The Opposite of Sex Page #2

Bill doesn't talk about him that|much.

He's like, what, twenty years older|than you?

Nine. Sometimes ten, depending on|the month.

Have you always been a mo?

Yeah, I guess.

You've never slept with a girl.

Nope, never came up.

So to speak, right?

It's just not for me.

How would you know if you've never|tried it?

I never tried Communism, but I know|I wouldn't like that.

It's the same thing. Or grits.

Have you ever slept with a Black|person?

No, I don't think so.

Because you know you wouldn't like|it.

No, I don't know that.

So even though you've never tried|either...

you'd have sex with a Black|person but not with me.

God, it's like reverse|discrimination.

Quotas.

Is it?

Yeah, it's prejudice.

Would you mind?

I think you can reach them yourself.

Scared you'll get a woody?

Dedee, look...

you're really great, but I'm gay.

Theory.

Whatever. You're my boyfriend's|sister--

Half-sister. Look, I get it, okay?

If I was you and I had this great|setup...

and the guy I was with was|fifteen years older than me...

and all I had to do was blow him|a couple of times a year...

I wouldn't rock the boat either.

You're a homo. Fine, whatever.|Like I give a sh*t.

Nine-- ten at the most-- years older.

He could be your father.

Basically, you're blowing your father.|That can't feel right.

I never knew my father.

And you really think this is a good|way to make up for it?

Matt struggled for a while, which I|thought showed a lot of loyalty to Bill.

But I got him over that. And by|the end of the month...

he was calling in sick to Kinko's|so often, they almost fired him.

I almost felt bad about it.|But I had my reasons.

I know AIDS is like awful and|stuff...

and that guy who got all those|boys up to his room...

and ate them and froze them and|then got killed in prison...

Like we cared.|I mean, all that is disgusting.

But they do look better than|straight people. And smell better.

They're cleaner, if you don't|count viruses.

And there's not all that hair in|their ears and noses and stuff.

So it evens out.

Anyway, Matt wasn't totally faggy.

He knew what to do with it, believe|me.

I've got bad news.

What?

I'm late.

Okay, I'll drive you.

No, I mean, I'm late.

My period's late.

Do you know what that means?

I'm pregnant. We're pregnant.

You're kidding. We were using|condoms.

Are you sure?

Is it mine?

See? Only straight boys ever say|that line. You're in.

No, I mean, don't get my hopes up if|you're not sure.

We were gonna break it to him in|stages.

One, we're in love. Two...surprise.

We had just gotten to number one|when Lucia dropped by. Typical.

I knew you were trouble. This is|your brother here.

And you, how could you?

It just happened. We didn't mean to|hurt anyone.

You're gay, you jerk!

- He just never met the right woman.|- Yeah, one with a dick.

Is that a cut?

For your information, I'm bisexual.

I went to a bar mitzvah once,|that doesn't make me Jewish.

Who says that bisexual sh*t besides|gay men?

I'd understand if we can't go on|living here.

You would get that, congratulations.

It's just that...with the baby and|all, it would be easier.

You're pregnant?

It was gonna be a surprise.

- Do you wanna get an abortion?|- No...god...

Bill, if we could just stay here until|we get married and the baby comes...

Who said anything about getting|married?

You don't wanna get married?

I just don't think it's something we|should rush into.

No, but bring another human life|onto the planet, that's whim time.

Am I the only one here who wants|to kill someone?

- You wish.|- I'll talk to you all tomorrow.

I'm beat.

Smoking is bad for the baby.

Like you care. Or was it someone|else who mentioned abortion?

You're breaking his heart.

I think I'm a little late for that.

Where are you going? Matt?

Give me one of those.

At least now he'll know what Matt's|really like.

You're probably a blessing in|disguise.

A f***ing good disguise.

God, how does a woman get so bitter?

Observation.

She's under seventeen, and she's my|sister.

I didn't take advantage of her.

She had a death in the family.|She came to us for help.

She said you'd be jealous.

What?

I'm gonna have a kid, Bill.

I'm gonna have a normal life.|That pisses you off.

Normal life?

F*** you, Matt. F*** you.

Don't talk, pack. Pack yourself,|pack her...

and get the hell out of here!

I kind of felt sorry for him.|He couldn't help being old.

I said he was really nice,|and thanks for the hospitality...

and don't tell my mom.

Here's where he finds out we took|the safe deposit money...ouch.

But he's gonna cover for us|and tell them he authorized it.

Such a nice guy.

Love him, hate me, right?

People getting dumped are always|lovable, even homos.

Wait. I can really lay it on.

It's just music.|It doesn't mean he's better than me.

You can't help yourselves.

you see someone smell a pillow or an|old T-shirt, you're a basket case.

I could've showed you the other stuff|he did besides mooning around.

He ate like a pig, for one.

He licked his plate, I'm not|kidding you.

He flossed, he clipped his|toenails, he paid some bills.

Does that make your heart break?

His boyfriend, or whatever, leaves,|and he pays the cable bill?

His boyfriend, or whatever, leaves,|and he pays the cable bill?

So he wasn't dying of pain...yet.

- Mr. Truitt?|- Yes?

- What have you done with Matt?|- Excuse me?

Matt? Matt Matteo, your boyfriend?

Mine, too.

Who are you?

Jason Bock. I went to Hoover four|years ago.

Don't even pretend that you didn't|know about Matt and l.

About Matt and me.

I have been calling for the last two|days, no answer.

He left his job, and his car is gone.|Where is he?

I have no idea.

Don't you blow me off.

I could make trouble for you,|you know, tell them you're gay.

They already know I'm gay, you|little prick.

And you came on to me when I was a|student.

Do they know that?

That's a lie.

Tell me where he is.

You got a problem?

New piercing.

Did he ever mention Dedee to you,|my half-sister?

She's visiting from Louisiana.

He's in Louisiana?

No. But he took off with her.|They're in love.

That's what he told me.

He's bi? Are you serious?

We're always the last to know.

F*** you. I wanna talk to him.

If I don't hear from him by Friday,|I'm going to the police.

For all I know, you killed him.

Then for all you know, I'm just|getting started.

Get him to call me!

Of course, he told her.

This is a major problem, Bill.

You're in denial, fine, I'm not.

Lucia wasn't surprised|that Matt had been screwing around.

And that Jason kid had been in her|homeroom for two years...

so she knew what he was like.

After high school,|he went up to Chicago...

and became one|of those "Act Up" people...

who think AIDS is this big|conspiracy against homos.

Maybe it is, who knows? All I know|is it isn't working.

There seem to be more of them than|ever before, you know what I mean?

They're tricky.

Anyway, Bill tried to convince her|it was all a bluff.

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