The Night Before Page #2

No, no. Merry Christmas.

Bye-bye.

- Congratulations.

- Good to see you.

- Luckiest guy in the Park.

- I sure am. Bye.

Can I talk to you for a second real quick?

What? We're not doing gifts now, are we?

No, we're doing them tomorrow, but

this one I'm pretty sure you'll want tonight.

- What is it?

- You have been such a rock...

throughout this whole pregnancy.

You're like my Dwayne Johnson.

Thank you.

It's Christmas now,

and we've almost made it...

and you deserve this.

So Merry Christmas.

Is it cologne?

No.

Holy sh*t!

It's every single drug in the whole world.

Why are you giving this to me?

You've been so focused

on me and the baby...

and tonight I think

you should just focus on yourself.

Go out there, get f***ing wild, you know?

Is this cocaine? I haven't done cocaine

for 11 years, I don't think.

No one has, I don't think.

That's amazing.

Where did you get all this sh*t?

- Craigslist.

- You got it from Craigslist?

I just typed in the search "NYC drugs."

Really resourceful of you.

It's your last Christmas together,

so have fun. Enjoy it.

- Thank you so much.

- Yeah. I love you.

This is so great.

I'll have my phone with me.

I'll be home pretty early, I think.

Okay. I love you.

What?

What the f*** is this?

This is the Red Bull Limousine, fellas.

You are now looking at the face

and body of Red Bull.

Wow! Congratulations, man!

Right? Since this is our final Christmas,

I figured we could do it in class.

Seriously, this is what the spirit

of Christmas is all about.

A rich athlete finally getting

the corporate limo that he always wanted.

- Exactly!

- I think so.

Let's go, get in.

You gotta see this. Come on.

Cool!

Yo, it's the Red Bull Limo, guys!

All right.

Yo! What's up, everybody?

This your man, C-Rob.

We in the Red Bull Limo.

And we Dom P'in it, we have Cristal in it,

Hennythuggin' it...

and we got Red Bull!

I'm capturing this

on my Sony Xperia Ultra phone.

No matter what the light,

the picture's right. All right?

This your man, Chris Rob, coming at you.

What happening? Peace!

Peace!

And, Internet.

- His social media game is crazy.

- On point.

- Really on point, yeah.

- On point.

Five million people

probably just saw that.

Hey there.

Didn't wanna interrupt

while you guys were rolling back there.

Great video, by the way.

I just watched it.

That was fast.

My name's Joshua. I'm gonna be your

Red Bull-provided driver for the evening.

First stop:
Rockefeller Center, right?

- Great, thank you, Josh.

- Raise partition.

Nice meeting you, Josh.

I'm doing the hang-loose thing too much.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We'll call you. There we go.

Check out what Betsy gave me.

It's a bunch of drugs.

We eat a little 'shrooms...

to kinda trip out a little bit,

look at the lights, all the sparkly lights.

Let's start with the champagne.

Yeah, sure, yeah. Yeah!

Aim it out the window,

aim it out the window!

- So what's up, E? How's life, man?

- Life is good!

- Yeah?

- Yeah, dude.

How's the music going?

Any gigs coming up?

Not gigs, but gigs are overrated, dude.

People are just on their phones

the whole time.

- You know what I mean?

- Totally, yeah.

The thing I'm working on now...

you really have to listen to it

start to finish. It's a concept album.

What's the concept?

I'm still conceptualizing

that part of it...

- but it's all about who you know...

- C-Rob, will you sign this?

- ...more than anything.

- Wait up, wait up.

How's it going? Hey, merry Christmas.

- Photobomb!

- There you go. All right.

That just happens now?

People love C-Rob.

So how about Diana?

You talk to her?

How's things going with that?

Hate to see that one get away, you know?

- It's still over.

- It's over. Don't worry about it.

But it's okay. It's no one's fault, really.

We just drifted apart.

Look, we're at the tree!

Why don't we talk about that another time?

- What?

- Not now, man.

Gentlemen...

14 years ago to this very night,

a tradition was born.

That year some drunk, f***ing a**hole

hit my parents with a car.

So that Christmas,

I didn't have any family to be with...

but you guys were there for me.

But tonight!

Tonight's different.

We have mutually decided

to end this tradition.

Isaac's about to have a baby.

And Chris is just too f***ing famous

to hang out with us anymore.

But guys, earlier today...

I witnessed

a real-life Christmas miracle.

- Where the f*** did you get those?

- Holy sh*t! Are those real?

They are f***ing real!

Where did they come from?

It doesn't matter!

It's a f***ing Christmas miracle!

You killed somebody for those?

No, I stole them.

That's awesome! What a blowout!

It is the Nutcracker Ball!

Yes!

So I called the number on these tickets.

They don't give out the address till 10.

So that gives us several hours to hit

as many Christmas traditions as possible!

Let's do it.

And it's gonna be the

best f***ing night of our lives!

I'm so psyched, man. Awesome.

Maybe it'll be the new

Christmas tradition.

I don't know if we're really

replacing this with another tradition.

That was a joke, Isaac.

Give me some credit.

Obviously, that was a joke.

I am totally cool with it.

Obviously, he's joking.

- Definitely.

- Gentlemen, I got the sweaters.

This one's for you.

- This is for you.

- Nice.

Let's do this!

Let's do it. Hey, where'd he go?

Soup's on!

Hey, Thuwan! How's it going, my man?

Now it's Christmas. It's not Christmas

till we eat egg drop soup.

It brings me back.

Who are you calling right now?

- Calling my man Tommy Owens.

- You're calling Tommy Owens?

- Who's Tommy Owens?

- He's the best player in the league.

- Tommy!

- C-Money, what's up, my man?

Merry Christmas.

Tell him hi.

Hennessy.

We going to the Nutcracker Ball.

I got tickets for my boys.

I got us on the list for the party...

the after-party, the before-party,

every party.

Congrats, baby, you coming up big time.

What we do, baby. That's what we do!

Tell him to bring some green with him.

C-Money, while I got you on the phone...

I hate to even ask, but you think

maybe you could bring us some weed?

Yeah, I can get weed.

Look who you're talking to, baby.

- Come on. It's Chris Money.

- Smoke it up!

I'll see you at the Nutcracker Ball.

I'll bring you a half a pound...

and we gonna roll. Much love.

One. Chris love out. Peace.

How much weed you got in that box?

I don't know. Why don't we check?

Check it out, playa.

Someone call Snoop D-O-double gezzank,

because I got the reefers.

You have one joint?

She doesn't know that much about drugs.

The proportions of this sh*t is all off.

Dude, we need to get some weed.

Can we just not get derailed here?

This is not about

some famous athlete and his weed.

This is about the three of us.

This is our last Christmas together.

It is about a famous athlete and his weed.

I've been on this dude's team for six years

and he finally knows who I am.

If I can deliver this weed...

we could smoke with Tommy Owens

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