The Nothing Men Page #5

(Thud)

Another groundhog day.

Mister personal. He' s late

again.

If you live so close, why is he

always late? It's personal.

(Laughter) Looks like Simon

smoked some of that sh*t before

he came in today. Looks like he's

on that ice stuff or something.

Looks like Wesley indulged in

something that night himself.

Hey Wesley, you have a big one

last night?

Hey Wesley. Yoo-hoo.

Wesley.

Look at those eyes. What you

been up to? (Slam)

Morning.

Sorry I'm late. We're not.

I had to help Garreth with his

homework. Wesley,

your watch.

You left it on my bathroom sink.

I was thinking last night about

all this conjecture. I was only

at that

factory for two days when those

men were sacked. I was told

that the manager knew for

weeks.

Told by who? One of the

workers.

Bill something. Here we go

again.

What were you doing at the head

office the other day?

Mister Henry wanted to see me.

About what? Just leave him

alone.

Can't you see that he's telling

the truth?

What's it to you Wesley? I

mean, what are you doing?

You f***ing him or something? Hang

on a minute, he must be f***ing you.

He turns up to work all chirpy and you turn

up with your eyes bulging out of your head.

(Laughter)

Jack, f*** you. I'm gonna

f***ing kill you.

(Groaning)

(Thuds)

(Crashing)

(Crashing)

I've just smashed company

property.

You can tell on me now. We're

all covered.

(Laughter)

(Laughter)

(Crashing)

(Laughter)

Look.

(Laughter)

(Soft music)

(Soft music)

(Soft music)

(Soft music)

(Soft music)

(Beep)

Female voice:
Hi there David.

It's only me.

Just letting you know I'll pick up

Garreth from soccer training OK?

We'll visit mom on the way home.

Dinner is in the oven. See you

soon sweetheart. Bye. (Beep)

(Soft music)

(Soft music)

(Click)

(Tapping)

(Ringing)

(Ringing)

Yes, hello.

Hello.

Hello.

(Soft music)

(Crashing sounds)

(Alarm sounding)

(Soft music)

(Soft music)

What's the matter Wesley?

Your boyfriend lock you out? A

lover' s tiff.

I think this must be my favorite

photograph of you Garreth.

You're so cheeky. So beautiful.

Handsome little boy.

(Thud)

Garreth! (Gagging)

(Wheezing)

(Screaming)

What's going on between those

two?

David.

Wesley, you OK?

You're a real friend. (Ringing)

Excuse me.

Hello. It's me.

Maggie. One minute.

I hate to be a bother Wesley, but

can I have some privacy please?

Yes Maggie. He's had multiple seizures

and he's been vomiting and I'm concerned

enough to call a doctor.

Just comfort him and I'll be

there as soon as I can.

David, this can't go on.

I'll call Dr. Framon now.

(Beeping)

(Ringing)

Hello, Percy. Mate, who's on

the phone? I'm trying to call

I have a new bloke, a spy.

Don't be silly. He's no spy.

His money's through and so is

yours.

You serious? What's the matter

with you blokes?

Your money is locked in now.

It's been processed.

So, Jack, can you please give

me some peace.

I f***ing love you Percy. I

f***ing love you. Boys, boys,

the money is there. We're free.

We're free boys.

(Cheering)

We're rich boys.

Listen, um, I have to go home

for a while. We'll talk soon.

The greatest gift is patience.

Patience itself. You know what I think

we should do just for a giggle? What?

Let's find out what this dick

is really about, right?

Let's just see where he's

going.

Buy a couple snails on the way

and have one last laugh.

F***ing A. I gotta see where he

goes.

Nice and easy.

(Ominous music)

(Scream)

Not getting away from me.

Jailbreak. I got something for

us.

Woo-hoo! He went left.

Come on. I knew he would. Come

on Vinnie.

(Clicking) That'll kill you.

That should do a world of good.

Just inhale. (Intense music)

Let's go home for lunch.

(Laughter)

(Intense music)

(Intense music)

Sh*t, he does go home for

lunch. See!

Let's go back and party. Bullshit.

I want to see what goes on.

I'm here Maggie. Have you

called Dr. Framon?

Yes, of course. Oh, hello

Garreth.

Oh, missed you. How was your

day?

His day has been bad David. He

needs to be

in a hospital. No, he's fine

here with me Maggie.

We're taking a trip, aren't we?

He can't go

anywhere. Look, I'm with him everyday.

I change him. I bathe him.

I clean him up when he's done.

You don't see him

like this. You know, David,

I love him too.

No, I'm his mother and

I love him Maggie.

Don't we Garreth?

You know what dad did yesterday?

I smashed a furnace with a

sledgehammer.

(Laughter)

(Crackling)

(Intense music)

(Rustling)

Oh sh*t.

Des, check that out.

(Laughter) Shut up. You want to

get us caught?

Who's that kid? Let's get

going.

He fooled you. You sat there like

imbeciles thinking he was a spy.

Only because Jack and Des did you fuckwit.

I made a few phone calls.

Oh, he's a spy.

Shut up you d*ckhead. We'll see

who has the last laugh.

We're gonna play chess tonight.

You can be white and I will be

black.

(Intense music)

(Engine)

Some f***ing sports star he

turned out to be.

Freak.

Gold medal in the wheelchair

olympics.

(Laughter) Can you see him

playing basketball?

(Laughter)

Hey!

Afternoon gentlemen.

What's so funny? Oh, we were

wrong about you David.

You're not such a bad bloke.

Really? David have some

marijuana mate. Simon,

marijuana you keep.

He's already brain dead.

Can't begin to tell you how

sorry we are David.

Treating you the way we did.

We thought you were a f***ing

spy.

How silly are we?

Oh well, it happens.

Yeah, it certainly does.

I tell you what mate. Let's

start fresh.

I want you to sit down. We'll

have a talk.

What would you like to talk about?

Tell us some more about your boy.

Oh, well, apart from his

intelligence, he's

a wonderful sportsman.

He won his school age swimming

championship a month ago.

Oh really. We heard maybe he wasn't

such a good swimmer, didn't we?

Oh and his basketball team won the

state championship last year.

I bet he jumps really high

David.

He's magical to watch. Magical.

Where's Wesley?

Come on David.

You're full of sh*t.

Garreth is intelligent and

handsome. Like me?

No Vince, he's popular with the

girls. (Laughter)

We all have to face our little

secrets sooner or later.

Hey, we all had guesses what

your boy really looks like.

How big and strong he is.

Come on David. Last chance to

come clean.

My boy is everything I told

you. F***ing can't help

himself.

Can he? I thought he looked

something like this.

(Moaning) (Laughter)

We close mate? No.

Hey you don't recognize him, do

you?

(Moaning)

See what bullshit can do David?

My daddy.

I'm dribbling daddy.

(Ominous music)

Jack, he gets the point.

Jack, no more.

(Ominous music)

Stop it!

You have no right to do that.

You have no right to do that to

my son.

Look at you. You're all f***ing

monsters.

Serves you right you prick.

Personal enough for you? Get

personal.

(Engine)

Wanker.

(Moaning)

Must be beer o'clock.

What's wrong?

You guys are laughing.

(Ominous music)

(Ominous music)

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