday card.

So please be very careful.

This is a vintage flat track

racing bike.

Its very powerful.

You have to know what you're doing.

Stand back.

I'll start it for you.

Remember, I won't always be around

to do that for you.

Courtney got Tony Hawk

to come to her party?

There's nothing cooler than that!

That dude's crazy.

Hey, man! These are Dockers!

I made it.

Bush!

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