The New Monsters Page #3

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- What is this?

It must be a secret of the cooks

- A delicacy

- Exquisite

- There's no more restaurants like this

- They even add grapes

What will the second course be?

We have brazed octopus,

intestine stew,

pork stuffing, fried sausage...

A fly. How could it have gotten in?

And spinach ravioli with cream sauce

We have everything, if we

don't have it, we'll make it

FIRST AID:

Come here dear

Forgive me for not staying but

I promised my mother I'd go...

to Princess Altopratti's

thing on the Lefebvre schism

I don't even know where the

house is, I've never been there

The only signpost my

mother gave me is a monument

Isn't it late?

I don't know, if they don't

let you go in talk to the owner

I'll be waiting

- Goodbye

- Goodbye!

See you soon

Thailand St.

Indonesia St.

Burma St.

On the corner of New Zealand

Oceania St.

How strange, I go round the

world but always end up here

Here's the signpost, at least

There's a man there, I should ask him

Good evening kind sir.

Could you do me a favor?

Do you know Cambodia St.?

I need to get there for

Princess Altopratti's thing

They told me it was behind

Mussolini's monument, I think

- My mother told me

- Oh!

But you're badly wounded kind sir!

What happened? A bomb?

Some thieves attacked me. Help me

You ask me for help, kind sir

What can I do for you? I don't know

I don't even have one of

those little first aid kits

It's in the Land Rover, I

take it when I go on safari

It's always useful if your ass gets gored

With a buffalo it's not so bad, but a rhino...

with a rhinoceros, you're screwed

Get me out of here!

Where to? I have a family reuinion

I'm talking about my parents, I can't take you

- To the hospital

- The hospital?

With pleasure, but I

don't know any hospitals...

I only know a private clinic in Geneva

I go once in a while to rest

You want a ride? I see

you've gotten comfortable

I didn't expect this, I've

never given a ride before

Tell me where I should go, because I...

am lost here. This shoe is yours, I suppose

Take me to the hospital, straight through here

Now I see, it must be the one near the Tiber

Let's try to hurry...

because I need to go back for

Princess Altopratti's thing

The old hag must be yawning by now

The hospital!

Yes kind sir. Are you

happy? Me too. We've arrived

Good evening all you kind people!

I have a gravely injured

man here that needs your care

Can you take care of it?

It's full, there's no room

A bus full of Dutch tourists flipped over

Well now! Flipped? Seeing that this

man doesn't speak, you could put him...

with the tourists. He'd pass

as a foreigner. Who would know?

That's not it. The hospital

is full! We have no room

I understand, but he's badly injured,

I found him at Mussolini's monument

He asked me to bring him to the hospital.

I brought him, now what should I do?

Don't waste any time, take

him to another hospital

There's one on the other side of the bridge

- It's just five minutes away

- So I should take him?

- Seeing that you have the means

- I'm the means?

Did you think this white car is an ambulance?

I am Joan Maria

Catalan Belmonte...

and this man is losing a lot

of blood and he got...

the entire interior of my

car dirty. So what do you say?

We say what we can say.

Take him to another hospital!

The Mercy, on the other side of the bridge

Very well. Are you sure? The Mercy?

Thank you for the information

Help

I hope I'll find the Mercy hospital quickly

It's full of tourists, there's

nothing to be done,

they always take the best spots

I know, today everything

is one problem after another

It's better to stay at

home than to be out there

If not you can have unfortunate encounters

The globetrotters that look

for rides, you say no...

and then they insult you,

this is looking serious

I vacuum, I always vaccumed,

always. I don't shoot up

They tell me:
You don't

shoot up? No, no I don't

Then you're old fashioned. I am as I am

I take a drink I vaccum and I take a drink

A good cocktail, by the way,

almost like drinking straight

Here it is. Please. Take a drink. Please

You don't drink. You're a teetotaler

This isn't a cocktail like my barman makes me

My dear barman at the club. They're explosive!

I also prefer this antique car

It's useful for many things

Mother and my friends tell

me it's a piece of junk

No, it's not a piece of junk,

it's a room on wheels

I take a girl, put her here

I go to a solitary place that's in touch with nature,

I lay her down on these soft seats...

and I give it to her good over and over again

If you weren't in such a

state and were a woman...

I would've jumped your bones by now

When I talk about these

things I get very excited

Look, out of curiosity. Sit

Sit, for curiosity, sit

Here's the Mercy hospital

Yes, Mercy, I think

Yes, we're here

Wait, don't move

What do you want?

Praised be Jesus and Mary sister

I have a gravely injured

man to which I gave succor

What should I do, do I go in with

a car or do we unload him here?

- We don't do first aid here

- Don't do first aid?

- It says there:
"First Aid".

- Until 11 at night

- Until 11?

- Yes

You don't help after that hour?

- No.

Hey, kind sir? Next time get assaulted at 9...

or 10, max, at 11 they won't help you

Sister, I'm Joan Maria

Catalan Belmonte,

devout servant of the pontifical throne

I must leave him, I have an urgent

meeting to discuss the Lefebvre schism

I don't know anything

I'll do everything. I'll

take him, put him in here,

that way you can take him

out when you open tomorrow

There are no exceptions for anyone.

Take him to the military hospital

I have to take him sister?

Praise to Jesus and Mary

Did you hear how that nun

was adamant we leave?

There must be an orgy among

the nuns and orderlies going on

I wouldn't have minded, I like parties

I can't feel my arm anymore...

I can't feel my leg anymore...

It's being in one position

so long! That happens

Also the humidity

It happened to me too when

I was a solitary navigator

Mother would tell me: "You don't

have balls, you're a coward,

as a man you don't exist."

Then I got sick of it...

and one day I said: "Enough!"

"I'll buy a boat and navigate

it around the world by myself."

That's how I did that.

I was a solitary navigator

Day and night, between the sea and the sky

The sea and the sky

Among nature, the master of the world

You don't know what it means

to be a solitary navigator

Alone, in the vastness of the

sea, in solitary meditation

in contact with purest nature

and then you realize: "What an idiot I am...

to take on this journey

that isn't worth sh*t."

I, of course, tell it as a feat of strength

- But I'd never do it again

- Help...

We're here dear

Sir? Sir!

- Yes?

- Where are you going?

Dear sir, I'm at my limit.

From one end to the other

I went to all the hospitals with

a man that's been massacred

by an pirate of the concrete

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