The Object of Beauty

You know De Vicco too?

- Yeah, from the Four Seasons.

He showed us around

the vineyards in Toscany.

It was beautiful.

He showed us around.

We did the taste test, you know?

We tasted the wine.

He doesn't speak Italian.

He also doesn't drink much.

I guess he likes to keep

his head clear for business.

Your credit card's been refused.

What?

Obviously there's some computer error.

We phoned American Express.

Could we discuss it over here?

Excuse me.

I understand there's

a problem with the card.

You won't take a check?

What do you want me to do?

It's a computer error,

believe me.

Can the management offer anyone a drink?

But I had to write it.

It was an important business dinner

and I'd forgotten my credits cards.

The check?

It's 400 Pounds or so.

487 Pounds probably.

Could you hang on a second, please?

There's someone at the door.

Come in.

I realize the account is

slightly more overdrawn...

...but it would be crazy for the bank

to even think of stopping my credit.

Granted, yes.

I could sell some of my American stocks.

But, but why?

The market is awful...

And when the market's awful,

Binky doesn't go to market.

But I am on the verge of

something very lucrative.

So for you to even be talking

about dishonoring my checks...

...puts me in a very sweaty mode.

How can you say that?

I assure you, I appreciate

the bank's position...

...but the bank is not in jeopardy.

I'm asking for two weeks' time.

In two weeks time I will be in the black.

I promise I won't write no more checks.

Thanks, bye.

Jerk.

How much are you talking about?

Nothing. 4,000 Pounds.

The Hotel's pushing me to pay

the bill, that's another 6,000...

...and, apparently,

it's full steam ahead.

Can't you just put that on the Amex?

I could, if I wanted it to

bounce several miles...

...it's a problem, I mean,

not a problem problem.

I just gotta have a little cash, you know...

...until that cocoa gets off

the dock in Sierra Leone.

Poor Jake. Everything's gonna be

all right. It always is.

What do these people want?

I mean, spleen?

God damn grapefruit.

How you can eat all that you do and

stay so thin I'll never know.

I'm just lucky, I guess.

I've been thinking.

How much could you say

that this is worth?

Nothing doing.

- 40, 50 thousand dollars?

Jake, you know what that means to me.

I'll get you another one.

I'll get you two of them.

It's beautiful and all this crap,

but times are tough.

When times are tough what

a thing like-this for?

Well, I love my little Henry Moore.

Stop it.

You know I hate that...

...especially when I'm eating.

You don't have to worry, baby.

Everything's gonna be all right.

It always is.

You're so damn smart.

I have nothing personal against

this handicapped girl.

Not that word.

This handicapped woman, then.

- No, not handicapped.

What are we talking about,

then?

We don't sanction the use

the word 'handicapped'.

'Hearing impaired'.

Obviously I've nothing personal

against this...

...hearing impaired person...

...but the fact that she can't speak

or hear is a pathetic reason...

...but the fact that she can't speak

or hear is a pathetic reason...

...to deny her the chance of

a very menial job of work.

Chicken Farsi again?

- It was either that or the Duck...

Victor, have a word with

the guests in 327-328, will you?

Their Amex imprint was refused

although I'm sure...

...it's just a temporary cash flow hiccough.

But I retire in June, Victor.

I want to leave here on a seamless

cloud of perfection.

All right. Seamless.

Sorry to disturb you.

A great Hotel is like an ocean

going lilith, Mrs. Doughty.

Stewards with white gloves in the lounge...

...and the burlesque stoken down below.

And it all must mesh...

seamlessly.

With this person, I see complications

arising with the rest of the staff.

Communication, what have you.

- Yes, of course. Communication.

My husband's brother 'communicates'.

He's a features writer for the Times.

I'm afraid I don't see it working

from our point of view.

He's doing an expose article...

...on job discrimination.

This is just what he's looking for.

Very well.

A trial period.

Say, a week as long as she

keeps out of everyone's way.

I don't want you to think

don't have a heart here.

This is crazy.

Why am I standing here with you?

Because the light's red.

Jake. You know what I mean.

Why am I letting you do this?

I'm not letting you do this.

- Let's find out the value of the thing.

At the present time. It's important

to know these things.

Important for who?

- Ah, for our insurance.

Don't you worry.

I'm not letting him sell you.

I'd say...

...about 20,000 Pounds

at current market values.

It's one of a limited edition

of, I think, yes, nine.

None of the others are available

at the moment, as far as I know.

An exquisite piece.

How long have you had

it, Mr. Bartholemew?

3 years.

And may I ask how much you

originally paid for it?

It was a gift.

20,000 Pounds?

That's, what, $32,000 or so?

That's all?

Well, you said yourself

it's an exquisite piece.

Come on, you can do better than that.

That's roughly what we'd pay for it.

You could put it up for auction.

But prices there fluctuate.

Up, and down.

If we put it up for auction, would

you invite a lot of Japanese?

We're not sure we want to

get rid of it at this time.

But, if we do,

we'll come to you.

It could be a quick sale?

Of course. I'm sure we could

get you the top price.

It'd really very sporting of you

to keep it in a hotel suite.

It would be a shame to keep it locked away.

I'm sure you're well covered.

- Yes, we're covered.

Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

I've got a very naughty idea.

You heard what that nice

man said about hotels?

Well, why don't we take it and claim on it?

That way you can have your money

and I get to keep my Henry Moore.

A touch risky, I'd say.

- How?

It's so small, it could fit in a shoebox.

Anybody could've taken it.

It could've just disappeared.

I know Joan would keep it

for me if I ask her.

Well, it is against the law.

Of course, prison is one way of

cutting down on our hotel bills.

You just better make sure our

insurance is up to date...

...because I might just make it

disappear at any time.

Maybe.

All our suites come in a different

style. She must really like this one.

It must be very difficult for her.

No, not really.

Jenny's survivor.

Been in the home...

from the time she was six.

The poor little child,

her parents dead.

She doesn't make friends easily.

Shy, I suppose.

I hope she can fit in here.

- Oh, she's a good girl.

All right?

- Yes, so far.

What is spaghetti made of?

Spaghetti ingredients. I don't know.

Flour and water?

Flour and water?

How much does that cost?

Flour and water don't cost much.

Not much. A dollar for, say, a hundred

strands or a thousand strands?

A dollar for a couple

hundred strands probably.

How many strands, would you say,

are on this plate?

Fifty strands? Eighty?

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