The Object of My Affection Page #2

I told her you might be

looking for an apartment.

- I wanted to wait till your play was open.

- You didn't waste any time.

Can we talk about this when we get home?

This isn't appropriate.

Really? But it's appropriate for me to hear

my relationship is over from a stranger.

Our relationship isn't over.

Who are you sleeping with, Joley?

Please...

That's just...

- That's just a little simple.

- I'm a simple guy. It's why I teach first grade.

- I'm going to be 40 this summer.

- Oh, God.

But we're both too young

to settle for a twin-bedded friendship.

This hasn't really been working

for a long time.

Who have you got lined up, Joley?

He's a student of mine, but...

I... I don't know what to say.

Is this student

the reason you missed my play?

He's just breaking up with a woman

and he wanted to talk.

I want to be with him,

but I don't wanna hurt you.

- You're my best friend. What should I do?

- F*** you, Joley!

And f*** your student.

And f*** our friendship.

I didn't wanna tell you this

until you were ready.

I'm a nice man, George.

Great neighbourhood.

Looks very safe here. Lot of families.

Hey, look, I'll call you.

I can't get Showtime or HBO,

never mind the Food Network.

- I'm here for Nina Borowski.

- After you fix hers, you come and fix mine.

- Hi.

- Hi.

This is really embarrassing.

Oh, come on in.

I was happy you called.

I mean, I wasn't happy you needed

a place to stay, but still happy you called.

Come on up. I'm on the second floor.

Come on in.

- This is great.

- Let me show you the room.

Oh, it's nice.

It could use some personality, but somebody

at the centre can make you some curtains.

This won't be for very long.

I can move in with my brother

when his girlfriend moves out.

No rush.

And this is the bathroom.

This is my bedroom.

Oh! F***!

- You get a lot of light.

- Yeah.

- And this is the office.

- Oh.

That's it.

It's nice.

- Yeah, he's been engaged seven times.

- Wow. Really? Your brother?

Mm-hm.

- Would you like me to fix you up with him?

- Thanks. I've got my hands full with Vince.

It's ready.

- Can I ask you something?

- Sure.

- How come I'm staying here and he isn't?

- Oh, Vince works fine as it is.

Sit down.

OK.

Thanks.

You saved my life. Really.

- No hot water between two and seven.

- Did you get your TV fixed, Mrs Sarni?

Why, you wanna come over and watch?

OK, so you have the keys, the phone number.

You know the indoor buzzer doesn't work.

The Korean deli opposite the subway

is open till midnight. Avoid the salad bar.

Toaster's broken. Use the broiler instead.

Mail comes in the morning.

Don't let in any gas men,

unless you think either of us'd be interested.

- This is me.

- Well, thanks for everything.

Oh, sure. The subway is one block that way.

I'll see you later.

- What's happened to Vince?

- Nothing has happened to Vince.

- What's happened to Joley?

- Nothing.

I called you there. He said you'd moved.

So we did it on Saturday night.

And was it good?

It was OK - until on Sunday

I saw him with another girl.

What a moron!

Kiesha, Kiesha,

I like sex and I like boys a lot,

but I am not about to waste my time with a

guy who doesn't see things the way that I do.

Do you really need this guy?

This is the Earth.

And this tack, that's us, right here.

And the lamp is the sun.

So, why does it get dark?

The Earth spins.

Very good. Because the Earth spins.

- And how do we know that?

- Copernicus.

Nina?

Nina, is that you?

Hey, George. How are you? Vince McBride.

Nina's told me all about you.

- Nice to meet you.

- Glad you're here.

I feel better knowing somebody's

keeping an eye out for my girl.

- Hey. Vince, meet George.

- We're old friends already.

George, join us for a cup of tea?

You don't have to put on a robe for me.

Yeah. In fact, George, you could probably take

off all your clothes and Vince wouldn't mind.

She's eating me alive.

I dote on her and she's eating me alive.

See, aren't you glad

you settled down with us?

I was gonna be a teacher once -

get 'em while they're young.

Teach 'em they don't have to believe

somebody else holds the cards.

- He knows, Vince.

- No, he knows and he doesn't know.

- Why don't you teach at a public school?

- I got ajob at the Brinkley School.

But you're gay. Shouldn't you

stick up for the disenfranchised?

- Can't we talk about the movie, please?

- Wait. Mind if I ask how much you get paid?

- You make more than four figures, right?

- In the very early five figures.

Oh, Christ Almighty.

And they're all f***ing millionaires.

They couldn't eat lunch

on what they're paying you.

You gotta organise the teachers. I'll help you.

You're all getting screwed, you know that?

Well, thanks. That's all great advice.

But I'm afraid I have school tomorrow, so...

- It was great to meet you.

- You too.

- Good night, George.

- Good night.

Night, George.

- Oh, you terrorised him.

- What? We were having a nice conversation.

You told him he had the wrong job

and he made no money.

No, I told him he had the rightjob

in the wrong place, and made no money.

- You don't even know him.

- It never stopped me before.

My stepsister is right.

You are just a bulldozer.

What? I'm a pussycat.

Did I get angry with you when you let

a gay guy move in here instead of me? No.

- I like him.

- Vince, you don't have to like him.

But there is one thing. How come it's OK

for him to live on top of you and not me?

He's not living on top of me

and he's leaving in two weeks.

He's never going anywhere. He's gonna

fall in love with you and turn straight.

- You're crazy.

- Not if you're looking at what I'm looking at.

- Vince.

- What?

Get in here.

Hi.

Hey.

Late-night comfort food - bad habit.

Shh. Vince is asleep.

He's really very kind.

He just felt threatened by you.

- That's insane.

- No, it isn't.

He asked me the same thing you did.

Why am I living here and he isn't?

Bingo.

Maybe you should be the counsellor.

Do you love him?

Yeah.

Whatever that means.

I just don't know if I should be living

with him. Vince can really fill a room.

Did you love Joley?

Well, who knows?

I thought so.

Oh, God...

- George, I'm sorry.

- No, it's...

It's so stupid, you know.

I know - he's a prick.

- I keep thinking I should have seen it coming.

- No. No.

You did nothing wrong.

You... You just trusted him.

- But you wouldn't have let this happen.

- Oh, yeah, sure. I don't trust anybody.

Particularly not amusing,

good-looking, intelligent guys like Joley.

- And he has great taste.

- Mm.

Well, he doesn't have such great taste,

otherwise he'd still be with you.

Thank you.

- We should go dancing.

- What?

The community centre on Friday nights.

I'm signing us up.

You must think of every dance

as a three-minute love affair.

Boy meets girl, they fall in love with

the music and the stars and the orchestra,

and then they must part.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

I can't dance.

I can't even dahnce.

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