The Noose Hangs High Page #5

from Lolly C to Lucky George.

That's right, Lucky George. Am I on? Okay.

- Don't you want to use a chair?

- Sit down there.

Well, here we go.

$2,000. There you are, put her down.

- What are you doing?

- Putting it down.

Not on the floor, put it down on the horse.

- Put it down on the horse?

- Certainly.

- What?

- I don't think there's a horse in the place.

- Oh stop. Waiter?

- Yes, sir.

- Can you take a bet?

- Yes, sir.

- Place your bet with the waiter.

- Give him the bet?

We want to bet a lot of money

on a horse called Lolly C.

Here's $500, put it on the nose.

Another $500, put it on the tail.

- Another $1,000. Put it under the saddle.

- What's that for?

- In case the horse comes in sideways.

- Wait a minute.

Take that $2,000

and put it right on the nose of Lolly C.

- Right on the nose.

- Yes, sir.

How do you like that?

Betting Nick's dough on a horse.

Yeah, and not even betting with Nick.

- Here's your receipt, sir.

- Thanks.

- And here's today's racing information.

- Fine.

- There you are, honey.

- Thank you.

Now let's see what we're gonna do.

- What's Lolly C on the line?

- Lolly C, let's see.

Lolly C, 30-to-1 on the line.

Wait a minute,

you better go up and get the rundown.

Thirty-to-one. That will get us even.

- Go up and get the what?

- The rundown.

- Couldn't I walk?

- Yes, certainly. Go ahead.

Lolly C.

- Where can I get a rubdown?

- You don't need a rubdown.

- I got something that'll make you well.

- What?

Tony's tips.

Eight winners in eight races yesterday.

How come?

They're pretty cheap,

50 cents for today's tips...

and $1 for yesterday's.

How come yesterday's cost more

than today's?

Well, they all won, didn't they?

I never gave that a thought.

Give me yesterday's.

Thanks a lot.

I got nothing but winners here.

I think I'll play the third horse...

Yesterday's.

Yesterday's.

- Wanna buy a dope sheet?

- No, thanks, we don't.

Excuse me, wanna buy a dope sheet?

Eight straight winners.

- Nope.

- All good ones.

- $1.

- No.

50 cents? 25 cents? Nickel?

- Play you a game of pool for it.

- You will? Okay.

Here's the sheet.

- How about a little side bet?

- Okay.

Say $1,000.

Who would like to buy a dope sheet?

Eight winners for $1.

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

Gracious me, isn't a $1,000 bet big enough?

- It isn't that, but I haven't got the money.

- That's all right.

You can give me your IOU.

You would take my IOU?

Now, don't get insulted.

I realize you're not the type of man...

who would give his IOU

to a perfect stranger.

So permit me to introduce myself.

Julius Caesar.

- Who would like to buy a dope sheet for $1?

- Now listen, just a minute, please.

Now I realize why you would take my IOU.

Allow me to introduce myself to you.

I am Brutus.

Fellows, Romans, and countrymen...

who would like to buy a dope sheet?

Eight winners for $1.

Come here. But I really am Julius Caesar.

- The second.

- There's two of you running around loose?

- Shall we play?

- Let's.

- Let's see who'll shoot first.

- All right.

See? I never lose.

- But you can shoot first.

- Oh, thank you.

I'm afraid you used too much English.

Attaboy. Permit me.

There you are.

- This is a rougher game than football.

- Yeah, if you wish.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome. You gotta call your shot.

- Thirteen in the corner pocket.

- I'm gonna watch.

Some shot!

Look, come here.

Honestly, these tips are no good.

I can give you a sure winner

on the next race.

- I got the winner on the next race, Lolly C.

- I tell you I never lose.

The guy's tip that we'll play never loses.

Lolly C.

You should bet on Lucky George.

I changed my bet

from Lolly C to Lucky George...

- because Lolly C is off her feed.

- She's off her feed?

- What does she eat?

- Her fodder.

Mr. Caesar?

- She eats her fodder?

- Yes.

- Well, what does her mother eat?

- She eats her fodder.

Just a minute. Look, Mr. Caesar.

Suppose a little old horse is born,

where's his papa?

In the pasture.

- Now does the little horse eat the papa?

- Oh, of course not.

His papa is in the pasture,

and his fodder is in the barn.

No more of the game now. Just a minute.

- Don't make silly of me or something.

- No. What's the matter?

- Mr. Caesar.

- Yes?

The little horse's papa, isn't that his father?

Well, how can that be?

The papa never saw the little horse's fodder.

- Never come home nights?

- This is no laughing matter.

There's another reason

why Lucky George will win.

Lucky George is a mudder.

How can a he be a mother?

Ain't a she always a mother?

Sometimes a he

is a better mudder than a she.

- How can you tell?

- By their feet.

Going someplace?

I'd like to speak to Mr. J.C. McBride.

Good afternoon, everyone,

this is Oscar Otis...

- Still not home.

- I guess it all depends on Lolly C.

Ted, Carol, I want you to meet

Mr. Julius Caesar.

He says that Lolly C can't win.

She just got through eating her old man.

Lucky George is gonna win

because he just had a baby. And then...

I merely suggested that he change his bet

to Lucky George because...

We don't want any of your phony tips.

I've met guys like you before.

- He's a racetrack trout?

- Yeah, quiet.

Listen, I've got a surefire thing

from a surefire bettor, so beat it.

Well, I'm awfully sorry,

but I assure you I'm a respectable citizen.

- Here's my card.

- Yeah, all right, go ahead.

They're off and running.

Menu is going to the front,

Flying Rhythm is second. Lolly C is third.

Cable Car fourth, and Lucky George.

It's Menu in front...

- Lucky George!

- Come on, Lolly C!

- Come on, Lucky George!

- Come on, Lucky Lolly.

And Lolly C racing strongly on the outside.

At the half, it's Menu still in front.

- Lucky George!

- Lolly C.

- Lucky George!

- Lucky George! Lucky Lolly!

- Lolly George!

- Lucky George!

- Lolly C!

- Lucky George!

Lolly C is second on the inside by a half.

Cable Car on the outside by a head,

and Lucky George.

Into the stretch,

it's Lolly C in front by a length...

Menu is second by a head,

and Lucky George.

It's Lolly C and Lucky George.

It's Lucky George and Lolly C...

as they come down to the line of finish...

it's Lucky George winning it

with Lolly C second, and Menu is third.

I'm awfully sorry,

but I wanted you to play Lucky George.

I know.

- I guess we owe you an apology.

- Well, that's all right.

- Can I give you a tip on the eighth race?

- We haven't got any money.

- I'll lend you some.

- No, thank you.

We owe a lot of money now.

If the man we owed the money to

and the man he owed the money to...

were as nice as you,

well, I guess everything would be all right.

I'm going to try the phone again.

A man can't stay away

from home all the time.

I do.

Tommy, there's very little time left...

and no possible chance of us

raising that money.

We've got to get Carol

out of this mess somehow.

Wait a minute.

Mr. Caesar, do me a favor, please.

Take care of Carol.

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