The New Guy Page #3

Hey!

Courtney, you see that Indy 360?

Tony, please.

Randy, did you see that Indy Three?

I could do it again.

Have any trouble finding the house?

Well, aren't you the strong,

silent type?

Well, I...

Wanna come upstairs with me?

Wanna make out with me?

Wanna take my clothes

off with your teeth?

Okay, you talked me into it.

Aren't you coming?

Almost.

Courtney is such a slut.

You dated her for two months.

It was four.

Hey, new guy.

You wanna dance, new guy?

Know why I like it out here?

The view?

No, because of all these people around.

Doesn't it turn you on, knowing

we could be caught at any moment?

Yeah, well, that does

make things interesting.

Wanna make out?

Okay.

I forgot something.

Ready for dessert?

Gil?

Hello?

Whas the matter?

I can't believe it.

What happened?

Gil blew me off.

Sucks to be you.

Carmen, put it away.

Honey, I knew that boy was trouble.

I know what you're thinking,

"He's too good-looking for me."

?Hola, habla ingls? Hello!

Where'd you come from?

Exercising. Got a problem?

No, its cool.

What does that hit: lats, tris, bis?

These are bat-curls, for the abs.

Cool! Did you really blow off Courtney?

You can tell us.

You blow her off?

I didn't exactly blow her off.

Stop right there.

Any dude who disses Courtney must date

the most outrageous women on earth!

Hey, what can I say?

"What can I say?" You are the man!

You are the man!

I say you're a fraud.

I don't think you've been with anyone.

Yeah, you're right.

She's not just anyone.

This babe's got it all!

Yes, she does.

I bet she knows how

to make a guy happy!

I'd love to stay and chat...

...but Josefina's waiting for me.

You're not going anywhere.

Don't make me do crazy eyes.

Josefina. Exotic!!Me gusta Josefina!

Guys! Don't you see

whas going on here?

Yeah, to get chicks,

we gotta work on our abs!

Lets go. Come on!

Come on, up.

Ready? One, two...

I got it! Check me out, baby!

Bat-wings!

Hey, chump change, get down!

Bat-wings, baby!

Watch, everyone!

That bike won't even start.

He trashed it when he landed.

Please start.

Its a full-time job

trying to save his butt.

I almost got laid!

Did he say, "brake"?

I almost got laid!

Waiting up for me?

Yes, we are.

We?

Hi. Hey.

Dad, what is Miss Pierce doing here?

Kiki's here to help.

With what?

An intervention.

We're surrounding you with love.

Now sit.

Okay. Dramatic change in appearance,

lack of communication...

...altered patterns of behavior.

What're you on?

Is it crystal meth?

Is it the crank?

Are you riding the white pony, son?

No, I'm not on drugs, Dad. I'm happy.

For the first time in I can't

remember when, I'm happy.

It occurs to me to tell you that

denial is not just a river in Egypt!

Look, son, is all my fault.

I was so worried about alarms going off

at work I missed the ones at home.

I'll make it up to you. I'm quitting

my job so we can be together 24/7.

How will you pay the mortgage?

I'll sell the house.

Dad, do not, I repeat, do not do that.

There's no way for you to understand

this. But when things get truly bad...

...you got to make a drastic change.

Completely revamp everything

in your life to get what you want.

I do understand. I'm not sick.

I'm revamped!

Its very sweet. Underneath

the Tourette's and the crank...

...he still wants to be

like his daddy.

I'm so on to you.

You are?

You pretend you're not part of this

school, but you like being a badass.

You caught me.

And thas why I want to use you.

Okay, but only for a couple of years.

Come to the football game

this weekend. Nobody shows.

Its more acceptable to drink

and puke than it is to watch a game.

Its hard work, not caring.

If you show up, maybe some

of these other fools would.

I'm in.

What?

My grandmother's Albanian.

It means, I owe you one.

Whats that about?

Just asking the new guy a favor.

What could you need from him?

Just things I'm not getting elsewhere.

Come on, East Highlands!

Okay, ready?

Danielle finally dragged

you to a game.

I'm not at the game, I'm with you guys.

I just like to watch her jump around.

Yeah, right!

Ride him, cowboy!

Will you shut up?

Man, thats not funny.

Come on, East Highland!

Come on, people. Guys?

Hello?

One. One, two, three.

Two. One, two, three.

This is bullshit! We haven't

won in five years. Les forfeit.

We're dead anyway.

Ten, hut!

He's out of his mind.

Dead? Did you say dead?

All this hoo-hah about being dead

and not wanting to fight...

...is a load of crap!

Did we give up when Pearl Harbor

was bombed?

Didn't that movie make money?

We didn't give up then, and we're not

going to give up now!

American high school students

traditionally love to fight!

All real football players

love the sting of battle!

The only thing we have to fear is...

...fear itself.

What is wrong with you people?

Where's the hunger?

Where is the school spirit?

Washington High?

We're gonna beat them!

Lincoln High?

We're gonna beat them!

Harding High?

We're gonna beat them.

Yes!

Lets do it.

Les do it!

Thats my goddamn horse!

Hit them high, hit them low!

Break!

Yes!

Touchdown! Touchdown!

How about that, Highlander fans?

Thats our first victory

since the last Bush was president.

We won a game!

Can you believe it?

We actually won a game!

Go Highland!

What the hell's going on?

You're insane, but thank you.

How'd you learn to say "you're welcome"?

From an Albanian chat room.

You're impressed by a guy on a horse?

No, because he showed up for me.

Lets go.

She just dissed you again.

Dude, do you ever shut up?

Most guys would never go shopping.

Well, I'm not most guys.

You did say swimsuits, right?

Thank you! Thank you!

Sorry about that.

I been in prison a long time.

Now this is real music.

If I listen to this, I'll get you?

Thats what I'm talking about.

All right.

Danielle, I didn't see you come in.

Hey, Emily.

How's it going?

Great. How about you?

Great.

Hey, do you have the new Creed CD?

Yeah, I'll check for you.

Who's that?

Emily. We used to be friends.

What happened?

I started dating Conner...

...you know how things go.

I understand.

Come on, you're not the type

who'd drop your friends.

Time to go!

I'm shopping here!

You've been listening to this song

for hours! You're squatting!

Listen, bro, I've had a bad day,

so squat on this, pukeface!

Thats it!

Seth, you're not a bouncer anymore.

You've moved up.

Who can toss her better?

Would you relax?

Come on, I'm sick of this!

Diz, you made it!

Perfect timing.

I thought you never check

the EQ message boards.

Gil, do you know these people?

No.

Lets go.

We've found a pair of balls.

Wait, there's a name here.

Dizzy Harrison, pick up

your balls and scrotum.

Thats balls and scrotum,

at counter five.

You know what? I have all these.

Thats my microphone!

Oh, no. Please don't!

Harris, get your punk ass in here!

What are you doing here?

You stole my horse, maggot!

You know the penalty in this state

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