The New Guy Page #4

for stealing another man's horse?

Death?

This isn't Iraq, son.

But I can tell you,

is probably a hefty fine!

You know what this is?

Is a bill for manure clean up,

resodding the football field.

To top it off, somebody urinated all

over Mrs. Campanella's rose garden.

That was me, sir.

And you wanna know something else?

It was all worth it!

Come here! Come here!

That was our first victory in five

years, and is all because of you!

I love you more than my own

good-for-nothing son.

Sit down, take a load off.

We got a homecoming dance coming up

in a month and it has been the most...

...God-awful experience for everyone

involved. Right, coach?

You have any ideas on how we might

turn this thing around?

Good music.

Music!

Hey.

That is a fantastic idea, son.

You see that? Hey!

What kind of music?

The only music worth being called

music. I'm talking about the funk.

Hello, singing?

We can't play funk

without a bass line.

Or black guys.

We'll find someone.

We don't need Ditz.

Oh, you don't? So somebody else

is getting you paying gigs?

We headline at homecoming

in two weeks.

Someone talking to us?

I don't hear anything.

Its Diz.

Whas wrong with you people?

I was an a**hole at the mall.

World-class a**hole.

They're scouting me for A**hole

Olympics. I'm carrying the torch.

Come on, you guys, I'm sorry.

I got no good excuse for what I did.

Its not easy being the big bull.

You're the big bullshit!

Gil's the big bull.

Yeah, but thas me.

Is it?

So, what makes you any different

from any other high school thug?

Quit it!

It wasn't me?

Then who was it?

Him.

Hi, guys. Ed Ligget.

Tuba!

The marching band is collecting

bottles for the homeless.

Ironically, taking away

their only job.

Any donations would be appreciated.

You know what the homeless need?

A midget.

Why would they need a midget?

Shut up!

Hey! Quit it!

What a throw.

Little Ed, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm from a rodeo family.

You remembered my name.

Come on.

Whats Gil doing?

He's taking him up the tower.

Ed Ligges gonna get

his little ass kicked.

Who's that little dude?

Hey, Conner.

What did Ed ever do to you?

All right, freak.

We don't call people that here.

Danielle?

She's going down there with the geeks!

Emily.

Danielle.

Look, Emily...

I know.

You backed him instead of me?

Caught that?

Bullshit! My girlfriens

supposed to back me up!

You're right.

Your girlfriend should back you up.

Find one.

I don't need you!

I could have anyone!

Look, man.

I'm sorry me and the guys

pissed in your tuba.

You did?

Yeah.

I thought it tasted funny.

Another win for the Highlanders!

Mark's gonna help you pass trig.

You don't remember me, do you?

"Stop! Please!

Your ass is crushing my head!"

Oh! Was that you?

Highland wins again!

Damn! Thas what I'm talking about!

I'd like to introduce you

to a few old buddies of mine.

Hi, I'm...

...Hawk.

And I'm...

...Apache.

Hawk, Apache and I...

Were in prison together.

Mostly in the shower.

Can youjust smell the playoffs?

Before I met Gil, I'd have looked

at you and walked away...

...wiggling my ass

to show what you missed.

Yeah, well, the universe

is upside down.

And in a few minutes,

you will be too.

I finally understand the song.

Touchdown!

Unbelievable!

We're going to the State Championship!

The Highlanders are on fire!

Little spill.

Remember...

...turn, don't burn.

I want you to know that when you go

off to college, me and this house...

...roll with you.

Dad.

Do not, I repeat, do not do that!

Just roll around, Dad,

you'll be all right.

We're closed.

Hey, its okay. He's with me.

You're really good!

Best part of working here.

I ride the bull for free.

I get good tips for wearing

a bandanna as a shirt.

Watch it, hoodlum.

Thats Estelle. She must like you.

Hi, Estelle.

Hi.

Don't mind Estelle.

She's like my big sister. She worries.

What could she worry about?

That I'll end up like my mom.

Working days here

and raising three kids by myself.

I didn't know that.

Its hard to keep track

of the white trash clichs.

I'm not worried.

You're not?

No.

Thas a relief. You want a pad?

For what?

Estelle!

Look.

If I can do what I've done,

you can do anything.

I wish I had your confidence.

Don't ever wish that.

Why? You know exactly who you are.

But you don't know who I am.

Before I came to East HighIand...

You get good distance

with the skinny ones.

Are you okay?

Thats just it.

I'm not...

They killed Paco.

Paco?

Paco!

Black Spiders.

See this tattoo?

I don't need to hear it.

There's things about me I need to tell

that you won't like.

It doesn't matter! Anything

in your past, I don't need to know.

Lets just think about now.

But I'm really Dizzy.

So am I.

She is going to college, punk!

Hey, lady, nobody's stopping her!

Thats a buzz-kill.

Night, Estelle.

Ready for State Finals?

All I do is ride a horse.

I'm worried.

Those Drillers can be brutal.

The Drillers?

Rocky Creek High.

You know where it is?

I do.

Look, Danielle.

I can't go to that game.

I hate that school.

Wait a minute.

How can you not come?

Its complicated.

I hate it too, but if you don't

show up, nobody will.

Please, don't bail now.

Lets welcome our undefeated

defending State Champions...

...the Rocky Creek Drillers!

And from East Highland High...

...the Highlanders.

I can't believe those kilt-wearing

wussies aren't gonna show up.

Hold!

Whats going on?

Kirk, you're falling behind.

Come on, hurry! Go, go!

What a miraculous, momentous occasion

in Highlander history, sports fans!

With eight ticks left on the clock,

the score is tied, 24 all!

The Drillers are at the 50-yard line.

There's only time for one lastplay!

lf the Highlanders can stop the

Drillers, we're looking at overtime!

Who's that little dude?

Lets go, Highland!

Les go, Highland!

This is the biggest day

for Texas Five-A football...

...since Johnson killed Kennedy!

Come on, Highland!

Highland! Highland!

You understand whas going on?

Their team isn't killing us,

their fans are!

Put your heads in the game

and concentrate!

We got a split left quick toss, 29

on one-on-one. Duncan gets the ball.

No way, a**hole! Not Duncan! My team,

my game, my championship, my ball!

Just do your job,

and I'll do the rest!

Watch the back!

Red, 71, down!

Go, Rocky Creek!

Get out of here, Rocky Creek!

Defense! Defense! Defense!

Fumble!

Go!

Highland wins!

This is for you, son.

Thank you.

Go Highland!

No!

Is that..?

Hi!

Hey, Dizzy dipshit!

Where are you?

Yo, dipshit!

How you doing, buddy?

How's it going?

Who is he?

Just an old friend.

A friend of Gil is one of mine.

Travis.

Lonnie.

Pete.

Ed Ligget, tuba. How you doing, man?

Better now.

Whas wrong with you?

So I tossed a freak.

We discourage name-calling here.

What do you want?

You stole my championship, a**hole!

If you must talk like that,

I'll have to ask you to leave.

I'll leave as soon as I tell

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