The Nice Guys Page #7

No, it was told to me

by a wise old Indian.

Of course I f***ing witnessed it.

-Right.

-What the hell's going on?

Oh, it just makes sense.

-It connects up.

-What makes sense?

John Boy. Oh, just something

that Blueface mentioned, yeah.

What do you mean, he mentioned?

Mentioned how?

Oh, you know, he...

"There's a guy coming to kill you."

That kind of crap. Yeah.

We should probably just stay here.

Smart move.

Unless, of course, he's up

there killing her right now.

Nobody's getting killed

at the Burbank Airport Hotel.

Because?

-That would be national news.

-Yeah, so?

Oh, so when's the last time

you were on national news?

-February.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-For what?

-I got shot, in a diner.

-Where?

In my arm. I told you this last night.

-We should call the cops.

-No. It'll take too long.

I mean, she could die.

You just said it was the right

move to stay down here.

No, I said smart move. Different.

(ELEVATOR DINGS)

-(BREATHING DEEPLY)

-(MUZAK PLAYING)

Munich.

What?

A guy without his balls.

It's a Munich.

Munich is a city in Germany.

Mnchen. Munich. Yeah.

Right.

Hitler only had one ball.

-(ELEVATOR DINGS)

-JACKSON:
All right, here we go.

(MAN CHOKING)

MAN:
Hey! (GRUNTING) Whoa!

(MUFFLED GUNSHOTS)

(PRESSING BUTTON)

(GLASS SHATTERS)

(MAN SCREAMING)

-(TYRES SCREECHING)

-(SIRENS WAILING)

Oh, sh*t.

(BRAKES SCREECHING)

-What are we doing?

-I can't just leave.

-Why?

-She's in danger, man.

-We have to do something about it.

-She's dead.

-What do you mean, she's dead?

-Come on!

-She's not dead.

-Open your eyes, man.

You don't know that.

-She's f***ing dead!

-You don't know she's...

(THUDDING)

(PANTING)

(SHRIEKS)

(BEEPING)

-What are you doing here?

-Holy sh*t, you got her.

You're supposed to be at Jessica's.

JESSICA:
Yeah, sorry, Mr March.

My sister kicked us out.

-She's having a guy over.

-Your sister's such a slut.

JESSICA:
Yeah, I know.

Hello?

Amelia.

Should you shake her shoulder? Maybe...

You know, my brother used to flick my ear.

Like that. I hated that.

-We shouldn't be violent.

-You got a brother?

-You could just hit her.

-Yeah.

-Really?

-Like really hard.

-I've got a family.

-HOLLY:
It's not practical.

JACKSON:
We probably shouldn't hit her

if we want her to talk to us.

It's okay.

You were supposed

to get those guys off of me.

Do you know who they were?

Do you know who sent them?

Yeah. It was my mother.

Would you mind starting

from the top because...

-Why? It doesn't matter.

-I'm sorry, it doesn't matter?

You just shot at us. I think it matters.

Okay, okay. I made a film.

I made a film with Dean, my boyfriend.

And the idea was

that we were gonna, you know,

like make this experimental film,

like an artistic film.

-Porno film.

-It's not a porno.

(SIGHS)

Look, do you even know

who my mother is?

Yes, we do.

We... We've actually met your mother.

(SCOFFING) What did she

tell you, that I'm crazy?

(STAMMERS) That I was just lashing out?

Something like that.

She might have mentioned...

Yeah, well, my mother is a criminal.

She's one of them.

-Who's them? What's them?

-AMELIA:
One of the insiders.

One of the capitalist, corporate suppressors.

You know, they want us dead, man.

We're just in their crosshairs, you know.

We're just pawns.

Gosh.

(SIGHS) Ow.

Hey. (WHISTLES SLOWLY)

And what does this have to do

with the birds?

JACKSON:
Yeah.

My mom's supposed to be working

for the Justice Department, right?

Sure, she's prosecuting

the catalytic converter case.

Yeah, only she's not.

She's not prosecuting it.

The auto makers,

she's gonna let 'em walk.

-But they have the evidence.

-Yes, they have evidence.

They have memos proving that

Detroit conspired to suppress the converter,

proving they would rather

poison our air than spend

a little bit of money.

But my mom, she's gonna say

that's not enough.

She's gonna lie because...

Because she's on the take.

Money again, right?

Mammon, that's her god.

That fascist crony...

-Okay, okay.

-...bogart!

All right, all right, just...

Just back up a little bit.

(SIGHS)

Why not just go straight to the police?

(LAUGHING) She is the police.

She's the head of the Justice Department.

-You... You've got a point.

-Okay, or the newspaper?

They all work together.

God, have you been living under a rock?

All right, so then your solution

-was you make a porn film.

-(SIGHS)

It's not a porno!

HOLLAND:
You know, I have neighbours.

-I made a statement.

-JACKSON:
Right.

And yeah, yeah,

my statement contained nudity.

-Porno nudity.

-AMELIA:
Art.

That's just the commercial element, okay?

Okay? Sid said we had to have that.

And the reality was

we were getting our message out there.

And... And it was all in the film,

names and dates and everything,

everything that my mom was doing,

and once it was out there,

once it was in theatres,

there's no way that

they could suppress it.

There's no way that they could cover it up.

HOLLAND:
So let me get this straight.

You made a porno film

where the point was the plot?

(SIGHS) What's your hang-up, man?

JACKSON:
It's not the sex.

It's... It's what's in the story.

My mom found out.

(SIGHS)

She killed Dean and destroyed the film.

-Your mom killed Dean?

-Of course.

-She killed Misty, too.

-And Sid Shattuck?

Yeah.

Okay, so it's like Jack the Ripper

and then your mom, basically.

(SIGHS)

-So what are you gonna do?

-AMELIA:
I don't know.

I'm just really tired, you know.

Uh, all right, okay. So, uh, you...

We're just gonna talk about it and

we'll think and you get some rest.

Yeah, just get some rest.

What do you think?

-I like her.

-I like her dress.

It's a nice dress.

But she's a loon.

According to her,

her mother's single-handedly

gonna wipe out all of Western society.

Well, yeah.

However, there are people

trying to kill her, right?

-Like John Boy.

-Who's John Boy?

-He's on The Waltons.

-No, different John Boy.

-Well, we think.

-Think, yeah. Pretty sure.

-(TELEPHONE RINGING)

-Can't be sure, though. Yeah.

Mr March, I just got a call from Judith.

She didn't explain herself.

Said she needed $100,000 in cash.

-$100,000? Why?

-I don't know.

I think she's involved

in something shady maybe.

Well, her daughter

certainly seems to think so.

What, Amelia? You found Amelia?

Yes.

She fell on our car.

We were just talking and she fell on our car.

Anyway, she's here.

You should come over.

I... I'll send the family doctor.

(SIGHS)

Okay, look,

-Mr March...

-Holland, please.

I've got a bad feeling about this.

Would you be willing

to carry the money for me?

I wish I knew who to believe on this one.

Well, the kid's a write-off,

I'll tell you that much.

Maybe they're both telling the truth.

We're downstairs.

She's coming down.

What do you mean,

they're both telling the truth?

What the f*** does that mean?

I got a friend, right?

Secret Service. Worked the Nixon detail.

This was after they threw him out of office.

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