The Noose Hangs High Page #6

I got business to attend to.

- Glad to.

- You would?

Get up, Ted. Sit down, Mr. Caesar.

She'll be right back.

- Take it easy, what will you do?

- I'll ask Nick to leave her out of this.

- Suppose he don't?

- He's got to.

I don't care what he does to me, but yea...

he shall never disdain the lady's honor.

That was cute, wasn't it?

Get the telephone book

and look up the number.

Nicholas Craig, Nicholas...

- I got it.

- All right.

Call him up.

I'm going outside and get some air.

Hello. I wanna speak

to Nicholas Craig, please.

Where can I reach him?

Garfield 90042? Thank you.

To Garfield...

Nobody's gonna harm that Carol.

- Nobody at all.

- Hello.

- Is Nicholas Craig there?

- Nicholas Craig?

- Hold the line, please.

- Okay.

- You're wanted on the phone, Mr. Craig.

- Okay.

I suppose it's McBride again.

I'd like to meet that guy face-to-face

so I know who I'm dealing with.

- First booth, Mr. Craig.

- Okay.

- Hello, McBride.

- McBride ain't here.

- I'm not calling Mr. McBride.

- What did you ask for him for?

I'm not asking for him,

I don't even want to see him.

- Does he want to see you?

- Oh, yeah.

- Then call him up.

- I did call him up.

That's all I've done for 24 hours is yell:

"Hello, McBride. " "How are you, McBride?"

"Yes, McBride. "

McBride. He ain't here.

- I know he's not there.

- Well, what are you yelling for?

- I mean, after all...

- I'm not yelling.

A waiter came to me and said,

"Phone, Mr. Craig. "

- Mr. Craig ain't here either.

- I'm not calling Mr. Craig.

- Nick Craig is on the telephone!

- Well, wait till he gets off, then talk to him.

Look, I'm Nick Craig. Nicholas Craig!

- Oh, Mr. Craig. How are you?

- Yeah.

I've been trying to get you but some dope

keeps butting in wanting to talk to McBride.

This is little Tommy,

the fellow you said "12:00 or else"?

Why, you... If I had you here

I wouldn't wait till 12:00.

Listen, you. I don't care what you do to me,

but leave Carol out of this.

- You're telling me to lay off the dame?

- Don't call her a dame!

I'll call her anything I want to call...

- Over my dead body!

- I'll do that, too!

Listen, I don't care what you do to me,

but leave Miss Carol out of this.

Why should I? She's in on the deal.

The three of you blew in the dough

I owe Mr. McBride!

- McBride?

- Yes. McBride!

- He's not here!

- I know he's not there!

Now listen, don't you yell at me!

- I'm not scared of you! I'll fight you!

- And I'll fight you!

We better call it a draw.

Right after I talk to you on the phone...

I'd like to meet you in the alley

over by the Television Club.

- It's okay by me.

- In five minutes I'll meet you there.

- Don't have any tough guys to help you.

- I'll be there all by myself!

You're darn tooting.

Because I ain't gonna be there!

Wait till I get a hold of that fat...

Let him go.

- Where's the dame?

- She's at that table.

Well, keep an eye her.

Wherever she is,

the monkeys will be close by.

And at 12:
00 I'm gonna finish this deal.

And it won't be over the telephone.

He's mad.

So, Tommy.

The only thing for us to do is to get out

of town when they're not watching us.

I'm not gonna leave Carol all alone.

- Caesar will take care of her.

- Who's gonna watch Caesar?

The guy in a white coat's coming for him,

and I don't mean the Good Humor Man.

Never cross in the middle of a street.

- Want to get arrested?

- Oh, no.

- Yeah.

- Oh, no.

- I don't want to get arrested.

- We've gotta figure a way to go to jail.

Then we'll be safe from Nick and the gang.

- How are we gonna get arrested?

- I know what we'll do.

- You insult a woman.

- I can't do that. I respect women.

- Do you wanna continue respecting women?

- Of course.

Then we better figure a way on getting

to jail. That's it, you insult a woman.

We'll pick the first woman that comes along.

Come here.

Do this right, you understand?

Here's your chance. Go ahead.

- Hiya, toots.

- Toots?

Don't you dare call me toots.

I quit the mob 10 years ago.

I'm trying to go straight.

If you guys don't let me alone...

I'll get One-Eyed Pitsie after you.

You know what that means.

Now get going, take a powder.

- What happened?

- She's one of the boys.

Well, never mind. We'll try something else.

I have it, you'll steal something.

- We'll surely get arrested.

- Yeah, absolutely. Wait a minute.

See that man coming out of that restaurant?

With the coat under his arm?

Steal that coat, go ahead.

- Give me that coat.

- I didn't mean to steal it, mister.

I didn't know it was your coat.

Don't call the cops.

- I got a wife and kids to support.

- Here you are.

Thanks, mister.

Theodore.

Your way of getting arrested is no good.

I'm gonna show you how to get arrested.

Stand here. I'll show you what I mean.

You're in the way. Stand over here. Please.

"5890." You're gonna be a sergeant soon.

- You're under arrest.

- What about me?

And you, too!

- Who broke that glass?

- I did.

- I got them.

- I want them. I want to congratulate you.

You proved to me that that glass

wasn't shatterproof.

You should arrest this man for false

representation. He sold me that glass.

Come on.

Come on in the store

and pick out any watch you want.

I got a watch right here

I'd like to give to you.

Twenty thousand laws in this city,

we can't find one to break.

Now don't get excited. I'll get you out

of this mess and get you in jail.

I have it, and this one won't miss.

I'll call up The Copper Club.

That place is too expensive.

- You got to have your dinners financed.

- That's it.

We'll order, say 12 tables.

We go down there and eat plenty,

run up a big bill.

- No money to pay for it.

- What happens?

- We're gonna wind up in jail.

- That's just it.

We play our cards right,

we'll wind up with five years.

Swell. Now you call Carol...

and I'll take care of The Copper Club.

Come on.

Here we are all together again.

How are you? Brutus!

Julius Caesar, a Roman and a Globian.

The feedbag awaits.

- Just a minute. Feedbag?

- Yes.

You see, in racetrack parlance, that's

a receptacle that holds the horse's fodder.

Just a minute, Mr. Caesar.

No more talk about the horse's mother

or the horse's father.

I'm afraid you misunderstand me.

When I say mudder...

I'm referring to a horse

that runs in the mud, not mother.

- By the way, how is your mater and pater?

- My mater and pater?

They went to the theater

with my "brater" and "sater. "

- Shall we go?

- I think we better.

You will find that the main...

Trap door?

Oh, I say, it's much nicer inside.

They have tables. Shall I help you?

Come on up.

- That's better, there we are.

- Shall we go? Let's go.

Mr. Caesar, the tables are on this side.

Come on, they're waiting for us.

Take it easy now.

Don't mind my inviting Caesar.

He always talking about big money...

- so I thought we'd let him pay the check.

- No.

If he pays the check, we're sunk.

Mr. Caesar, do you mind showing Carol

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