The New Monsters Page #2

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Thank you very much

But I'm still a man

I could even be your father, for example

I hope this question isn't rude

I have a daughter about your age

What did you say your name was?

I didn't say

- Piera.

- Piera?

That's good, like my car

Look here Piera.

Piera! Look

That's the cars name?

- You named your car?

- No, let me explain

I had a secretary for 12 years

Truthfully, she was a

bit more than a secretary

How great for you! Was it romantic?

Romantic, what do you think? I'm

a sentimentalist above all things!

This necklace is lovely!

This is lovely too. What is it?

What is this?

Something typical?

Look here young lady!

Look, 99,979 kilometeters

That means that in 21 kilometers...

we'll be celebrating 100 thousand

What a car young lady!

I'll celebrate it alone,

it's 10 until the detour

Excuse me, but that's the price of the ride

If you ask for a ride, you

should be ready to pay something

I would be willing to take you,

but only if there were...

a valid reason

Do you understand me?

What do you do for a living?

Are you a salesman?

No, textiles. Fabrics. I work from home.

I have a special way with the ladies

Yes, because I am profoundly feminist

Ah, it's what they call black jobs

Holy Virgin, what an ugly expression

Why black? Do you think I swindle people?

Don't you know how many would

be on the street without me?

No one wants to work

nowadays! That's the truth

Young people today don't have the will

They just want to play guitar

I work and my friends do too

Very good, young people should work

It's better than taking to

the streets throwing bombs

Do they do that for you?

My child, don't

you read the newspapers?

Haven't you heard of the muggings,

of people being kidnapped?

The armed groups, the Red Brigade?

It's enough to just open a single page, look

What's written here? Here, for example

Escape? Tell me, I can't

see. What does it say?

FAILED ESCAPE OF THREE DETAINEES

Three detainees escape from

the women's jail in Bovone.

If women escape from jail

nowadays too, we're ready

You can't live in peace

nowadays, that's what I say

Bovone? Bovone is near here

The prisoners had a gun,

with which the youngest...

...gravely injured a guard

- How horrible!

They are Marica Svlatah, 39 years old.

Assunta Scandapico, 36 years old...

and Piera Puzzilo, 20 years old

Twenty years old!

What did you say?

- Piera?

- Yes, Piera Puzzilo, that's me

- What are you doing?

- Keep your foot on the pedal,

don't hit the breaks, go

on like nothing's happening

Like nothing's happening? Please!

a sidestreet, turn there

- What, are we in a movie?

- Do what I say!

Very well

- Take a right here

- Alright, I understood

- Keep going

- Be kind, what do you want?

- Stop here

- What do you want?

- Ah, look!

- What's going on?

A hundred thousand, exactly.

A fated moment

- Yes, this is fate

- Let us rejoice

No, I'm thankful. There's

no shortage of beverages

- Drink!

- No, I don't drink

- Drink!

- I can't!

- Drink!

- My god!

Can you tell me why you escaped today?

You should ask me why I

was there in the first place

- Why were you there?

- It's written there

I killed the director of a bank

- My god!

- This girl is a murderer

Come on, let's get back

on the road. Get it moving

It looks like it won't run anymore

- So now?

- It's got dirt inside, it won't run

- Open the hood

- It's not my car

Open the hood!

Push there please

Where is the hole?

- So?

- I don't know where to push

Imbecile!

Imbecile!

No one taught you anything?

Do you only know about women?

Go find a rag!

GREETINGS FROM FRIENDS

- God bless you.

- You too.

- Until tomorrow

- Have a nice day

- Hello

- Hello, Don Salvatore

- Hello

- Goodbye dear

Don Salvatore!

Greetings from friends

Did he see you? Were your faces bare?

Who shot him?

They shot at me.

When don't they!

THE RESTAURANT!

The bill please!

So we have two servings of pasta, one of soup,

two servings of cake, bread,

half a bottle of wine...

- Goodnight!

- Goodnight architect

- Do you have a place for eight?

- For you, always. We'll put these together

I come all the time, it's quaint but genuine

You'll soon see. I tasted

flavors I forgot even existed

- There's no places like this anymore

- It's marvellous, I like it

I came with my friend Indro Montanelli

the last time he was in Rome

- With Indro?

- He'll write an article

He writes what he wants with that pen

I'll go to New York next week for two days

- Do you like my dog?

- I have a headache...

I'll take your order architect.

What can we get you?

Pork soup for everyone to start with

Eight soups!

- And the house wine!

- How's the soup?

A quite sophisticated broth, yet delicate

Why don't you go to hell? Go to hell!

Cretin, if...

if your mother wasn't dead...

Why don't you go to hell

- You'll like this octopus

- Don't play with the food

And you keep insisting!

What did I do to you to treat me this way?

You'll see

But it will be possible

You were offended by that? Go to hell

You want a war? You'll get it

Idiot. You're an idiot

You're a cretin

You'll soon see, you son of a b*tch!

Cretin!

You'll see cretin. Come here

- What are you doing?

- Here you go.

I'll teach you to bother me

Understand? Stop bothering me

Oh, my foot!

- What's happening?

- I don't know

They mortar. They prepare spice like my mother

I'll strangle you!

You need exercise!

I'll kill you once and for all!

Go to hell

I'll kill you this time

I'll shove this up your ass

I'll shove this in your mouth

until it comes out your ass

I'm not a f*ggot, go to hell

Peace?

Peace

The turkey. They're killing

the turkey right there

They make everything fresh

Do you wanna go on or not?

You give up? You give up, huh?

Alright, now get under the faucet

Get under the faucet so I can clean you

I'll teach you not to bother me

You don't have the balls,

I can beat ten like you

I can't see! I tell you, I can't see!

It's true, I can't see

- Dry off with this

- Thanks

What did you give me bastard, ripe? Go to hell!

You're starting this again?

Eat sh*t!

Idiot!

Eat sh*t!

Cretin!

Look what you did

At least put your wig back on

Where is my wig?

- Where is it?

- It must be with the octopus.

- Damn.

- Where is the octopus?

What did you order?

Eight pork soups

This is disgusting!

Give me the plate

What is this?

It's all dirty. You really are bad

- I'm bad

- Yes

- You're bad

- No, you're the one that doesn't like me

You know I like you

If you liked me like I like you...

Go to hell

Ah, because I don't like you

You decide. Do I like him or does he like me?

You should both eat sh*t

- The clients are waiting...

- We add the sauce...

Put it on better, damnit...

- And?

- What's going on?

You're going like that?

Here it is!

At last! I'm as hungry as a wolf!

It's exquisite!

I like it without cheese

- Without cheese

- Well, I think I'll come back

- It's expensive, but worth it

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