The Object of My Affection Page #7

- Do I see you again?

- I hope so.

When do I call you?

Oh, f***.

My roommate. I was supposed

to call her this morning. Sh*t!

- Your roommate?

- Yeah, we live together.

We don't live live together,

we just live together. Sh*t!

- She's in her bedroom. I'll call her.

- She's in bed, apparently.

- Hi, George.

- Hey, kiddo. Why you in bed? Are you sick?

I'm pregnant, George. Or have you been

so busy with Dr Joley that you forgot?

Nothing's happened with Dr Joley.

I've hardly seen him.

- So then let's go home.

- What do you mean?

There's a bus. At seven o'clock.

- Tonight?

- Sure. Why not?

I don't want you travelling alone so late.

How about I borrow my brother's car

and pick you up tomorrow?

George, please, please.

I'm so miserable. Please...

You could be on a train, too,

and we could be in our beds by midnight.

- Nina...

- Please. You have to rescue me.

I have got to get away from here,

and there's nothing for you to stay there for.

Anybody who bolts from the Hamptons

is OK with me.

I hate it here. It's so pretentious.

If I wasn't married and you weren't my wife's

stepsister, I'd have an affair with you.

I think you're terrific.

- Want some money?

- No, I'm fine.

- How about some Chuckles?

- No.

- I got the new Michael Crichton in the car.

- Oh, no, really. Thanks, Sidney.

OK. Oh, gosh. Photographs. I got it.

Hi.

Hi, man.

Hi, Melissa.

Hi.

- So, how are you, huh?

- Oh, sh*t!

- Hey, let me help you out.

- No, I'm fine, Vince. I got it. I'm fine.

OK.

Vince, honey?

Melissa, I'm just gonna say goodbye.

- Vince, I'm really tired.

- Just be a minute.

- Can I put you in a taxi?

- No, I'm fine.

- Come on...

- Vince, please! I'm fine, really.

- Give my love to George.

- Oh, sure. I certainly will.

Hey!

Oh. Oh, excuse me? Excuse me?

Oh, you're gonna be so glad you met me.

My purse was just stolen

and I'm pregnant and I have no way home.

- Are you hurt?

- No, I'm fine.

- You sure?

- Yeah. It's just my purse was stolen.

Well, let's go. I got it.

Oh, thank God.

So, we'll go report all this, and then I'm

getting off duty, so I'll give you a lift home.

I'm surprised he didn't arrest me. I'm mugged

and the goddamn desk sergeant blames me.

He's the only one like that.

The rest of us are sensitive.

"Lady, you asked for it. " I thought people

like that were banned from the police force.

It's none of his goddamn business

where the f*** my husband is!

- You don't seem to care.

- Me? I used to give women lots of opinions,

but now I go with the flow.

- Are you gay?

- I'm sorry?

I've a theory that a man who doesn't hit you

over the head with his opinions must be gay.

- Well, that makes as much sense as Freud.

- Makes a hell of a lot more sense than Freud!

Freud doesn't know dick about women.

I can't believe I just said that.

- Very nice of you to drive me home.

- Oh, not a problem.

If I were married,

I'd want someone to drive my wife home.

- Will your husband be there?

- I don't have a husband.

- The father?

- Oh, no, no. He will definitely not be there.

I hardly speak to him.

Well, you don't find anyone new

till you're brave enough to give up the old.

I don't really wanna find anyone new.

That's good.

- Happy with the status quo.

- Yeah.

Me, too.

But you're so nice.

You should be married.

You think all nice people are married?

What kind of counsellor are you?

Great. You can stop right over there.

Thank you so much.

You're really kind.

Oh!

George!

Oh, my gosh! You're back already? Hi!

Oh!

- Did you get a ride home?

- No. My purse got stolen at the bus station.

- What?

- And Vince and Melissa were on the bus.

And Sidney told me he would have an affair

with me! It's been the weekend from hell.

Come on. I'll make you some tea.

Hiya, sweetie. George, terrific news

about you and Dr Joley. Good for you.

- Thanks.

- Bye, George.

Hey.

- Nina, you find out who the father is yet?

- I call the shots, Kiesha.

Yeah!

- So what's for supper, Nina?

- Pot roast. It's George's favourite.

- Is he back yet?

- I don't know.

Paul?

Oh, jeez. He's supposed to be at the theatre.

Paul?

I fled at half-time.

A lot of pumped-up men

taking their clothes off. Dreadfully boring.

I've got to see King Lear tomorrow night,

God help me.

I fully expect him to step on stage,

say he's old, hot and strip to his underwear.

Oh, would you like a glass of vino?

And tell whoever it is you've got in there

he's left his knapsack on the sofa.

Ah, it's the graduate.

Do, please, come and sit down.

Paul and I are currently meandering through

some of the better Australian Chardonnays.

- Can I tempt you?

- No, thank you.

Oh.

Paul?

So, how's our distinguished

Shavian scholar Dr Joley?

Well, I haven't seen him

since the critics' convention.

Actually, George lives with a woman.

Really?

How Bloomsbury.

- Nina's my best friend.

- Paul and I visit the theatre quite often.

Perhaps you and your best friend

would care to join us one evening.

That's very kind of you,

but I'm not sure she likes the theatre.

Oh, she's absolutely right.

There's nothing to see.

Well, perhaps we could

go and have a meal together sometime.

We'd like to see more of you,

in any event, d'you know?

Well, I hope so.

You know, I'm sorry... I really...

Oh. Really?

Don't forget your little bag.

- Well, it's nice seeing you.

- Yes, indeed. Good night.

I'll be right back.

I'll call you tomorrow.

Thank you for returning my call.

Nina, you were probably right. You and I

as a couple were a pretty miserable match.

But I still love you.

That's my problem. I can deal with that.

Nina, whatever way

that you're planning on doing this,

for once in my life I'm not gonna tell you how.

I would just like to think

that I could somehow be part of the picture.

Vince,

you're the daddy.

- Oh, hi.

- Hi.

- How are you?

- Louis. This is Vince.

- Hi. Louis Crowley.

- Vince McBride.

This is my nephew Joe and my niece Sophie.

- Vince is the father of my...

- Baby. I'm the father of the baby.

Oh, I see... And how's...

- George. My roommate. He's...

- He's fine. He's home.

- Oh. Hey, great. Go with the flow.

- That's right.

The workings of her mind

appealed to him.

She leaves her warm bed in the cold dawn

to rush there full of zeal and loyalty...

Coming up,

Kurt will have sports. Stay with us.

Hi. Hey.

- Sorry.

- Don't be sorry.

Sorry I'm late.

Yeah, God, I'm sorry.

Did Nina tell you I was visiting some

college friends? And we drank too much...

- Well, why didn't you bring them?

- What?

What a shame to break up such a great party.

I'd like to meet your friends someday.

- So, how late did you stay up?

- Late.

So late there wasn't a cab left

in Manhattan, huh?

- Well, we were all too wrecked to go home.

- Whoo! My big brother, the party animal.

- Coffee?

- Yeah, please.

- D'you wanna hear the specials?

- No. Just orange juice and eggs Florentine.

- So, Caroline, is the wedding still on?

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