The Ouija Exorcism

Hear anything?

Nope.

Bev?

Nope.

This thing's stupid.

You know what isn't stupid?

Your birthday present.

What is it?

Just open it.

I can't believe you stole

this from your dad's office.

Let's try it.

Is this Jewish?

You mean Hebrew?

Right, Yossi?

Yeah, but it's not Hebrew.

I think it's Chinese.

How does this thing work?

Well, it's a spirit board.

You're supposed to contact

people or ask it questions.

Like dead people?

Or is Bev going to kiss you?

Shut up, Max.

What?

I'm just stating the obvious.

I think just dead people.

Ask it a question already.

Did my mom and dad get me

the BMX bike that I wanted?

Does Beverly Morgan like Yossi?

This thing is also stupid.

Maybe because

you're not asking it

The right questions.

Hey, Bev.

Your parents are here.

- Oh, okay.

- And you two?

It's time to get to sleep.

Alright, I promised

your dad that you

Would be in bed

before nine, pal.

Alright boys?

Okay, Dad.

Okay, Mr. T.

Alrighty.

You know, I

think Max asked one

Right question on the board?

Which one?

Gross!

You going to miss me?

Always.

Okay, Romeo,

let's get to bed.

Quit it, Max.

Max, is that you?

Hello?

Hello?

Aba?

Yossi! Are you

okay? What happened?

It's Max, something's wrong.

Yosef.

I took the Ouija board

and let Max play with it and

What Ouija board?

The one from my office?

Yes, I'm sorry, I...

It's out.

Yosef, you find a

place to hide at Max's

And you don't come

out 'til I get you!

Yosef! Yosef!

Show yourself demon!

Yousef?

Mark?

Aba?

Yousef, run!

Hello?

Oh.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll be there

as soon as I can.

Bye.

I'm so glad I finally

get to meet my grandfather

For the first time,

Right before he's about to die.

Yeah, I guess I deserve that.

You think?

Look, you want to blame Dov

for keeping us apart, not me.

Why do you always

call him that?

Because that's his name.

I know, but he's your father.

Was my father.

I haven't seen that

man in over 30 years.

I'm having a hard

time figuring out

Why he would put

you in a foster home

For no reason.

Because your grandfather is an

Extremely selfish man.

Just sucks is all.

Especially considering

you can't remember

Your childhood because

of some stupid accident.

Yeah.

It does suck.

But I had no control over that.

But you know the

one thing I do have

Control over is

being your father.

And just so you

know, I would never

Ever do what Dov

did to me to you.

I care about you way too much.

I care about you too, Dad.

Come on, Dad.

He's stable now.

But we're not sure

how much time he has.

Does he know we're here?

No. I did has you asked.

I didn't tell him

you were coming.

Thank you.

I'll leave you to it then.

You okay?

Grandpa?

You're a handsome young man.

What's your name?

Noah.

I'm your grandson.

I don't have a grandson.

Yes. Yes you do.

Yousef you're...

You're not supposed

to be in this house.

It's too dangerous.

I think after 30 years I

actually deserve an explanation.

What is so dangerous

about an old house?

It's not the house,

it's what's in it.

Noah, leave the room.

- Dad

- No, go.

I did what I had

to do to protect you.

Protect me?

You self-righteous piece

of crap, protect me?

I spent 10 years getting my

ass kicked in foster homes

Where was your protection then?

It was for your own good.

Now, please leave.

Before it's too late.

I know you're not an

observant man anymore.

But promise me you will

never lose your faith,

Especially in me.

That's easy.

I never had it to begin with.

Games on in 15,

babe, in and out.

Geez, what's their problem?

You'd think somebody died.

Please behave yourself, Jeff.

What's in it for me?

What do you mean?

We haven't done it in forever.

I wonder why that is.

Oh wow, Beverly Morgan.

You look amazing.

You don't look

half bad yourself.

I am so sorry for

your loss, Yossi.

Thank you,

And it's Joe now.

Joe. Okay.

Hi, Noah Barnett,

at your service.

Chloe.

I'm sorry for your loss.

You must have made this.

Why?

Because it smells heavenly

Can I go now?

I have some flowers for ya.

Uh,

Sorry about your dad, man.

He was a weird old dude.

Yeah. Yeah I should

probably get rid of these.

I just paid 35.99 for those.

You just going to chuck them?

No, in the Jewish tradition

we don't believe in flowers

For mourning, so that's why

You know what, thank you.

These are great.

I'll go put these in water.

Noah?

Yep.

They're not even real.

This sucks.

Joe, I'm so sorry.

Non-Hodgkin's

lymphoma, that's rough.

Yeah it was.

Especially on Noah.

Towards the end, seeing

his mother like that,

Knowing there was nothing

he could do to help.

It really did a

number on both of us.

I know exactly how you feel.

We lost Chloe's dad, my husband,

To colon cancer three years ago.

I'm so sorry.

Thanks.

Let's talk about something,

A little less depressing.

I think that's a great idea.

So Jeff, huh?

Okay, good subject.

Hey, remember when

we were kids your dad

Wouldn't let us be in the

same room alone together?

Oh, the good old days.

We're all grown up now though.

Yes we are.

You were really cute

back then though.

Your glasses, your little curls.

What happened?

Well I don't have

the glasses anymore

And my little curls

are now big curls.

I have much bigger curls

than what I had before.

So I know you and

Noah have to get back,

But, we're actually

going to a cabin

On Friday if you'd

like to join us.

Oh.

That sounds really

cool, but I think um

There's just a million

things to do around here

You know, and Noah

has school on Monday,

So I think we're just

going to sit this one out.

Maybe next time.

Noah?

What was that?

Yeah dad.

Thanks.

Anytime.

It's good to have you back.

If you change your

mind, let me know.

I will.

Ouija, or spirit board, predates

to China around 1100 A.D.

People commonly use

the board as a way

To contact the dead.

Yeah. I mean what's the

worst that could happen?

Okay board, let's see

what you have to say.

I'm looking for my

mother, Jennifer Barnett.

Mom are you there?

Hello?

Anyone there?

Mom?

Grandpa?

Whoopi?

I knew this thing was bullshit.

Hello?

What the?

One. Never play alone.

Two. Never let planchette

count down through

The numbers or backwards

through the alphabet.

Three. Never mention God.

Four. Always say goodbye.

I mean, one out

of four ain't bad.

Hey Dad, does

grandpa have a cat?

I don't think so,

he was allergic.

Why?

No reason.

So, this is it.

Yep.

Look, if you change your mind

Here is the address

to the cabin.

Cell service can be a little

shoddy so just show up, okay?

Okay.

Come on, babe!

We're late for Jeff-town!

Population beers and burgers!

Take care of yourself, Yossi.

Joe.

Sorry, old habits.

Bye, Noah.

So, cabin?

No.

And you make

great sandwiches too.

What do you do?

What do you contribute

to the household?

You drink beer and

you watch football.

And I cook steaks.

Occasionally.

Only when I make you.

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