The Opposite of Sex Page #9

Lucia and Carl had their baby.|You can imagine the pick of that litter.

It was the kind of kid that if|you played with it too much|after a feeding, you threw up.

But they loved it.

Bill was cute with R.J. --|that's Randy junior.

Even though it spooked me at|first...

him changing a boy baby and|getting good peaks at his little thing.

But he says straight dads change|girl babies all the time|and nothing ever comes of that.

Is he naive or what?

Anyway, R.J. was crazy about him|and vice-versa.

But he never really took to me.

Maybe Jason was right,|I'm not the mommy type.

I don't care.

But the court says I'm supposed|to hang here with my brother until|I'm eighteen...

just the three of us, except for once|a week visits from my parole officer.

It wasn't once a week for long.

I didn't mind.

If there have to be gay people,|at least it's nice there's enough|of them to go around.

Seems like everybody's|having sex but me.

Good for them.

It's not that I'm against sex.

It was clever of God or evolution|or whatever to hook the survival|of the species to it...

because we're gonna screw around|no matter what.

It was a smarter thing to pick|than say...

the instinct to share your toys|or return phone calls.

We'd have died out like eons ago.

But on the minus side, god...|all the attachment that goes with it.

It's like this net.

Sex always ends in kids|or disease...

or like, you know,|relationships.

That's exactly what I don't want.

I want the opposite of all that.

Because it's not worth it,|not really, is it...

when you think about it?

Okay, so maybe I'm wrong.|Maybe it's not all sh*t. Maybe...

God damn it.

I thought the whole idea|was I know what happens next.

I'll tell you one thing...

I'm not gonna go back to Bill's house|and be this big changed person for you.

I told you right off|I don't grow a heart of gold.

And if I do, which is, like,|so unlikely...

give me a break and don't make|me do it in front of you.

Come on, guys, go, okay?

Go!

I'll give you this much, though...

I never was the same again after|that summer.

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