The Nightmare Page #2

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and the room turned red,

and I felt like something

was coming after me,

and I cuddled down

and covered myself.

It was my earliest memory

of the scariness

that happened to me

and continued to happen.

Laying down to go to sleep,

I would feel utterly exhausted,

almost as If

I had just been drugged.

I mean, you know,

having been in the hospital,

I understand what that's like.

It's just like

I had been injected.

And my eyes sealed shut.

My mouth sealed shut.

And It's as If everything

was shutting down,

except for my awareness,

my consciousness.

And then I could feel

a vibration.

Sometimes it was so intense,

it felt like being electrocuted,

but it was definitely

an electrical vibration.

I began hearing voices

and screams

and crying...

And all of this really

emotional drama,

yelling to crying,

but all negative emotion,

all of these different voices.

And then that is when

the shadow man

would come toward me.

Stupid, stupid, stupid,

stupid, stupid! Stupid!

And he looked just like

a three-dimensional shadow,

outlined, just perfect.

And he would walk...

Disjointed.

And he brought

the vibration with him.

It's as If

it was emanating from him.

And he would come towards me,

and I would just feel that.

Hear... hear...

I would hear

all the sounds of hell...

I don't know

any other way to put it...

and feel his awful vibration.

And I would have

a fight/flight response,

and I would completely,

you know, freak out,

and try to scream or get away.

And many times,

the intensity just continued.

I was very scared,

and I was upstairs,

and I didn't feel like anybody

was gonna get to me

If I screamed.

It's very dark.

And it scared me forever.

I mean, it really scared me

to the end of my wits.

And If anything

was gonna drive me insane,

it was gonna be that.

What happens is

when you're falling asleep,

You'll get an electrical shock

through your body

just as you're falling asleep,

and that's the usual indication

that you're gonna have

a visit that night.

Then You'll fall asleep,

and then You'll wake up,

and you're totally paralyzed,

you can't move.

Um, and...

There's static in the room.

And you're being visited.

They'll circle your bed,

and now and again,

They'll try and touch you.

The first one

is a generic shadow person,

which is just basically

an outline of me and you

on a sunny day, on the pavement,

on the sidewalk

in a 3-d form.

And the second...

the second entity,

which is the hat man,

seems to have a direct link

to them.

He's... he's a very

authoritarian figure.

He's very menacing.

He's very...

he's in charge of them.

His minions, so to speak.

And, um...

They're a team.

It's hell.

He's awful, awful, awful.

It all starts with that

electrical shock.

I have my two separate lives.

I have my life like

we're here talking about it,

and It's cool and I go to work.

Then when I go to bed,

I have this whole other life

that I have to deal with.

When it first started,

it was pretty intermittent.

It wasn't every day.

Don't know the age.

Around this time.

My brother didn't live

with us anymore,

and I had my room all to myself.

It's kind of funny

'cause I can remember

my bed had collapsed,

onto a box of beanie babies

that my mom collected.

My mom was a big collector.

And so my bed kind of pivots,

right?

On top of this thing

there's a frame,

the bed pivoting.

And I remember

the bed was pivoted,

on this particular night,

with my feet

closer to the ground

and my head higher up,

like a seesaw.

And I remember

the paralysis starts,

and I can see the door frame.

Like I can see...

I'm looking directly at...

you know, I'm looking at a wall,

and the door is right here.

So, here's a bed, there's me,

then straight forward,

there's the door that exits,

right?

And there's the light

from the hallway.

And I remember seeing, you know,

your traditional darkness,

your, you know,

everything kind of exists

in shadows.

I mean, it all looks like

It's moving.

All the darkness looks alive.

But I remember seeing...

People, beings, whatever,

just coming in.

They just...

they look...

they look like a...

If a person were to walk

in front of a light,

and their shadow

were to follow them,

they looked like an almost...

more shadow-like version

of a shadow.

Like... and kind of...

Just...

Didn't do anything.

Like, I remember now, um,

that they would... they just...

shadows moving in,

like, they would

kind of intersect the light.

I actually... I remember this

kind of well now,

because I was on

this weird tilt,

so it wasn't just me looking up,

or, like, being able

to kind of see around.

This was me looking

straight at the door.

And just seeing these things.

I remember in the paralysis,

I thought that they were real.

I always think they're real.

Even to this day,

I think these things are real

in some sense, um...

But when I woke up,

they weren't there.

It was definitely the first time

that I saw something

that made think

that this was more

than just a sleep disorder.

I do remember it happening

as far back

as when I was a little girl.

As far back as maybe

five or six years old.

And then the same thing happened

when I was about 15.

During that time,

I was a rebellious teenager,

so I was really out of control

and feeling, like,

unloved and stuff.

I don't know how I got that way,

but it was kind of like

a brokenness inside,

like, I was just broken,

spiritually broken.

And that time,

I was in a two-story home

in torrance,

the city of torrance.

It was in the middle

of the night,

but I was wide awake.

I was literally wide awake.

My eyes were open.

But I could now feel

this presence,

this evil presence behind me.

Lying on my side,

like on my left side...

I'm a side sleeper...

and then the door is behind me.

And... and then

I could feel the presence

just right behind me.

And I remember just trying to...

wanting to move and turn around,

but I could not lift a finger.

Again, it was...

I was just frozen...

Utterly in terror.

And it was the...

If I could describe

what death would feel like...

and It's a kind of horror

that is worse

than like in the movies.

Um, It's an icy-cold,

kind of dark

evil something's in the room,

and It's watching me.

That's the scary part.

That you feel a sense

that It's watching you.

And It's... and It's...

and It's making you feel afraid.

And it wants you to feel afraid.

I was a year and a half old,

probably.

And I was born and raised

in rural Vermont

in an old farmhouse about 100,

100-plus years old,

and I was in the middle

of the woods.

Um, so it was very dark

and very quiet,

just pitch silence,

which, you know,

itself kind of has a sound.

Um, and...

so here I am, I'm a baby.

I wake up and I can't move.

I'm in my crib.

And so I'm surrounded

by the bars

of the crib on all sides.

And above me,

at the end of the crib,

before the window,

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