The Orange Man Page #5

- I'll catch up.

- Okay.

- It wasn't Roger I

saw the other night.

I'm sure.

It was him, the guy

Wilbur was talkin' about.

He had...

Dark eyes and a hook hand.

- That's nonsense.

- Is it?

Well how else do you

explain the orange?

The one that flew

through the window.

You just saw it

with your own eyes.

- Come on, Reggie.

You heard Wilbur.

That's just some

story he found online.

- Maybe, but...

The other night when

you guys were gone,

I heard a scratch,

a tapping noise.

It started out, then

it went to a scratch.

He was pulling that hook

along the wall, taunting me.

He wanted me to

take a look at him

so he could cut my neck open.

- Look, it's just

been a crazy weekend.

Reggie, relax.

- All right.

Have you ever noticed that

I'm the only brother out here?

And it's always the black

guy that dies first.

- Come on, can't we just relax

and enjoy the rest of the trip?

- Suit yourself.

- I'd better go find

Wilbur before he gets lost.

- Oh yeah baby.

Hi there.

Nice day to get a tan, isn't it?

- Who are you?

- Hey I'm Jimmy.

- Were you watching me?

- I wasn't watching you, I

mean spying on you, I mean...

- Then what were you doing?

- I'm a birdwatcher.

I come out every year

at mating season.

Bagah bagah bagah.

Hey hey hey, take it easy.

I'm not gonna bite ya.

I'm just saying hello is all.

Huh?

- Have a date to this, b*tch.

Brenda Brenda

Brenda and Wilbur

Brenda

Brenda and Wilbur

Brenda Brenda

Brenda and Wilbur

Brenda Brenda

Brenda and Wilbur

Brenda Brenda

Brenda Brenda

Brenda and Wilbur

Brenda Brenda Brenda

Hoot stick!

Ow!

Hoot stick!

Sh...

My glasses.

- You all right?

- Oh geez, you scared me.

I can't see nothin'

without my glasses.

- You're bleeding.

- A rock or a

falcon or something

hit me in the head.

Oh, it hurts.

- Come on.

We'd better get

you back to camp.

- Thanks Gerald.

- Careful.

- I can't see nothin'

without my glasses.

- They're on your head.

- So how bad is it?

- Eh, you'll live.

- This is all I could find.

- Thanks, thanks.

- My head's pounding.

It feels like somebody

hit me with a hammer.

- It could have

been a lot worse.

From the height of that cliff,

anything bigger you

would have been dead.

- I wonder if anybody's

ever fell off that cliff.

- It would be a long

drop, that's for sure.

- They'd splat like a pancake.

- That scared me, sh*t.

- You know, I read

an article once

about this lady in Russia.

She felt out of an

airplane and lived.

- I wonder what

was the last thing

that went through her mind.

- Not living?

- Beats me but man, she fell

over 33,000 feet and survived.

That's incredible.

- Ouch.

She must have broke

a lot of bones.

- As long as your

package still functions,

that's all that matters.

- Speaking of that,

don't you guys think

Jimmy should be back by now?

- How long have we known

each other guys, huh?

Jimmy's relentless.

If he's not back by tomorrow,

we'll go look for him.

- Okay.

I...

I gotta go lay down.

Ow.

Thanks guys.

- He's f***ed up.

- Yeah.

Still no sign of Jimmy?

- Uh-uh.

- That's everything.

- We need to be leaving now.

Guys, we're gonna have to

split up and find Jimmy.

- I'll look around down here.

- Good.

I'll look through the

woods behind here.

Do you mind hiking

that peak, Wilbur?

- Sure thing.

- Okay.

We'll meet back here

in about an hour.

- Got ya.

- Jimmy!

Hey Jimmy, we're goin'!

Jimmy?

Where are you?

Hey Jimmy!

Jimmy!

Where are you?

Jimmy?

Ah.

Dammit!

Quit playing jokes, Gerald.

I can't see very well.

My glasses are all messed up.

You're not Gerald.

Stay away.

Stay away.

- Run piggy, run.

- Please.

You don't have to do this.

- Oops.

- Why are you doing this to me?

Why?

Why?

- You know, there are over 50

varieties of navel oranges.

The ones from Florida

are my favorites.

- Mommy!

- F***.

Oh f*** me!

No!

Holy f***!

Gerald!

Jimmy!

Oh Jesus.

Oh Jimmy.

Gerald?

Gerald!

Help!

Help!

Help Jimmy!

Holy sh*t.

Oh sh*t!

Oh sh*t.

You f***ing prick!

Prick.

F*** you.

Ah, you son of a f***ing b*tch!

Bye, you sh*t fuckies.

Ow!

- Ah yeah!

Haha!

Yeah!

- Ow!

Ow!

- I'm coming for you!

- F*** you.

- My God, Jimmy!

- Oh!

- You're mine.

- Come on.

Sh*t.

Come on, come on.

Go go.

Come on.

- Get outta there!

No!

- Gerald!

Stop Gerald!

He's coming to get me!

Stop Gerald!

No!

- You must be Gerald.

- Yes.

- I'm Dr. McDonald.

My deepest condolences

for your losses.

- Thank you.

How is he doing?

- Not good.

I admit that I'm shocked

he even survived.

Why the impact alone was

enough to kill an elephant.

Are you sure, before we go

in, that you want to see this?

- Yes, doctor.

I need to.

He's the only

friend I have left.

- Very well.

Like I said, there's not

much left to look at.

I'll leave you.

- Hey pal.

How you doin'?

It's okay, it's okay.

I'm here for you.

And I'm not going anywhere.

I guess you probably

heard about the others.

They didn't make it.

But that's why you

need to hang in there.

You can beat this,

I know you can.

- It's time for

your friend's lunch.

You've gotta eat

and get some rest,

and I recommend you do the same.

- But I just got here.

- Oh God.

- Think about your

friend's health.

How's he supposed

to get any better

if he's not gonna get any sleep?

- Okay.

- Don't you worry.

We'll take good care of him.

- You're gonna be okay, Reg.

- We'll be fine.

- Oh God.

- You uh, mind closing

the door on your way out?

- I'll see you first

thing in the morning.

Take care, pal.

- Oh no.

Ow!

Help me.

- Go on.

Have a taste.

- Good morning, Susan.

- Good morning sir.

- Please call me Gerald.

- Um, this came for

you this morning.

Do you just want me to

put it on your desk?

- No thank you.

I'll take it.

- I am so sorry about what

happened to your wife, Gerald.

I read about it in the

paper this morning.

- It's a shame.

- Now you can't

feel guilty, Gerald.

There's nothing that you

could have done to help her.

Um...

- You're right.

Honestly, our marriage

was already over

but no one deserves

to die that way.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't bother

you with my personal matters.

- It's quite all right.

I'll let you get back to work.

- Susan?

Could I interest you in

dinner tonight at my place?

I'm sorry.

My apologies.

I'm sorry for being so personal.

- No!

- Huh?

- Yes.

- You look absolutely stunning.

- Aw, thank you.

- Please come in.

- Whatever you're

cooking smells wonderful.

- Well thank you.

Can I take your coat?

- I love your home.

There's something

about an older home

that does resonate that

charm of yesteryear.

How many bedrooms are there?

- Six.

Which makes for a

big lonely home,

given everything that

I've gone through.

I'm a bit scared to

sleep here, honestly.

Um, make yourself comfortable.

And in the meantime, can I

get you something to drink?

- You may.

What are you having?

- Wine.

- Then I'll have the same.

Thank you.

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