The Night We Never Met Page #3

have decided

to call out the grounds crew here.

Uh, the, uh, storm

that is brewing...

it shouldn't be with us too long,

I can't believe this.

But, hey, no sense in taking chances.

Where's it raining?

You know, driving over here...

Huh? Tell me!

Where the f*** is it raining?!

Sh*t... the pizza.

Oh, God.

Oh, great.

Hey, pizza's on fire.

hey, i screwed up.

Would you put it out?

There's a cappuccino place...

He is such a jerk.

Look at this.

I sewed these by hand.

Then you deserve what you get.

Oh, God.

These are good.

So what if he used your

curtains to drain them?

No. That's the...

This is the other guy.

This is t-the bad man.

Those are from the good man.

Mmm.

You really should meet him

one of these days.

Oh, that's it.

God damn it.

Has he no shame?

No.

Come on, just try.

I don't have to do anything

or be anything. Come on.

I don't have to do anything

or be anything.

Okay?

Good.

And...

I can love myself just

because i'm me.

Sam, girl on line one.

American accent.

Hello?

Where the hell

do you get off?

I'm sorry, who's this?

I'm ellen. I'm not your mother.

I'm not your wife.

I'm not supposed to clean up

after you,

and what you did to my basil plants

is completely unforgivable.

Oh, wait a minute.

You're Ellen from the apartment?

Duh.

Uh, you didn't like

what I did to the plant?

I thought that you'd be happy.

Happy?

You thought I'd be happy?

This is unbelievable. You thought

I'd be happy? You know what?

You're out of your

f***ing macho mind!

Mnh-mnh-mnh.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Next.

Mrs. Winkler...

could you send some flowers to

my tuesday and thursday woman

at the lion's den?

She, uh, sent me

a nice note.

"Mi casa es su casa.

Fondly, Brian. "

Ellen, hi.

I bought you a little gift.

Mr. Potesky, I thought

you just had x-rays.

Huh? Oh, no,

but I moved last time.

Maybe you should hold me down.

Hold you down?

Ellen, it's Aaron. He's getting

out of work early tonight.

Hi. I can't... I can't talk.

I have Mr. Potesky in the chair.

Tonight?

Oh, Christ.

I don't even know

what she's doing.

Isn't she supposed to be dead?

Game's starting.

Aaron, it's just two

more minutes.

Chuck Barber back with you

in the NCK Studios.

If you're an islander fan,

you'll want to...

Ellen, we're gonna miss

the 10:
40.

Who cares? Relax.

A foreign movie.

I don't read enough during the

I have a surprise for you.

Just hold on one second. What is it?

Okay, wait. Shh.

Close your eyes.

Why?

Because I have a surprise for you.

Oh, oh, come on, this is so stupid.

Come on. No, it's not.

Come on.

Give me your hand.

Ellen, what are you doing?

I'm adding romance to our life.

We're married.

We're gonna have a nice,

little romantic evening in this place.

Stay right there.

Okay.

Music.

Oh.

Back.

What is this?

This is, um,

you know Karen,

the receptionist at work...

she gave it to us

for the evening.

It's like our own little

romantic pied- -terre

in the city.

Ellen?

Yeah?

Ellen. Ellen.

Ellen. Ellen.

This is a slum.

I... I... it reminds me

of my grandmother's.

There's no carpet.

It's old.

I...

Oh, look at these.

Look at these paintings.

I imagine what she paid for this place.

So it's a rental, right?

She could probably own something

in flushing for less.

#... To dry my tears

# So what do I do with

the thought of you? #

# To forget you

is my greatest fear #

# I'd lose my...

Oh, sh*t.

It's the fun cops.

Come on,

I got to go to work.

I'm sorry, dude.

You know how it is.

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, sh*t.

P - Pastel, what are you

doing here? Oh, Sam.

What is it you're doing here?

Oh.

Bark, bark, woof!

How can you eat that stuff?

Sam, don't start.

Fine.

Hey, Pastel, bonjour.

You believe this?

No, I didn't know Shep

was crashed with Sam.

Who... who's Shep?

Hey, dude.

I'm a friend of Leslie's.

I got here last night. Morning.

Last night? You met him last night,

and already you're sleeping with him?

So what?

Get on my back already.

I'm not your little girl

waiting to be rescued.

Where did you guys meet?

Mm, well, a meat market.

Oh, Sam.

I am sorry you cannot deal

with rejection.

Oh, I'm being rejected.

I'm being rejected.

That's a good one.

Mm-hmm.

I'm not being rejected.

I'm...

I'm disappointed in you.

Who's being rejected?

Sam. Good morning, Leslie.

Hey, Shep.

Hi, Les.

Go ahead. Play water

sports with Tex here.

That ought to liberate you

artistically.

You're very hard on her.

Oh, you see?

Oh, you see.

Oh, everyone sees.

You want me to be

something you want,

not what I want!

What you say you want to do,

not what you do do!

No, I do do what I say I do!

What I don't do

is what you say I do!

I want to do.

I don't understand that.

Um, uh, uh, more coffee?

I... no, I can't deal with this now.

I can't deal with this now.

Uh, I have a rehearsal at PBS

for my video.

Not that you care even still.

Why should I care about that?

Oh, that's nice.

Typical male ego.

No, you leave Sam alone!

Oh, ho ho.

Well, Sam...

Will you tape it for me tonight

on your VCR?

Huh?

Please?

Sammy.

Hmm?

Excuse me.

Do you have any really poor-quality,

low-grade videotape?

That's it.

Now I know it's over.

That was a tough morning, Sam.

No, no, the music.

You know you're really breaking

up when every last song you hear,

no matter how stupid, suddenly

sounds incredibly poignant.

#... And I'm with you

This is the saddest song.

# And all that I so want to

give you, babe #

Thank you very much.

Yep.

Have a nice day.

She had no way of knowing

you were living there, too.

That's the thing.

It's almost like...

like I was meant to see her,

so it would finally sink in.

$4.50. no bag.

Save a tree.

I mean, it can't be an accident

that the guy she picked up

just got into New York

and happens to be

crashing at the place

that I happen to be subletting.

You know?

Hello?

Don't you think?

I mean, there's got to be

a reason for it, right?

Sam, there is no reason

for anything.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Remind me never to

invite you to a funeral.

Whatever happens, happens, Sam.

That's all I'm saying.

Pez?

Sure.

Uh, nah.

Yeah.

Ah. I can't make up my mind.

But you need to have

a little fun in your life.

Whatever happened to Catha?

We didn't combine well.

Well, why don't you ask Leslie out?

Oh, come on.

No, I... I'm not ready for

a relationship right now.

I can't handle it.

Well...

Can't even handle a plant.

On the bright side,

no sex is safe sex.

Yeah.

You know what I'd like? You want

to know what I'd like right now?

I'd like to meet a girl

from Norway...

who speaks no English at all and is

only in this country for two weeks

'cause she's gonna be flying

to Malaysia or Burma

and gonna stay there

for about five years.

That I can handle.

Pardon me.

Do you know if I am

Greenwich Village?

There it is.

Over there.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's over there.

It's over there.

Right here...

Will be a two-story atrium.

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