The Opposite of Sex Page #3

You put yourself through this, you're|gonna give yourself a heart attack.

Face it, he's going to ruin you.

He's just trying to scare me. He's|angry. Matt dumped him, too.

I don't know how you do it. You're|always so nice and so good.

Tom was like that, too. It's|depressing.

You're nice.

That's how I always felt|around you two...

Like the Baroness|in "The Sound of Music."'

Everyone else is off singing and|climbing an alp...

and I just want to stuff that|guitar up that nun's ass and...

Oh, my god...

That little creep went|to the police. I told you.

Hey, Lucia, how are you?

Hi, Bill. Got a minute?

Sure, Carl. What's up? See you|tomorrow.

- I can stay.|- Actually, Lucia, it's business.

Actually, Carl, it's fine.

Here's the deal. I got this stupid|thing I'm checking out.

Do you know a Jason Bock?

Yep, I met him Tuesday.

He says when he was a student here|four years ago, you molested him.

I never liked the looks of this kid,|but I gotta do something.

Why?

I haven't told Walter yet.

But you'll have to. He's the|principal, it's state law.

There you go. Good job, Carl.

There's something else.

He filed a missing person's report|on Matt. Do you know where he is?

No, I don't.

This Jason creep said something|about a sister.

They left me a note,|but I don't know where it is anymore.

- Where does that put us?|- Well, I don't know.

You let me know as soon as you hear|from either of them.

You haven't asked me if it's true,|if I molested him.

Because he knows that you didn't.

I'd like to send him some place they|will, for about five to ten.

It might put some sense into him.

Only if his brains are in his ass.

That strikes me as fairly likely.

You take care.

We'll keep this quiet as long as|possible.

It's nice to see you again, Lucia.|It's been a long time.

Only about a year, Carl.

Since the funeral, remember?|Remember Nancy's funeral?

Good night. We'll talk tomorrow.

This is why I hate people.

You always want to know why, well,|take it in.

Are you a lesbian?

No. You are all a**holes.

Jennifer Oakes, is that you?

Hi, Miss Dalury. Any comment on the|charges against William Truitt?

And I wrote you a letter of|recommendation.

Did you know about this?

There were messages on my machine, I|just heard them this morning.

People will believe anything.

Did you call that lawyer that I|told you about?

What for?

Hello, this is America. We don't|like sodomy so much here.

Yeah, but the schools are good.

Speaking of which...

You are not going in.

Bill! There are reporters out there.

Tanya and Clint,|I am here at Hoover High School...

where a sex scandal has exploded...

involving a high school teacher|whose seeming popularity...

may, in fact, be the cover...

for predatory advances upon|young male students...

entrusted to him by this outraged|and devastated community.

This is America, and we're|Christians here.

Aside from a few Jewish people|who were just born that way.

And I can tell you one thing...

Jesus Christ and his apostles were|certainly not into man on man action...

which is how they describe it|on their porno videos...

which I'm proud to say|Blockbuster does not carry.

I work there, and it's very family.

Plus that religion John Travolta|belongs to.

If I save one kid from getting ---

from having his --- totally ---

until it looks like the Lincoln Tunnel|and he can 't stand up for three weeks...

then maybe all of this is worth|something.

Teachers everywhere have to learn|that no means no.

At least until we've dropped out.

I'm just gonna give you|the broad strokes here...

'cause I've got|my own problems with Matt.

Bill got suspended with pay.|It didn't even bother him.

I guess when your first boyfriend, Tom,|the dead guy, croaks in front of you...

and his stupid sister|takes over your life...

and then your next|boyfriend splits...

you're kind of primed for sh*t.

It's hard to top that with|suspensions and people hating you...

and losing a job you're too|rich for anyway.

Lucia said it was denial. Natch,|what else?

Bill just hired a lawyer, stayed|at home, and worked on his garden.

F*ggot!

Meanwhile, guess who was having|the time of her life.

Because all her predictions came|true.

Between the time we left|and that stupid phone call...

which I can't go into right now,|she was flying.

Look at the lipstick on her.

She better hope it's drool-proof.

You don't have to hear any of this.

There's nothing going on except|her trying not to leave.

She had a life once. She just, I|don't know, stopped feeding it.

So after a while it wandered away.

They started out like a typical|American family.

And you know how that ends up. They|typically went to sh*t pretty quick.

Marcia, Tricia, Lucia...

Tom, the dead guy.

If you ask me, it was a giveaway|he liked the spanking.

This is Tricia's wedding.

Tom turned out cute, didn't he?|They all do.

She didn't.

I know in movies you kind of feel|sorry for girls like this.

But in real life, you wouldn't be|sitting next to her either.

Come over here, honey.

Come here. Come here, Lucia.

Here you go. Would you take care of|these, please.

Right now she's thinking, "At|least I've got Tom."

Ever since they were kids, she had|like a crush on him or something.

So did the best man.

You could tell it wrecked her.

She was a virgin till she was|twenty-eight.

But she eventually sort of, kind|of, maybe forgave her brother.

She had to. No one else in the|family could stand her.

Besides, he was a stockbroker in the|'80's, and he made a lot of money.

You didn't buy me a house?|You bought me a house?

Happy birthday.

Oh, my god, I can't believe you.

I love you.

I love you, too, Tom.

None of this makes me like her more.

But I thought you should know...|just to be fair.

Lucia...

Hi, Carl.

What a coincidence, I was just|talking to Bill. He sounds good.

No thanks to you.

It wasn't personal, you know that.

I do, do l?

The kid's story's not gonna hold up.|The Board will clear him.

His reputation is ruined.

He never gave a damn about|reputation.

Then he's got company. See you,|Carl.

Hang on...

I can't remember whether Nancy said|these should make noise or not.

What do you think?

I think you should ask someone who|gives a sh*t.

Why don't you ask her nurse?

Shari?

I didn't figure you for somebody|who'd listen to gossip.

Suppose you mind your business|and I'll mind mine, okay?

I'm home!

He called. He f***ing called.

Come on up, I'll play you the|message.

Did you call back?

Yeah. It's some kind of a pay phone|in L.A...

corner of Robertson and Santa|Monica.

I called Carl.

He's got some kind of a program|with every phone number in the U.S.

When did you call Carl?

About an hour ago.

I just saw him at the store.

Yeah, right, whatever.

Will you keep an eye on the house|for me while I'm gone?

You don't know where they're living.

I'll find them. I found the pay|phone.

But why?

What do you mean, why? To drag his|sorry ass back here, that's why.

To make Jason take it all back,|and to ship Dedee...

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